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Show f DAILY D2 Wednesday, December 19. 2007 HERALD Stuck between boyfriend, best friend Carolyn: hates Dear bestboyfriend friend and I'm stuck in the middle. She has always been known for being a little bossy and opinionated, and he for being sensitive and overreacting. She and I were roommates until 1 moved out a few months ago to live with the boyfriend in another state. She didn't want me to leave, and was pretty cold about it I get the feeling she likes to be the friend who has life figured out, with me as the friend who listens to her sage advice. But I'm really happy with my life now, and 1 don't really need her advice, especially if it is condescending. She just left after a weekend visit, and I haven't stopped hearing about how much he hates her'. She was probably a little irritating, but 1 don't like confrontation so 1 didn't say anything to her. 1 also can't really think of specific things she did wrong. I got tired of her attitude and even more tired of hearing about it from him. When do I have to step in? Bes t Friend vs. Boyfriend To say what? To which one? You present one way of looking at it: Strong-wille- d friend irritates sensitive boyfriend, clashing ensues. Here's another way: woman is naturally drawn to people with dominant personalities, and when two of them meet, clashing ensues. Getting stuck in the middle isnt unique to passive people, but it is their particular plague. I'd venture you've been here before, though maybe not with these stakes. Even if I'm wrong, you will be here again if you don't step back far enough to see this isn't a matter of telling your best friend to back off. "She was probably a little irritating" your words, my emphasis. Do you really want to become your boyfriend's messenger every time someone in your camp rubs him the wrong way? The time to step in is now, and the person to side with is you. Make your own judgments about who did what m Carolyn Hax Tell Me About It ) to whom, and why, and how upset you are about it, and what outcome you'd most like to see. Take a position accordingly. It's something you don't like to do, I get it, as do most people, since conflict avoidance is the emotional common, cold. Just know, though, that people who don't assert themselves are essentially agreeing to live life on the terms of those around them who do. If you don't like it, then maybe it's time to find out why you're averse to speaking up, and what you can do to -- MIGUEL VtUAGRANAssoclated Press Tom Cruise right and Katie Holmes pose for the photographers on the red carpet prior to the Bambi media award ceremony in Duesseldorf, western Germany. Holmes debuted her new Bob haircut, following a trend in Hollywood for the hairstyle. Is Holmes' chic short hair start of a trend? Erin Carlson Carolyn: lama college student who has been in a serious relationship for several years. My parents seem in complete denial of this. My boyfriend is not allowed upstairs, and I am not allowed to sleep at his house although they know we sleep at each other's apartments at' school 1 have never rebelled but this is getting ridiculous. How can they change their minds? Helpless at Home THE ASSOClATtD PRESS Call it "SciNEW YORK entology Chic." Katie Holmes debuted a stylish bob this past summer and, all of a sudden, her "reinvention from twenty something to sophisticated arm candy of Tom Cruise seemed established in this case, the hair really DID make the woman. The "Dawson's Creek" alum recently updated her look, displaying bangs at a event in Germany. Photos of the china-dol- l haircut swept through cyberspace, as Internet critics weighed in: some loved it, some hated it, and some sniped at its uncanny resemblance to the 'do of her low-ke- y eye-grazi- Any way they want. Since they dont want, what you're really asking is how you can change their minds. Two words: "Get" and "job." When you support yourself, you call the shots. Till then, you roll eyes and count days like everyone else. red-carp- daughter, Suri "Is it just me or does Katie Kate Holmes look like an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PERSON with her hair cut into that short, sharp bob??" Elle magazine blogger Carol Han observed. "She's gotten about 17 times hotter, while Tom seems to have gotten exponentially Carolyn at tellme washpost.com or chat online with her each Friday at noon Eastern time, at www.washingtonpost.com worse looking!" While long hair remains the norm in Hollywood, a handful versatile of cropped cuts variations on The Bob are making bold statements, from to stand out, given the buzz surrounding her megahit "UmBeckham's brella" Holmes B.FJF. took a more moderate approach, as did Christina Applegate and Hilary Swank. Holmes' classic coiff Christina Ricci recently popped up on the red carpet with an bob. Posh, schmosh, says Amy beauty director at In Style magazine. She says the trend began sev- to Vic- toria "Posh Spice" Beckham's sleek style to pop star Rihan-na- 's edgy mane makeover. "The bob really comes back every couple of years, and it really is just a