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Show Family Weekly April 28, 1968 How to Succeed in the noted humorist, Use their own weapons against them, says this get you quickly I'D better I can, because I know the word this to all as has gotten around. Rolls-Royce- ." eye-poppi- Somehow you people in the States have found that we Meads live on the same hill as the Beatles John and Ringo to be exact and this hill is miles from swinging: Lonabout 20 "mini-age" was born. where tha don, The letters already are beginning to come in. Now some of the letters just want a leaf from John Lennon's tree and I can tell you now that it's stripped bare to about nine feet, which is as high as a teen-ag- e girl in a nylon parka can shoulders. reach, standing on her But the letters that began to worry me came from other middle-age- d characters like me, and will asked: "What happen to ? Is it posthey after you're sible to succeed in the mini-ag- e 60?" Or even, some asked, after you're 30? Before I could answer those, the really worried ones asked: "Is it possible to survive!" Well, we're the test case. We're living right in the eye of the storm. We're in the front lines where the shooting is. And the answer is yes, you can survive. You can even succeed, but it's tricky. The proof is that we've survived a couple of years of mini-timright here in and that's equal to about 20 years in most places. Hang on now; don't worry about me shaking. is everywhere. Around these parts, Late the other night, driving home from London, my "Tife and I saw a terrible writhing yellow shape lurch out of the fog. Annabelle screamed, "Help! It's moving! It's alive!" rain-swe- "Easy, easy," I said, "it's just Lennon in his And there's nothing psychedelic mini about that. It's covered from bumper to pipe with an squiggling, pumpkin-colore- d nightmare. And on the way to our garage we had to flush d out of our rhoa covey of dodendrons. They thought they were on sacred Beatle ground and were looking for anthing they could drag home and press between comic books. It was a good thing I didn't have that kind of haircut. They'd have snatched me You can't even get a grip on a crew-cu- t like mine, and I'm keeping it like that. "No, no," I told the girls, "that way!" And for John's sake I pointed west instead of south. too, and he They'd snatch him wouldn't like it any more than I would. They're isn't their fault, and if good lads. The mini-ag- e some as started it, they say, they didn't uean to. ? Exactly what, you may ask, it the At a time when people are getting bigger, why are things getting smaller? Why are more and more girls appearing in less and less clothing? I'm not objecting, mind you, just asking. My daughter, who is nea.ly six feet tall and wears skirts that are about six inches long, arrived the other day from Sussex University with five friends in a mini-ca- r that you could park in the trunk of a Chevrolet. How did they all get in? And why? My son, when he's not in his boarding-schouniform, runs about in a military cape and a red, cavalry tunic that must have been used in "The Charge of the Light Brigade." pt girl-frien- mini-plac- e, e, mini-man- ia Family Weekly, April S8, 1968 irini-skirte- teen-age- rs bald-heade- bald-heade- d, mini-age- ol gold-braid- ed d. Is it possibly Maybe I'm seeing so many big girls because they're all we have left over here. The British are sending the over to you. Ever since Twiggy went over there, the sales of mini-car- s have zoomed. Nobody knows if there's any connection. Do you stateside Americans think Twiggy means we're all starving over here? The most publicized charity in England is OXFAM, a. Oxford society for famine relief. This doesn't feed starving Britons, as many visiting Americans believe. It's for relief abroad. But the local wags are wearing buttons that read : "Forget OXFAM ! Feed Twiggy!" On my way to Piccadilly the other day I stumbled into Carnaby Street, where the buy their gear or clothes. I was wearing my gear, a navy-blu- e blazer, shirt, tie, and gray slacks. Two quite g fellows in purple and caftans with gold strings of temple bells around their necks and flowers in their shoulder-lengt- h hair caught sight of me .m! said, "Look at the old boy! Must be an eccentric!" In case you don't know what a caftan is and didn't a month ago, until my daughter got one it's a long, flowing jacket which often has a Mao collar and is usually made of wildly flowered drapery fabric. It may be you, but it's not me. Not yet. My stateside operatives tell me that quite a bit of this has drifted across your way already. Well, it isn't over yet. You're in for a regular mini-mani- a? mini-gir- ls mini-mania- cs virile-lookin- Tse-Tu- ng of mini-skirt- s, mini-musi- c, mini-car- s, Don't flinch. Stand fast. We Meads are still holding out on mini-girl- s, and mini-brain- s. ILLUSTRATED IY JOHN HUHNEHGATH |