|Paper||Lehi Free Press|
|Rights||No Copyright - United States (NoC-US)|
|Publisher||Digitized by J. Willard Marriott Library, University of Utah|
|Paper||Lehi Free Press|
LEHI FREE PRESS. LEHI. UTAH FABLE OF THE FOUR MERCENARY MINXES Cv GEORGE ADE e!l Syrian at. W.VU Service the dim Dajs, rone Recall, when Parents not compelled to take out Licenses, there lived In an E. Flat Town on the O. and A. XL a Quartette of Nectarines woo bad their Pick of all the Valentinos between Padgett's Siding and Sumac Ridge, To look at the old Photographs of them, one might suspect that thej were related to Sis Hopkins, but It murt be remembered that In the deadly Nineties, when every Dorothy was banged across the Brow and had a New England Boiled Dinner Bewed on to her wide Hat, the most ravishing Specimen of the only attractive Sex looked as if she had been dipped In something and then dried In the Sun. Now these fair Vestals were Named Lib and Mln and Stel and Jess, and It is of Interest to note that away back, nearly 35 Tears ago, before the World had been reformed Into Its present deplorable Fix, these Maidens slept with one Eye ojien. kept Tab on the Opposite Gender and. In a General Way. looked out for Number one and the Blue Ticket A good many Weepers will tell yon that previous to 1910, when a Nice Girl was supposed to Faint If anyone saw her Ankles, every Marriage had a Background of True Love and every Deb went looking for Nobility of Character instead of an AA1 Rating at the Commercial Agency. If the Truth must come out, full many a cold Calculation was made beneath a Poke Bonnet Weren't Too Ambitious. Cleopatra knew how to put a Crimp in a Check Book. When Solomon began giving Presents to the Queen of Sheba she never begged him to stop because she was afraid he could not afford it Going a little further back, the fuzzy Gentleman who wore a Leopard Skin bias, and naught else, always had the Inside Track If his Cave was stocked with fresh Pterodactyl Meat And, checking up on those Relatives, can we not be certain that the gimpy and enterprising Ape who climbed the highest Palms and brought down the milkiest Nuts was the White-HalreTapa of the Jungle? When the four Dulcineas out at Musselwhite began to look around for Feathers that could be used in a Neat, they were simply running true to form. Of course it was a Tap Era and a Dollar would go a long Distance, whereas now It seems muscle-bounThe Village Belle who was getting ready to take a Buggy Ride could hardly sleep a Wink the Night before and at a Musical Offering the Folks In the Back Rows would stand up. to get a Peek at the new Triumph of Man's Ingenuity called the Saxophone. The four conniving Cutles were not looking for Millionaires. It was no use trying to creep up on Something that wasn't there. Each of them merely wanted a Home with a Front Tard to'It and a Hired Girl and the kind of Duds thnt would go with a Silk Parasol. They were real Chums and used to visit One Another and lie awake far into the Night discussing their foxy Flans for landing and stringing some Live Ones. It will ever be a Question in picking out the Envelope supposed to contain the Pay Check, whether It Is wiser to spread the Bait for John who already has Currency In the Mitt or troll for a hard Worker who owns a set of Tools. . Lib was the first to take the High Jump. After burning up many a ton of Anthracite Coal to keep the Front Room warm through the Long Winter Evenings, and holding Hands until her Fingers were Blue, she finally picked Pachydehra-wlt- h out a large the very attractive Name of Wes. She pinned the Ribbon on him because he had Just come Into 100 acres of good Land. Other Improvements on the Same Included a House around the Eaves with Scroll-Worand JS00 worth of Lightning Rods on the Bnrn. Ika No Piker. who expects to live on the Anyone Income from a Quarter Section should be ready for a Diet of Rainwater and Crackers. The net on that much Land, after paying Taxes and making Improvements and Repairs, would not keep the average Fa.nily In Bluing. Furthermore, any time Congress gets too busy trying to do something for the Farmer by mere use of the Vocal Cords, any good Fertile Tract Is apt to be a Liability instead of an Asset. Wes thought he was rich but he was si ting on the Front Stoop of The Poor House, One cannot obtain actual Money from a Farm except by plastering a Mortgage, and any Gentleman who lives In Town and wears a White Shirt with a Granite Button g and devotes the