OCR Text |
Show - Problem Pupi Hill nil iV of my chil- quiet, overly good child may be trying so hard to please that he luffert from nervousness and severe tension. The adults, forcing them to bend over, to listen carefully, and to repeat themselves just for her Perhaps Anne's mothci talked incessantly about Anne's sie. and perhaps she handled her daughter as a small and unimpoi tant person It's obv ious to me that Anne learned to attract and hold attention for a reason Most children like her are treated either as small, cute toys or. worse, they are ignored. Seldom are they accepted as full and contributing members of the family There are other children, like Honald. who don't attempt to draw attention; instead, they willfully ignore it Ronald is bright and quick, but he can't keep up with the class Why'' Because he's unable to get directions ight I ve seen lots of mother-deafnebefore, and almost always it occurs among children w ho are accustomed to screaming mothers. These bright youngsters quickly learn to ignor e all orders unless they are yelled Shouting is their cue for active obedience. At school, where we give directions in nor mal tones, the mother-dea- f child waits for a loud voice before he listens and generally loses out completely. I have taught babyish children, children who are discouraged, joyous children, angry children And through the years I've learned that the discouragement, the joys, and the babyishness simply reflect the private lives these children lead at home. I happen to be a mother myself, and I know full well the difficulties of raising a secure and happy child. For each parent has problems of his own, and even in the best of homes, cares and worries affect our children- -- often in ways we don't expect But because I am a teacher as well as a parent, I also know the inherent danger of expecting the school to right the errors we have made as parents, or to assume responsibilities we have refused to accept. Johnny's angry mother asked. "Don't you teach our children anything''" "Yes" is the right answer. We try to teach subjects and substance, and help children learn to work in a group. But we can't and shouldn't be asked to take over those lessons best taught in the family: morals, ethics, and manners. And sadly, we can't change unhappy parents. We can only try to understand what makes their youngsters the way they are. r Stic gets the attention that she wants su badly being loo good She pays the pine for this in severe tension How do I By watching those carefully folded hands tremble as I come near her desk I also know how deeply troubled this child is by watching the pressure she exerts on her pencil as she awkwardly makes her heavy, 1: kti'' damped letters ARK scores of ( lues which a good teacher follows into a family's private life Each ycai I have children who struggle mightily to attract attention. Some whisper, some clown, some cry. Anne is one of them. A tiny girl, she speaks ir a voice as small as herself. For weeks kept repeating. "What was that. Anne'''' Suddenly I realized that this was Anne's way of controlling 'IHFRF I V ss - "Watch it mister an open manhole! m & .r IB m I I dren reflect happy home lives. I don't judge this by their native intelligence, but by the way they go about their schooling. Alex is a slow learner, a plodder. I've never met his parents, yet I know that there is love and respect in his home. For Alex goes about his business calm and relaxed. He has a happy relationship with his schoolmates When I give him a chore, he performs it as if he were accustomed to cooperating with others. But most important, Alex, slow as he is, is eager to learn at his own comfortable pace. Through the years, I've learned that my happiest children come from homes where parents are able to accept their own limitations and, therefore, the limitations of their children. These parents give their youngsters one of the world's great gifts: the feeling that they are loved and accepted not because they're best at reading or first in popularity, but just because they are themselves. Too many children feel that they are loved for what they can do. I still remember the small boy who breathed a sigh of relief when I told the class I was promoting them to second grade "Whew," he said, "Now my Dad will be happy with me! Now I'll get the racing bike he promised me!" These youngsters are too small to realize that Mother and Father may be frustrated and disappointed in themselves, and that these personal dissatisfactions compel them to pressure their children to be successful where they had failed. So the youngsters come to believe that a good report card is the sure way to win Mother's love. With classrooms so crowded, teachers today often meet only the parents of the aggressive child, the one who creates trouble. And yet because your child doesn't throw spitballs or make noise in class, it doesn't necessarily follow that he's happy. The quiet, overly good child who never creates a classroom problem often is a problem to himself. Right now there is a little girl in my room who works diligently and then sits silently, hands folded in her lap. In the natural order of things, her mother never will be summoned to " school, for this child is "good Yet I suspect that I should call in the mother, for that child is too anxious to please. 7 I (Continued) r course, the majority i. MAOCMIISCUE 1 ' V lnt 1 , 7-- .H., USf AT HOMI wmr our rfttiT, InnriirM-- titnry n romantic fflttncif' Kew HuinUnt loir m new hiapmr i(H ' itt- - Reduce tcaist, hip, lummy iz- e- NO I MKT! in matar.' no vibration, no NEW - truly I Cinv NC a IIORl ROMANCE begins wirti a pretty tan lost exicss figure Now iruhcs from yiair fummv. hips and thighs without Jirt or wcght loss Qf.'K KLY, TASIl Y while you RllST luxuriously at home' Relax A l tot givc, you a delightful new kind of ing slimming'exerc isc that rc qu.rcs NO ITpORT' You RI LAX and enjoy reading, jewing even SI I I PINC. while1 Relax-A-tiz- removes those cxtcss inches almost like magic Joet KO'I mail 'sou to. regular beauty aui it J hit FIRMS TRIMS i,etui . . . TIGHTENS i . . . Oiet may taus. sagging and loss from bust, net k nod f.ut dies wr. it, instead, fitrm and ltvhltti your w.usr, hips, thighs and alvlnmen FA( IAI at must les around t.uhmcnt xc rc ' YES and THROAT ml )fur health tbj?. is the safe, sensible, economical lu,nn method praised, by thcms&bds of users " Home model t'n apfroi dcrti nlrrt' IuihoraHrRelax-A-uzo- r is W - FfATMtfO ft IN HEAP SAY; ' 4 im-t- Mm M MANY I If mil iniwrrt OS. ft vmi live M. hIH. I. SI I'M-U- Itmii iilwli mwli M A ti " 2 TWO THE EIHST low , ii MOKE Stn OIIIH4 WHAT te waft WOMEN' "Drr l. MADCMOtSEUf 2 full dior AN TS OK IMYS' in. iiihn 1 n urn TElf-PH- mf.li r Hr I BOOKI ET EKKK'THIAI IHKSlMKNl ON o nhhuntum Al.Mi Villi I) hi VIA MONET BACK C.IVAHANIMr rw wrrrr flmpitnv h lor ) tTMtormiilMin .t.. SEND COl'PO TIllfOONI TODAY Stt' Yiwlt ( it N-- Wirt MAI rVtwi r VH I i n.iiuo'-iptii- k A. Ki ll) WO ill I T PH Crb-vla- I 22'2 1 I bViUl rm CMfa. ., lin Vara city, ar Ma ttata La M MS CMH . ar , 17 l in Pl.AIN' wrlnfn- Irt-- r iiilimna ot wnnl. Inp tifm ahcviit rvHliwit No u)tthiarh. aridoffnf-- n ' Snd I , N A M win iit pRlvt l ' I , I K I I U-- family I I t., Ctdcajt j out-pupil- Weekly, Mar 10. 157 , IraniMo St Sn 282 1m IbmU III K.fWMMI marjhn rcrf wmrft wHtinf rtt' j f m , j |