OCR Text |
Show "11.. ...! mwnjm (AnH tliMft'c 'nAAli ffltl tr never what I enjoy." A Detroit, Mich., machinist said his marriage was tottering, because he could no longer stand eating foods which his wife felt were "healthy." is common in these days of Her near-fanatici- sm health-consciousne- ss. Another common irritation is cooking large meals and hovering over hubby until he finishes wives," Dr. Harold every morsel. Kenneth Fink, a St. Petersburg, Fla., psychotherapist and marriage counselor- declares, "who really love their husbands and think they are doing what's best for them, may actually be doing harm instead. Many men simply don't want to be mothered. They're perfectly capable of deciding for themselves when they have had enough to eat." "Over-solicito- -- consin father claimed a deep chasm had been opened in his marriage because his wife expected of "the woman's work" around him to the home. Don't think this means just'doing dishes, hanging laundry or washing windows. Serious objections, include demands that husbands devote all their free time to the, children ("The minute I come home," one man complains, "I get the baby thrust into my arms for the rest of the evening."); calling the husband at the office with a long list of items to bring home; assigning a quota of "weekend chores" to fill his "free" hours. .: , , do-muc- ' us - "My wife expects me to do her Work as well as my own." J Here's a sore spot with many husbands. A Wis- LJ h . "My wife talks too much I'm trying to talk." ....- - - especially when This is particularly aggravating when the husband is trying to tell a joke and, in the minds of many , men, grounds for divorce when she beats him to the1 punch line. A more serious side of this, however, is the wife who criticizes her husband in front of friends, even if it's in a facetious way. Criticism may be no more than sayingf "George doesn't know which end of a screwdriver to use," but under certain circumstances that's all George needs to wish he had a gag for dear wifey. In public or private, many wives alienate mates by stating their opinions too bluntly and too often. An Illinois marriage consultant tells about the wife who thought her husband should know about his faults for his "own good." She" was painfully honest in her own mind in everybody else's, including her husband's, she was just a nagger, improving nobody but creating deep resentments. .Obviously, gossiping falls linder this heading. Gossiping, experts have learned, is a means, by which one human covers up his own faults by talking about another's. A husband senses this, and, his wife's faults are magnified in his mind each time she tears down another party.'- "My wife's q 'fusspot.' She keeps our home V like a hospital." In Cleveland, a young accountant explained to a psychologist that his marital troubles began when- - his wife wouldn't permit him to lounge in their impeccably kept living room. Marriage experts agree that women who are unwilling to settle for anything less than an immaculate home are heading for trouble. Clark W. Blackburn, general director of the Family Service Association of America, says: "Sometimes perfectionist wives virtually rope off living rooms, as in museums, full enjoyment of the home. A home preventing ' well-kept should be but, first and foremost, it should be lived in. Such a wife makes life unhappy for her. husband and children. The children can't rebel but the husband can and some-- "When it comes to preparing meals my wife doesn't know I exist.". , this category is that today's breadwinners must either make their own breaks fasts or catch them on the fly at the corner luncheonette. A recent survey indicated one-thi, of America's husbands eat their morning meal this No'. 1 complaint in rd . way. times does." . 'There's no finer way of starting the day than to Have breakfast with your mate," says Dr. Rebecca Iiswood, director of the Marriage Counseling Service of Greater New York. "Even if it's only a few minutes, that brief time together is warming and wonderful." Preparing meals for their children's palates rather than their husbands' is another complaint on this score. "At least let me nave my turn," comments the father of four girls in Delaware. And finally another "modern woe'V-servislenderizing meals to husbands who have no reason to be on diets. The lady of the house is the: one who wants to lose weight, but everybody suffers. "I can't tell you how many times I've slipped out of the house for a hamburger after one of her, dinners,'t"aswan young husband in Vicksburg, ng Miss., bemoans. "When the kids need a lecture or a spanking, I always have to be the ogre." Too many wives, experts assert, make Daddy the fall guy in child discipline because they're afraid to tackle the job themselves. Wait until Daddy comes home, he'll fix you" is a common statement in many homes and a common mistake. If Junior does something which calls for discipline, perform the operation yourself at once and " don't pass the buck. So there they are, direct from firsthand sources, well-testways to loosen the marriage ties. Avoid them, however, and you'll not only f keep 10 ed your man but be happier yourself. Family Weekly, August 30, 1959 |