way of kind of like startcleaning house ing new but still (having) a great, feminine haircut," says hairstylist Ken Paves. "And all the girls that are wearing it right now are wearing it to perfection, I believe. I think RQianna's hair is genius. I love eral years ago when former bad girl Nicole Richie classed-u- p her image with a sideswept bob (a good PR move, given behavior the d tabloid of certain magnets.) "There was a time when the bob was considered a more conservative, preppy hairstyle, and that's no longer the case," long-haire- Katie's." As for who triggered the bob's rebirth among the rich and trendy, Paves, whose celeb clientele includes Jennifer j. Lopez and Jessica Simpson, points the finger at Beckham "It would be silly to say that she was the only person in Hollywood wearing a bob, because, you know, by all but hers means, she was not definitely drew the most attention at that time," he says of the media frenzy over the Spice Girl's drastic 2006 hairdo: stacked in the back, angled at the side. Rihanna put a severe spin on The Posh last spring with super a smart way lopsided layers . Holiday .TaditiQiis e, Synnott-DAnnibal- explains Synnott-D'Annibal- e, who says the style "reflects a bigger change in Hollywood that among the younger generation there's a desire to be more stylish than sexy." More and more young stars under constant scrutiny ' from TMZ.com and other are celebrity news outlets tending to their appearance and dressing to impress other women rather than appeal to mens' taste for revealing outfits and long, wavy hair, says. New York stylist Harry Josh, who oversees the silky manes of Gwyneth Paltrow and Gisele Bundchen, says "there's an overwhelming boredom with nuir right now. v Going above the shoulder is so much fresher than keeping it on the long side, but there's very few people that are willing to take the plunge." He thinks it would take at least "20 major people" to make the trend mainstream. "It'd be more influential if Kate Moss, Cameron Diaz, you know, those kind of girls did something with their hair, because people look at them and think, 'I want to be them,"' says Josh, who. shuns Holmes' status as a fashion icon. All things considered, Frances Baetiong, 27, from Naper-vill111., was so intrigued by Holmes' hair that she brought a photo of the star to the salon a couple weeks ago. "I ended up chickening out with the bangs," says Baetiong, who instead took inspiration from Beckham for an asymmetrical bob that one friend calls "the VictorVictoria Beckham." says she's met several women who tell her that Holmes spurred their decisions to get bob styles. "It's a pretty wearable style," she says. "It's not that e, Synnott-D'Anniba- crazy. A. Murillo UPTO 5$ OFF Ornaments, Ughts, and Decor ;$10"c6up6n; For All ! . 1 Good , Clearance Items music family friendly. They've found ways to make the music catchy and fun, Pearlman said, Continued from Dl without being sexual Alex Murillo jokingly calls "The goal is not to be too out them "one Mormon boy and there," Pearlman said. "I think all of us are pretty much in the four gentiles." Jared, a memsame boat. We're looking to ber of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-da- y have a fun, great album that Saints, is interested in maintaining high everybody could enjoy, witmoral standards. her purposely trying to upset "Jared has made very clear anyone." "He's a good kid," Pearlman going into this that he wants continued. "There's no doubt." to make it Disney safe," Page r At Jared's age, many LDS said, "not to use words and not to talk about young men are preparing to church missex too explicitly. He's the one go on a two-yesion, but his father said Jared guy that's really concerned about that and I'm sure it's behas decided to put a mission on hold and pursue his career for cause of his background." But both Page and Pearlman now. "He's on the fast track right said they've agreed to keep the four-lette- . ar Offer Valid UnttT 122607 . Minimum $15 Purcww ' now," Alex Murillo said. "So we don't know what's going to happen. For now he's got to be focusing on his career with the boy band. That's the opportunity that he Wants to pursue. He wants to go to BYU and he wants to go on a mission." Alex Murillo said his family, which includes his wife, Robin, and seven children, has adopted a Latin motto: "numquam cede," which means "never give up." He said Jared has particularly taken this to heart, and is willing to work for his dreams and goals. "Right now we'll see how far this takes him," Alex Murillo said. "This is once in a lifetime for young people." www.couarBsBue.i No reindeer to get them there No milk' n' cookies waiting on the stoop 06ff. All Porch Trees But they still keep showing up with your newspaper While Santa's For the First 100 Customers December. 24th 8-4p- ffimlL miiymiimriMihti am m Sprlngvlllo ONLY Name. Tip $ Phone SPRNGVIUE-94- ?90, tout (t-- (801) tom-Gp- m S. 0 otCnm 794-640- Mf 2000 ton) 0 10$m-4p- m got his feet up. Sit W. Comments to your carrier . 2aiUjHcrol& j Attn: Circulation ; P.O. Box 717 I ProvoUT 84603-071- 7 I |