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Show DAILY HERALD Sunday, December 9. 2007 C5 Girlfriend won't get Veal' wdth others Celebrations Carolyn: girlfriend loves Hi, Mycolumn. ;l I love my girlfriend. Sometimes, when we are out in a group or with my famgirlfriend's close-knily, I feel like my girlfriend m it acts fake. Attention-greed- goofy, childish. As the months have passed and the other parts of "us have grown and progressed, this thing has remained an issue. I'm sort of famously neurotic and am struggling to not react so badly to this. We go out, she does this act, 1 get so annoyed. She's like a different person when we are alone! I hate to hurt her feelings, and otherwise we are very in love. She gets very defensive and takes it as an attack on her character, says I don 't fully "accept her.'ldon't want her to CHANGE per se, but it drives me nuts. And frankly, it makes me less attracted to her to see her act like a with our friends. 1 want this to work with her, how do I get past this? How do I talk to her about this? She just becomes angry and says I am trying to control her. We've been talking engagement, and I want to figure this out before we move forward. Any ideas? Annoyed it I Powell, 70th Kern, Amarjargal Keith and Maxine Powell will celebrate their 70th Wedding Anniversary on Thursday. They were married in the Salt Lake Temple December 13, J937. They have lived in Lehi since their marriage. Keith retired from Geneva Steel after 30 years of service. Maxine was a stay at home mom influencing the lives of their 8 children - Gary (Laura) - both deceased, Antoine (Monna), Patricia (deceased) (Fred Broadbent), Dar-r(Claudia), Gordon (Stephaney), Max (Margaret), Codele (David Mr. J. Amarjargal and Mrs. G. OtgonjargaL from Mongolia, are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter Zoljargal Amarjargal to Michael Scott Kern, son of Jerome and Zona Kern from Orem, on Wednesday, December 12,2007. Zoljargal graduated from the University of Mongolia with a Bachelor degree in International Relations. She is currently attending Utah Valley State College to receive her Bachelors in Accounting. Michael earned his Associate Cutler), Reed (Kim). Keith and Maxine have served and Bachelor degrees at Utah in various callings in the LDS Valley State College. He is now Church. They supported 5 sons working at Walgreen Drug Store on missions and served a mission in Orem as a Pharmacy Technithemselves to Micronesia Guam in cian. 1982. They have 44 grandchildren The couple will make their first ( 18 of whom have served full time home in Orem. Missions thus far) and they have Friends and family, if in our 79 excitement we have misplaced (1 currently serving a Mission). On their your formal invitation, please return from their Mission, they forgive us and help celebrate with served as Ordinance Workers them at a reception in their honor at the Provo Temple for 8 years. Wednesday evening from 6O0 to at the Ron and Maureen HatThey have traveled to 12 countries and have seen the highlights of 31 field home, 110 South Main Street in Lindon. states in the United States. Family and Friends are invjted to an Open House on Saturday, December 15th at the Lehi First Ward Building, 220 W. 200 S. from 2:004:00 P.M. Only your 'presence' is desired. Gordon, Clover Kukahiko, Squires Mr. and Mrs. Steven Squires of Las Vegas, Nevada announce the marriage of their daughter Valerie Anne to Tyler Perry Kukahiko, son of Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Kukahiko, of Orem, Utah, on December 1st, 2007 in the Las Vegas LDS Temple. A luncheon and dinner were held at the J.W. Marriott Resort in Las Vegas, Nevada. A reception Open House will be 0 held December 15th from p.m. at Riverside Country Club in Provo, Utah. Valerie is a graduate of Brigham Young University in Landscape Management and is currently employed at Sign City in Lindon, Utah. Tyler is a graduate of Brigham Young University in Communications. He served an LDS mission to Leeds, England and is currently employed at Mountain Vista Homes in Draper, Utah. After their honeymoon to Hawaii Tyler and Valerie will make their home in Pleasant Grove, Utah. Sheldon and Alys Gordon are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter Cassandra to Christopher James Clover, son of James and Ann Clover on Wednesday, December 12, 2007. A reception will be held in their 0 honor that evening from p.m. in the Chillon Center, 710 E. Center, Spanish Fork, UT. If we have forgotten you, please come. 7:00-9:0- 7:00-9:0- None you want to hear, but few people need help seeing what they want to see. Your girlfriend's actions aren't "fake"; awkward, maybut not be, umatural-seeminfake. I don't know her motivation, but what you describe is the behavior of someone uncomfortable in crowds. She is "different" with you alone, the theory goes, because she's not with you. She's comfortable. The common mistake here is to see comfort as her "real" self and awkwardness as the "fake" one. Most of us make that mistake about ourselves. But the truth is, your "real" that's typical What to do with boyfriends and guy friends have d boyfriend, but I also Dear Seventeen Why do you think you need to be on the birth control pill, Emily? Is it because your my boyTeen Advice friends are? Are you planning