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Show PROVO EVENING HERALD, SUNDAY, JULY 8, 1928 PAGE TWO ! OUT OUR WAY THESH By Williamg WPULDN'TIT Published by the.'Herald, Corporation, E. C Rodger, president, at matter Jst W.4 StTProvo, Uta,dally? Entered aa second-clas- s at thepo8tof flee in; Provo, Utah. Member of the United PreifTlMO-olatioNEA gervlca, Paine Editorial Service, and the Jamea G. ' """ Scripps Newspapers. .... 1Alv j. ABoof ., WW44e44Hi ' v. I . Q) So. Cir- EM OFF -- lKfc:t HE.RS 'LDOlE WELL, ALWAYS,) A JOKe 7 A- HULL CROWD' tU HRFmakj Oct i ( VMHO OtOMT u' n, DIFFERENT Business office, 95; Society reporter, 107j Editorial room, 1208. ,. If you do not receive your paper before (p. m. telephone 95 and a copy will bdellvered to .your residence, , -- Telephonea Subscription terms By carrier in the county, the year in advance; by mall In tba.county, $5.00 $500... ; , , . (Hill Billy's views, In hls4aily stories, are his own. They do not, necessa rily, coincide wltfTThose of this newspaper. EDITOR.) j - - cents the month; 45 HO jPuUlds. county, -- BVT -- A TrA-F- KJOW, V. KW UN nun teXl AW ""Ttv COW? HE.E.-H- te "AM-A- - w II II MEE-TltslGf-- S. - a- id II - II..- IV... - . 'Foreffective human up op up' rMfci yU' TnS - II 11J.-- . notion. , hard-boile- tennis net just where lands. Say, instead of regarding this as world .instead a God-ma- J age read last night that . Bryant, wrote "Thanatopsis," and snow she towrote "Hali wants know who ::'4"1 . . tosis." am CulleX . What's in a name? - Tom Sinner always was fined $200 for breaking the dry ' law in Egg Harbor,' N.-J- . ' r " mah-mad- tell ; us whether .it is considered . good form to keep the mash in the : -". : bathtub, SOCIETY NOTE. S V, Hi Joe McOoof who re ' '" V , cently invested all his Provo in a House: SIga Lodging money on Wall Street : : on a margin, r PLEASE DO NOT.RINO OUB has returned to Provo BELL SALOON IS NEXT 4 - and will bo' a guest of j J LDOOR. the Community ' Fund ' the coming during 4c winter. . Carve this upon Some people have to buy auto My graveyard stone:; crosslle ne'er tuned in parts; others live near" grade - Oh a party phone!" . ings. -- ' l': y ; Mark.-JHanna,- . - '&CoQ' P -- ; . -- - "L e ? SBmset me. . m l . Dlt'Srccd are Mr. and Mrs. Sheddf " June brides, who are lonely when "Ono bath a year's., enough," he hubby- is at the office, can spend Said. 1: .... - 1 1 V i,n maby- pleasant hours atAjiome, Thstwa-perifMifiiifo TOtching.. their, wedding ring io aea when he knows nothing at all about how scon it will turn green. women are: (1) Before he is marsc sc sfc j)c ried, and (2) after .he is married. o- They re Swiftest Swimmers v e, ..:. . . 1 PAINFUL on HUTS HYMN OF HATE . A girl I hate Is 6 w- ' ' it M t ' 1 f ' .W - 'Z; Ireland's newspapers serious-injury- W ' ATURKI.AND N . . " . , ., .. . - 6. 4 applaud Smith's nomination. Well, George H. Corson.' tl?e game the? British press applauded Hoover's; and so, its horsejand breeder,' once received an old palrbf .Canadian geese froiii I ,. .. .. :ye .horse.;.Jack "Miner, the "bird .wizard of .... - 8 I J were both Klngsvtlle Ontario. 1 A Portland, Ore., woman has made a record of 94 out quite small for their,They rare and for that reason Miner' considered them M ? Possible 100, with a revolver. You don't find the news- - an odlty. Corson gavn the" rti4paper loaded up with' proposals of marriage to a record-pe- s nesting place and every spring the brerier oft that, 8ort.v!f5i ; ;f jroosc- would lay just uix egs ami natcn out six goslings. Th mnthpv and thegander sc Fisherman Coolidge is astonishing Wisconsin natives by was no careful I "of Tiawks, owls and other i. n t wearing a nat. vveH, a ienow' can oait' in sucn tTyRtchful carry vermin that they never failed te vt a hat, pr, whip mosquitoes .vith.it. J . " ' i .1 : raise 'tHe whole brood to adults,- at pui which time the latter were twice ' as big as their parents. Navy Base Boss j r.