day to Checkers and Criticism of the Government, has a Fat Chance of battling his Way out from under an Incumbrance. Everyone said that Wes was smart enough but never showed any Ambition, Initiative and deadly Resolution except when he was In a Pool Game, Everything was Jake and rosy with the Couple as long as they could borrow on the Real Estate, but now the Farm belongs to the Hired Hand and Wes la Floor Walker In a Grocery In ONCE d slow-movin- g life-lon- Quaint Frocks Ruffle-Trimme- d By CHERIE NICHOLAS Cholera Epidemic Kills Ohio Hogs Early Vaccination Is Advocated as Only Way to Battle Disease. k 86 fc. Store, while Lib Bakes Cakes for Parties. Just to show yoo that thert U nothing in Dope, It m&y t related that Win fell Into the erma of Ike liter making sure that his Share of the Estate would be about $3,000. Well into a the Wiz who ran a Tooth-picLumber Tard tnd Mr. Helnze, starting wiih only ore Pickle, were timid He Pikers compared to or with took his linle Huuk of Dough up to the City and made a First payment on some North Shore property and then Sold enough Lots to pay for the Land and had over 6.000 lots left, which Is some figuring, no matter what you say. He and Min now spend most of their time iu Travel and are scared pink all the while that some one will sneak the Jewel Case containing $125,000 worth of Gems Suitable for a large Lady who never bad Silk next to the Skin until she was 30 years of age. They are very unhappy. George B. Shaw must hare Bized up the Human Menagerie through many Tears before he invented that startling Catch Phrase. "Tou Never Can Tell." When Stel threw herself away on Silent Si who worked at the Grain Elevator, it was the Verdict for Miles around that she had been guilty of a prize. Boner. Because he said little, most of the Town Folk thought he was a Dumfuddie. Ball of Fir Upsets the Dope. It was not generally understood In Musselwhite that anyone ever cut out Idle Chatter so as to devote more time to Thinking. Stel had been keeping Cases on him and she figured that he was doing something with the Bean besides using it as a support for a Derby Hat, so she crossed her Fingers and took the big Gamble. It Is now a matter of History that Si became such an Expert Accountant that finally he owned the Elevator and then began to touch up the Market Wire and finally moved right into Chicago and became one of the most audacious, unscrupulous and nervy Hounds that ever wore hornrimmed Glasses and dealt from the Bottom of the Deck. They are very proud of him, back in the Old Home Town, and will tell you that Stel and he live In a very exclusive and restricted District which bars out Colored People and Apartment Houses. They have a Japanese Servant and both have been to the Mayo Institute, than which nothing could be more so. If any of the Locals ever raise a Question as to how he acquired the princely Bank Roll, some one speaks up and asks, "Well, he's got It, ain't he?" What more could be said even though Chapters were devoted to the subject. It was the candid Opinion of the Wise Men of Main Street, back in the Glorious Days of Free Silver, that J. Percival Trigwhlltz was the cooniest and cleverest kit of the whole Kit No matter what anyone said to him he was right there with a Keener than mussnappy Come-Baetard and nothing got past him except Lightning. When Jess fell for Perce It was agreed that she had a little Ball of Fire who would cut some Streak. He Is now putting out for the Movie Theater but he Is still very good at Repartee when anyone duns him. Possibly the J. Fercival has held him back all these Tears but Jess still has Confidence in him because when it comes to delivering Laundry Work after she gets It all done up, he Is absolutely Trustworthy and always knows where he can borrow a Wheelbarrow. Moral: After talking with the Neighbors and consulting a Fortune Teller, go ahead and use your own judgment. spreading. The prevention or cholera by vaccination of the pigs be fore the disease makes its appearance In a community, is advocated. The annual loss to the state from this dis ease approaches 200.000 pigs, and this year, reports Indicate that more than the usual amount of trouble may be expected. It is cot necessary to wait until the pigs are weaned in order to vaccinate them. The proper time for vaccination is when the pigs are five or six weeks old, but they may be vaccinated safely at one week of age. Hogs that have previously been vaccinated are Immune to the disease. Hog