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Show Tuesday, May 8, REXEE C. NELSON Herald Today Editor It is hard to believe that Erma Bombece could cause a furor, but she has indeed done it unwittingly. Usually a picture J runs with her column, but because of space, no picture ran with Friday's column. If a picture doesn't run, then her name is on the column, or in a kicker. Somehow this too was omitted. How unfortunate. Most people are aware that Erma Bombeck is one of those hallowed people who can make fun of anything and it will all be taken in good humor. But when her name isn't on it and it appears to be the opinion of someone in the Today Section, it loses all its humor. It just isn't funny. As one former nurse pointed out, "I have spent all my life working with the elderly trying to encourage them to keep busy and active by working with their hands crocheting, knitting etc. Then this article comes out and destroys it all." Enclosed is the article the full uncut version: By ERMA BOMBECK I turned the page of a lead- ing magazine recently and my heart skipped a beat. There in full glorious buttercup yellow were 12 crocheted pieces for your bathroom. There was a crocheted cover for the toilet seat and the - is Erma Bombeck The last time I walked the beach with her, she only slime who doesn't deserve to be remembered in such a personal way. Don't you think I know that and feel rotten enough about it? It's just that I have a whole house full of gifts from Aunt Mae's heart already. Aunt Mae leaves nothing undressed. There is a Mexican serape and hat over my tabasco sauce. Every bottle on our bar is dressed like a poodle. There's a costume for every doorknob for every season beginning with a crocheted Vale-tin- e and ending with a Santa Claus. There are cocheted coasters, afghans, pillows, tablecloths, chairback bookmarks, tank, a contour rug, an oval rug for use in front of the bowl, a cover for the toilet for the tissue and a shower curtain. There were tie-bac- k also crocheted covers for the bar of soap, the nose tissue, cleanser can, facial tissue and a little hat to decorate the doilies, wall. I pray my Aunt Mae will not read the article and crochet herself blind by next Christmas. Don't bother to write and tell me that gifts made from the heart are the most beautiful gifts one can receive or that I am a pile of worthless phone book. Poor Aunt Mae succumbed to the talents of her nimble fingers years ago. And who among us has not at one time or another nearly drowned in our handiwork? With me, it was a knitting class I joined back in 1973. By 1974, everyone who nodded to me within a radius had a pair of 200-mi- le knitted bed- room slippers. I was a woman possessed. it was With my sister-in-laseashells. She moved to a Florida beach a couple of years ago and worked the beach like a mine sweeper. Shells became her life. Christ- mas ornaments, lamps. a angle to losing weight reward system. If you have more than 15 pounds to lose, it suggests, you could spoil your whole diet plan by getting discouraged. The easiest way is to give yourself little diet gifts every five pounds or so. The gifts should be something to change mirrors, compliments coming from friends will do the rest. 1 This was the Bombeck column that caused the furor. Somehow when you read it and know it is by Erma Bombeck, it seems less objectionable. While she laughs at people's foibles, in reality she wishes no harm to anyone, and reading her more deeply, one even perceives a warm heart beneath her sometimes searing wit. Though she corners in on Aunt Mae, even young people can fall into the handiwork trap; it isn't a disease solely comfined to the elderly. Many young people have handiwork skills and enjoy making something special for those they care for. And generwith the excepally everyone tion of Erma appreciates handmade items that have exhibited this care. Like many of Bombeck s columns this one was rampant with exaggeration and satire. Taken in this vein it is much more palatable to the reader. placemats, and a cover for the 13 your look: a new hairstyle, a new color makeup look, a new pair of shoes, a new scarf or hat. When you've dropped enough to fit into a size smaller, buy that dress. all the But just remember way down the poundage line keep your morale high. The The authors of NEA Beauty Tips have come up with a new picked up two shells, thought about it, then discarded one. She's recovering. They tell me amateur painters are the same wsy. At first, they fill up their own walls with their talents. Then when they run out of space, they start passing out their paintings like senior class pictures. I know Aunt Mae will read this. I will understand if she crochets me a noose. ..in buttercup yellow. sachet holders, lampshades, - Page Give Yourself a Reward With Each Weight Loss No C rocheted Coasters for Erma By THE HERALD. Provo, Utah, 1984 u STOUT 5HOPPE fashion specialists in sizes 16Vi to 32V, and 18 to 52 REMEMBER MOM MAY 13th v$ mi s. 1111 y j Sophisticated chemise, a great value... in sizes The 16V, to 26 V, shape you'll love for daytime to evening. Gentle pleats wtih a soft bow at the Miss Provo Pageant Club Notes Is of the main events con- nected with Provo's July 4th Freedom Festival is the Miss Provo Scholarship Pageant this year on June 30 at 7:30 p.m. Almost every teenage girl in Provo dreams of being chosen to reign over this exciting week-lon- g celebration. The past few years, Provo's queen has gone on to win either Miss Utah or an attendant to her. The current Miss Utah is Lynn Lambert who was Miss Provo, 1982. Miss Cindy Quinn, Utah's 1982 queen was also a Miss Provo in 1981, with Provo's Michelle Smoot as first attendant. Any young woman between the age of 17 and 25, whose parents have lived in Provo one year or longer, and who is not and has not been married is eligible to enter. The Miss Provo Scholarship Pageant is a preliminary to the Miss America Pageant and must abide by its rules. It is not just a beauty contest, but focuses on scholarships for young talented women to further their education and development of their talent. 25 Ust your Catherine's Chug. Vis, American Express or MasterCard. FINE ARTS CLUB Part of Freedom Festival One yoke, in washable, wearable aqua polyester. Will meet Thursday at noon at Riverside Country Club. IN THE NEW NORTH Mon.-Fri- ., WING OF THE UNIVERSITY 10-- Any young woman interested may pick up an entry blank from Provo Chamber of Commerce or Mrs. Ann call either Seamons or Mrs. LaMon Ashman. On May 19 there will be a contestant's tea to introduce Saturday 9; 224-840- MALL, OREM 10-- 6 6 1 tP ) We Save You Moire mm Than Time board members and begin workshops. Each area of the pageant will be covered from interviews to makeup and wardrobe. Deadline for entering the contest is May 15, so entry blanks should be picked up this week and returned to the Chamber. 1. . 3 May11' 7-U- iili T5) IS snort on & P DIET 7-- UP 99 6 pak, 12 oz. cans Meadow Gold 2 MILK $ 1 69 Gallon Holland ICE CREAM I BERNINA fi G ICE CREAM I SANDWICH -- Uoi U S 12 Gallon or Casa Buena BREAKFAST BURRITOS 1 1 4.25 oz. Everyday Low Price!!! ffcV 29 C Fresh HOT DOGS 4n 00 CHALET MM1 268 West Center, Provo. Phone Alto in Price: 374-552- 1 1 0 83 E. Main University Mall, Orem, Phone 225-221- 6 and Delta: 256 W. main PRICES EFFECTIVE THRU MAY 31, 1984 AT PARTICIPATING STORES IN PROVO METRO. TMt southland corpokatio |