-- t . '.IZiS ; . ,- ' i i ' ' ' y . - - fire-escap- x car. Igloos. Today she is ' so wealthy" she owns The chief advantage of an eleca whole school of 14- - tric refrigerator, as Abagail Apple-sauc- e i v: ' . ' ,' - - - ijl.w ---- : , -j.- lu-ga- THE OBSERVER 'This Date in Our; j; It". said that there is no finer than that of the huge American History fur ox. musk of tho Arctic region. Real1c - a - 1 ising the Important future of fur farming, the Canadian" government J "--. July :T has sent a commission to the Arctic 1640 ,Irovldence, R. I had a gov''Barren Lands" to study the musk ernment formed by 40 citizens. ox and decide bn tho feasibility ol 1865 Four of the Lincoln plotters establishing a refuge for them and . "were hanged. protecting them from the wolves 1884 Greeley arctic e,xpedltlon surExperts say that Montana, the Newfoundland. reached vivors and Minnesota' would be ideal ' 1898 Hawaii annexed. locations for musk ox farming. . 1912 Call Issued for Progressive convention at Chicago, Aug' ust 5;' . ' This Niche of Nonsense has had indignant letters from several custc. Dor-L- tt !jj . mei g protesting wgsinst TTr an's statement that it's nU richt fer for white collar guys r- - and the have booze.,'" hj weaithy---tDUt hBt th overalls battalion io' must be kept chemically pure and 9 ( ,Qi efficiently sober, - but-a- s r a white collar guy who la used to' have callouses on his mitfs YOUR ENGLISH we have been unable to work up lQ -In the a covcrfrom" more about the than glow disappointment gentle jjjj ' ' . the Jong run'. d thing DON'T SAY "I begun work yesana our oniy comment up to and they can as Dr. Dorart ban out fill their bathtubs wltc terday." i "I begun" is correct. npw has been "What of It?" pointed PRONOUNCE "malaria" as if lr,1 " 1! SC gin and' bathe therein if they v spelled with stress on was in the for desire Prohibition, put a ' ' "ia." It is not as a :'. Amcr of express purpose making opines'. human machine more Efficient Wicn It ;sn't the farmer (which reader tt ica's . DO NT USE "have sang" when and that's why the Rockefellers it generally Is) It's the poor workko you mean "have suhg." that somebody's upllftinp; Ih and the Morgans are so hot for it ingman ADAGE popularly used but often " the workman or the white-cthis sort of thing has bern r ig,'.lar chap, on for centurlts-4- ut all the misquoted "With books for friendsfor that matter who getswas "Choose an author as you tlie 'working-maaei pleasantly lit and thus is enabled advance made by and the farmers have' been Choose a friend." as Wentworlh tq ignore, a few hours of the dreajv Dillon wrote it,in his essay on In L , iui VplttCof the reiuuiuy we cau- me isn i au.r made' by them "Translated Verse." bit to make as niany- bricks the next formers and not because the re' , formers ever did anything except . ' : e' cay v . or he addip a column of fig- talk' i H. ures and misses perfection by $2.87 listen: The sooner us work- YOUR ENGLISH And, ' . Don't say; "Did you ever met--t ing fellows realize that We're here lit in the total and thus business' slows dowr. to produce and take orders about her?" "Have you ever met her' is fw :' and profits slide into the red , what we'll eat and drink and not correct ? tci have radicaTideas about our. rights Pronounce "finesse" as If spelled ou If we were a capitalist and had the better it'll be for us. with stress on "nes" anbs " 1Q0O men turning out profits for - " swering: a questionerI we wouia tnsist on tnoir soDrloty D6n use mean you ''wU",vhen rT; -"beautiful" or "becoming"; n ""o "thai we could tnake as much; " f Ttrrtfit a nAaalhlA Adage popularly used but often ' ia order to' keep the. steam Funl misquoted: "Hope is misery's best P. : medicine" was "The miserable have yacht In commission and the prop-- i er number of in "My dear, a great physician Bays no other medicine, but only "hope," -- than as provide the Gift with heri women require more wrote IV in ."Meassleep ' v ..: ' .... men." , ure For Measure." ' quota of diamond necklaces, . ' ' ,- 'and to do this we'd be willing "Oh?""" f ': to give a few thousand dollars' "Yes, my dear, so-you'd perhaps that We'd ' taken in profit from better not wait up lor me tonight." n and ttto .people give working f OF TONGUE ! HIS SECOND league crusaders to buy . , rwith and' intimidate "I'm tie, legislatures, going to send out an an- r , .' nouncement of my second marriage. Michel EdsonJ19, New'York-to-SaH' congrjossmen "f 4 .... How do. you suggest that word Francisco hiker:. 