friend about him, or just keep him a secret? to have sex? Or is there a mediNatalie, 19, cal issue you think you can f be Clarksdale, Miss and we applaud you we with it? If it's a medical issue, like acne, make sure to talk to OK, quick question for you: propose the following: ApDo you have romantic feelings proach your mom and calmly your doctor first. There might be a better alternative than the for this "guy friend"? If not, ask her why she doesn't want there's nothing wrong with you to drive. Chances are she's pill, which is worth exploring if worried about your safety you're not planning on having your friendship; guy friends she might trust you but not sex anytime soon. The pill is are fun and usually of fer difa serious prescription that referent points of view than the other drivers on the road. If that's the case, remind your quires commitment; you'll need your girlfriends do. So tell to follow the instructions very your boyfriend about him. (If mom that neither of you will carefully. Be certain you're you think everyone would get ever have control over other getting on it for the right reaalong, maybe the three of you drivers whether you're 16 son. But whatever your reacould even hang out together.) or 60! Also say that the best But if.you like this guy as either of you can do when beson, it's important to try talkor if you hind the wheel is pay attention ing to your mom. Say somemore than a friend and make wise decisions. Then thing like, "Mom, I've been know he likes you and you wanting to go on birth control 'keep him around because you propose a compromise. Offer because of (your explanation to chauffeur her for a little enjoy his attention or flattery then it's not cool to hang while, so that she can see firsthere), and I was hoping you hand what a smart driver you out with him in secret. Think are. That way, you can also get about it: How would you feel extra practice with an adult in if you found out your boythe car. For all you know, your friend was hanging out with mom could just need a little exanother girl he had feelings tra "transition time" before the for? Before you try to be honAN INDISPUTABLY est with your boyfriend, be daughter she raised so well hits GREAT MOVIE. the road on her owa honest with yourself. And reA NEW CAREER PEAK FOR member: While it's normal to THE C0EN BROTHERS." I want to ask my mother like two guys at once, it's not - m mm muoh ma on to be me let mislead one birth either fair to control, (or but I'm afraid she'll think I'm both of them!), or to do somehaving sex. But I'm still a thing that you know could Emhurt someone you care about. virgin! Should I ask? ily, 15, Anchorage, Alaska I'm an honor student and involved in my community. FESTIVALCINEMAS Basically, I'm a good person. "A t MOIIIItl The trouble is, I just got my driver's license, and my mom AttOSS THI HNIVUSi(PG13 2:00 NOW FLAYING! c doesn't want me to drive. 4:30 7:00 JLMUAKH DUMMIM SAM She freaks out every time I (PC) 3) 3:30 7:30 ask to drive alone. How can Pf MARTIAN CHIIO(PG) 1:20 5:20 1 prove to her that I'm ready STMDUST(PG13) 1:50 4:40 7:10 Claire, for independence? lOUINi UUllUTtM(PG) 1:55 4:30 7:00 N.H. 17, Manchester, have a guy friend on the I side. Should I tell Carolyn Hax Tell Me About It If that's what you want to do, then maybe this will help: I suspect it's a trait you have in common. While you may just find adult annoying, a sentence of yours got my attention: "It makes me less attracted to her to see her with our act like a friends." I get a whiff of a guy who's embarrassed by his girlfriend's behavior, for the way she reflects on him. It is just a hunch, but maybe it's grounds for a more forgiving perspective on her antics, if too. you're And if I'm way off, then try this: Does she relax as she acclimates to situations, like bringing you home to her family? You could find acceptance in a combination of patience from you, honesty from her about her social preferences, and a joint effort by you both to find ways to circulate that make you both happy. That would require a conversation with her, though, and for that she needs to feel safe in other words, your message needs to be that she isn't doing anything wrong by being herself. It may not be for you, but that doesn't make it wrong. So, both approaches hinge on your acceptance that she is who she is. That means it's time for an honest reckoning with yourself, on whether you can ever love the whole thing. ve Carolyn at tellme girlfriend both relaxes around washpost.com or chat online with her each Friday you and tenses up in groups. So she's right you don't ac- at noon Eastern time, at cept her fully. www.washingtonpost.com. could come to the doctor with me to get it." That said, you don't legally have to involve her; you can get birth control through Planned Parenthood (plannedparenthood.org) or through your doctor without permissioa Still, if you're close enough with your mom that you're even thinking about filling her in on your feelings, we say you risk some awkwardness now and talk to her. www.couaarblue.com Questions may be sent directly to Seventeen magazine at: dearseventeenhearst.com. Seventeen is today's best-sellimagazine for young women, reaching more than 13 million readers every month. 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