'A11 Nina H Butnot being a capitalist and Mitchell and I acquired on the long therefore "comparatively happy.. "Just say: Under entirely new hike was sunburn and a Jot of exi , we are all for the workingman -- management." French Humor. perience." We have done more hik r ana toe wniie-couaoiro oeing al In San Francisco looking for job ing lowed- to attain a state of complete man we did crossnig the continent. faithful' maid at appropriate intervals inebriety "Bridget, do you know anything We made the trip In two weeks be' we" are aware that this may concerning . my wife's where- cause motorists, especially fat motforce a few millionaires to leave off abouts ?" just couldn't bear to see two th golf leaf onthe new marble i. "Yes, air, I put them In the wash." orists, ypung girls hiking along the high- bathtub but theyil probably re-- J iz Washington Ghost .waya," a, t - . Isjt "ma-la-rl-- ' '.. ,f - .. ", . aW-- - ' Art Shannon. First classr sheep consisting of 500 acres lambing ground, acres fine summer range, joining forest; oiIy six miles from lambing grounds to summer range. This range with special 7000 head. "on north slope of privileges Uintah' mountains oh Black Fork, short distance to railroad. r r Only. $4.75 per acre. Terms. 8000 '' - "''" .... Ring bell for janitor. aimuuiijjciiieiit " iV can--' re- country needs Is some j What Bythis, means which office boys can be jnoculated yirith soma virulent form of insomnia during working hourj. "" .7 . 220-ya- rd SSO-yar- -- sees it, is thadoesn't-track-- linoleum;- - ' ' jlr1. Rear Admiral Louis R. De Mteiguer, former Commander-in-Chie- f of the U. S. battle fieet, has been made commandant.ofJJje.Xfew York Navy Rear Admiral Yard, succeeding Charles P. Plunkett, retired. De Steiguer received the Distinguished Service Medal in the World War when he commanded the battleship Arkansas. " . -- fiulet Cfean DOWN' . - acres xanch with summer 'range adjoining on Uintah mountains. Only short distance to winter range.. Close to railroad. This range will take care of 2000 ewes and lambs. Only $15,000, on' easy terms. 275. . Instantaneous I Economical "X .More good ranges to offer you. - , : Opposes Smith n . '..; ' Family Fireside Call at-- our office. ; Shaj-espear- East Center SC 3 V I SELF-ACTIO- 5 V : x V ...V .... Y " : V e - . , MSEDleAlI HEATER J927 OLDSMOBILE, new rubber Even TemperedHot VVater Answers Your Summons J 1 1 1 sedan, $7757 r Si Rex enclosures, new paint, good rubber, excellent condition. Airrt U A real buy v vrrrrr: vrrr rr . . 'f. , . , . . t " LIGHT SIX Rex enclosures i4 V n or BU1CK MASTER 'At Eyery Faucet MorningNoon Or Night er im GAS WATER N This Gas Fired Water Heater Will See To ItTnat , ' ... ' ' , Go. V Daybell Livestock 73 Rolls-Royc- model. : - yZOU . FORD TOURING '24 model .;..$65 . t- 1 . "fi-ne- s" Anti-Saloo- ft Dusrable "''WE - y i g ol , imer is one "who' Pretty little" Lisa Llndstrom Is oniy 10, but she's the world's fastest wom an swimmer in the backstroke'cla?sie." Lisa As pictured above poised on the edge of the pool at Rockaway Beach, N. Y.,"tfhere the women's national A. A.-championships" were heldr Here the 'New York girl established two world records. Inset is J6sephine MdKim, of and the Homestead, Pa., who broke two records 1n the . free style events. - . - . old-- t Da-kot- '" o ... An member theHays when Mr. Cox, the truant officer, was the terror of all hookey-player- s in Provo. 44; I lor k self-start- er cream freezers. ' It And It result, of mud. across one's kitchen one brilliant idea, . She invented and marketed j By Jim Marshall LXaUwas tallgoldfish. the H . A - - evenlag Am .i'v, VS ' mat--e- .. Hoecake, a handsome gowit may . be sfe -- ' f " - ' few raffles to the bottom of a flap, pors' swimming suit Old typewriter ribbons be substituted for the may England is now putting out t automobile. If you got straps over itthe shoulders. . in front of nr, A these smnH cars The trouble with Li'l Gee Gee Is it won't strike you It will sting you. that her tongue is always in high ' gear, but her brain never sparks. LOCAL GIRL MAKES GOOD IN RIG WAT! Five years ago Miss IriTasy enough to be pleasant When there's nothing one's pleasure ; Tesslc Talcum was to mar yr " just A pamr business But the man worth while Is man the to sell who can smile giri trying' for Eskimo When, his wife busts his super-cl- ss-"n-ed to write her marriage memoirs, which - Pegjry Joyce is. iplt howl with misery.-several busbands make .y::"-will Tty. 3jt ! I remember, f rememler, (Odays of cotton sox!) When wo listened to the tinkle Of a tinkly music box!. " Observations di ''- ' tolled. 1 : - LH Gee Gee's sweetie calls her a silent belle. He says he kissed her the. other night, and she never '; '. Hettle Hoecake. fashion editor of the Provocation Publications. ' ? If the- - suit- is too large to be stored In a capsule," MU Hoecake adds,-"i- t may be kept in a small pill boi" According to Mis yoa think every girl you meet is crazy about you butl'm here tec tell yoa that you .don't make any hit with me if I never see you again it will be soon raough o put that in your pipe and smoke it Mr, Smarty." ' ed .' 34-- sultSvS-aaya-- Luth-etvKno- ; " pers' bathing e 1 , Liirie-Bli8st- - j 1 HOrSEHOLD HINTS 'J "Empty quinine" capsules make She likeis to imnd excellent chests for storing flap A line like thi-- "I. thought you'd be different but - Pt ., - "' I up-th- at's 8v - " GIRL SUFFERS - 17 - .. t; s An Oasis Calvin , . : nt . " ' - - .bant,. f Goodbye, 'and take care of your -. ' cold! I - IX - Women go to the theatre to see And when 'I die, let this bn said: what the actresses have on. Men He never called friend 'Old Egg!' : . gds to see what they have left off. We wish books Df etiquet would! T Before, Not After j 'Was due to shunning drink I - ball Lo 1 n.-. sldcrlng this utility as a curse handed by some beeg feller, way out ; there l' suppose we cheerfully, admit ;Li i e v N0t Bianv laurel wreaths for hierh class, philosophy would that this is a world, and k s we are finally responsible for that advanced-thwho man of propthe simple ej adorn the brow Line fiad situation-i- n which most of door before JthS 3is qiscover curatives, da osltion that it is better to padlock, the barn -Do jrou not perceive how immedi iy w horse, as. stolen than afterwards -- &tllU, we Ahave anTaugqa, that would change some very - 40 ately VU rr iPJi WWilU;i HvA UlULUYUig Vrf rw.tMVM- fund amejItaLhumaa-nouonatwyjWtVi -arge-nf4noneSMn behalf rcffesidentiaJ Tcaaidi, Mf l ani the net ?.residue of my ur2 I no but is iloubt there dates jniUiona of ;doJlar& will he ancestors, and I am the sort or a t and, rhf ; a t spent, this summer and fall, in behajtf of both- national ticket. poor' prune I- kriow- myself to' be. It Is about time that. I began to then u at . ; "to say that whatever the Senate; investigatof Ket busy ; it ig safe on my children and se to have TOcoverefToFwill uncover wuTibave . effect whoever it that they are more glnerou important more t kindly, more ia a upon ,the election in November. it, is JpPt Yery, but-whnd and 'contented than I am: If I can't art ii to know how the money was or will blame it onto 'Adam; if I can't nw for whose purposeat-The-iion- r ; loyal, toxins.! fchove 'my burdens ovef onto the Itde 4 O. I), policies, frankly 'sandbagged WaU't?- - iand the-fg- rq C. orts Lord; If I, and my ancestors," and detertny ..dcscendants'a'bbslutel mine Avjiether of no. this world is got it. It would be highly instructive wd have a decided heaVen o,a)id hell, then it is about time rii effct upon final results, could puWicitytbMurnedjppott h for me toortake life Very seriously. own the big gums for their And to go out and do something ih interests, which will contribute is,, publicity before about It. . ; .' aaH purposes in the present campaign-U-th- at taus.wT.orr. A CQKlYlMUE-I know .ithjsJsjaiwelrd ..'noUoni. rfnrk thQ horse is stolen,, 'figuratively speaking. ' ' ' it ree , .. r it is against ail priest-crafverses all our youthful notions LLj r A about personal responsibility make a deathbed., confession and go to W- Hoover, His reported, combats the proposition that Cool- - heaven that was the Idea of would be' in the It take the "undignicampaign. idge stump the first Christian emper-drl- i Calles-Obregthelie absolutely 'refused to ouit fied," "not customary," too much like L i his sins until he. was ready to croak; Mex, Proceeding, etc., etc.: - , r. Ill'De, u0 ne waniea to get a straight path tostill,, one can vision wnat a messing uuvin wouia the gates any nosaia national yearning would be satis-- J bijitypearly P6' he stumped right. Four Provo peopie narrowly' esof the devil jumping . caped death and one was ' seriously fied, if, in the midst of the monotonous spellbinding, Calvin nistory, unfortunately. ; But If Constantine .had realized Injured early Saturday morning tei should taboo mixed up political issues and stump with a God was upon when their, car failed to makej j, w, I rattling good fish story ; or, a cheery description of happi-j- 1 that shaxpturn wirrhr traveling from politics; had he undersioedJthat-fo- r to Provo on the state neas in being free sfrom politics and the, eyejlasting-VVas- hi eveiy deEcTthefe is an accounting; Salt Lake The' auto turned over in of vhaving had he realized that because of hts highway. it J ington- - grind ' his tribe would perish, a ditch. tic one's own homevand fireside untramped by" the feet of indecencies M S3 Belva Harrott, Id. of West and his name become a hissing somebody or'other who wants something Maybe it wouldn't rather-than- a sweet song on- the Drive suffered a fractured arm and be dignified or customary ; but, it ure would be a cool, purl-e- n tongues of men, I imagine Constan- lacerations about the head and . She was rUshed'-tothing brook" of fresh "water in a desert surcharged With" dry tino would have acted a bit differ- shoulders. Salt Lake county hospital, where ently. ! wind. the Put hot and monotonyretiring, happy president treatment and was ion 0rr the stump, for such purpose, and whole states would have ' This dictum also applies to -- to, hoc home brought Saturday Berlc Henry Bishop yill, ' ; e Topdfrto'controTthirbwdri'tive ley and several dosen more "ser- night. The was machine driven by Philvants of God" who might be menai ip S. Snow, 23. of 367 South Sevtioned. , m . enth East street. The others In the As Thoreau saidonhlsJdeathbed: d l car were. Phillis Adams, of 689 "One world it a time?! ! two miracle A hours Young Johnny .Coolidge spent krrl Fourth South street, and Harry '.ee-- riding about Chicago, in a taxi, and wasn't machine-gunneDuke, of' nil East Second South r '.Her Btrcet. All. but Miss Marrott -- the trouble hat they put the Gee Gee says wftl d . ' 'U'l . t t5ay this-- for He Was an honest gink. He neveK. bragged that his great - - You dont Jhsve to be aiLorator's wife to know that- - many a wonderful after-dinnspeaker la a "misertalker. able bef " I service sup- pose' we - take a very N. Gupnar Ra'smusonJ editor and nianagerR.JGoclltpanajrJng editor; N. C. Hicks, county editor; J. A. Owens, advertising manager. : (Copyright, 1928) Howdy, folks! The first of tho month, bills due, and not a cent In the old sock under, the mattress. THE PANIC IS ON! . .n , uNUiM'.i.n- vje, JoeT it- - - ci.o 'n U , PRO VOCATIONS : - J the i 1 - And $5.00 Fer EratrVVitJf GiTEni . '. Bishop James Cannon. Jr.. of mondi-Var-on- eof ha-leadine Rich- - jUTAir t figures in the fight' for a dry plank in the ccmocrntic platform, is to call conference of dry leaders between July IX and July 14 at Ashe- vuie, n. c. to plan a campaign against Al Smith. 1 t : : alley.vGAs; ;Xr & COKE CO. Spanish Jfork PrCVO ; Springyille OLDSCOUPompletelyveriiauled. at ,, , . , , , , ; M , , , , 77H .... A snap $CCn .... $0 JU UTAH MOTOR SALES . 440 West Center St.- UTAH -P- ROVO t ' i |