cholera takes two forms. In the acute form the hogs quickly sicken and die, often In three days. In the chronic type the hogs may linger for of In terms PEAKING S" several weeks. the all if statistics, s When cholera first appears In a ruffles that trim this frocks herd only two or three may become should be measured yard sick. These refuse to eat and remain for yard and placed In In their nest refusing to be driven out a single row, they would The sick animals hunch tbelr backs extend around the cirand shiver, later become gaunt and cumference of the earth stagger. The hogs become constipatwell, we will leave It to ed; later diarrhea sets In, and as the you to figure out for yourdisease progresses, red or purple spots self how many times. Anyappear on the skin of the ears, belly, way, what we started out and under the flanks. to say Is that designers The present outbreak Is gaining are employing no end of rapidly because fewer farmers this ruffles on summer gowns. year cared to spend the money necesRuffles have a way of sary for preventive treatment Last bespeaking the alluringly year there was practically none of the feminine as no other form of decorathis picture a "dream of a gown" de disease in the state. tion seems to have, which Is exactly signed by Lyolene of Paris. Ihlt the point we wish to stress, namely, charming debutante dance frock it chiffon of Farm Woodlots Return that the call of the present mode Is fashioned of an for lovely Ingenue types In frocks bemberg. It does not seem possible, Millions to the Owners which "say it" via quaint wide to look at this exquisite sheer weave, New Tork state farm woodlots are flounces and countless wee ruffles and that It launders beautifully, but it meltings and cunning puffs and the does. Not only that, but it is wrinkle second only to Wisconsin and lead like. proof. The narrow rose velvet sash North Carolina and Tennessee, acwhich ties in a simple bow at the cording to a recent summary, of the The exquisitely sheer materials, back gives Just the right touch of 1030 census. The 3.034.000 acres of chiefly organdies, chiffons, mousseline farm woodlots in New York returned de sole, dotted Swisses and cotton nets color. upon which fashion places such unIf you like dotted swiss you will be $1G,2GO,000 and Wisconsin's 5,705.000 mistakable emphasis this season, yield charmed with the dress shown to the acres returned $10,025,000. Wisconsin so gracefully to this form of ornaleft in the group. For this model of has nearly 4,000.000 more acres of mentation It Is no wonder that a pale blue dotted swlss is combined farm land than New York. veritable riot of ruffles and such now with white organdie. Look close and The principal product from the New adorn the mode. you will discover that the little bodice York farm woodlands, according to J. There Is nothing conventional about of swlss fastens In points at the front A. Cope of the state college of agrithe new ruffled effects. As a matter over a of the organdie. culture, Is fuel wood, followed in order of fact, ruffiles and their near relaPuffs on the sleeves of the organdie by: sawlogs, fence posts, poles and tions such as puffs and frills of varigive that sprightly youthful silhouette piling, railroad ties, and pulpwood. ous sorts are performing the most which is characteristic of all gowns Most of the state's pulpwood Is cut audacious capers Imaginable. They this season which are made of the from commercial forest areas, he says. are as apt to run up and down the popular starched sheers. The typical New York state wood-lo- t length of a skirt as to go around and As to the girlish frock pictured to contains twenty-thre- e acres and Is around, or perhaps they will go Into the isn't It just a "darling 1" of the total acreage of the right, a huddle on each shoulder or play We think It Is. It Is made of quaint farm. The state has nearly 18,000,000 In dozens and dozens merry checked organdie white and any acres In Its 100,000 farms. The value of tiny rufflets which achieve a knee-deptcolor which suits your fancy best. of woodlot products was included for hemline, and when hey form See how Is the skirt the first time In the 1030 census, and Into little diaphanous themselves about the hips. Toung girls insist on for the whole United States totaled shoulder enpes made of organdie or this sleek, slim silhouette for their $242,000,000. sheer mousseline as many ruffles have newer The broad ruffle which a twibit of doing this season, it would Is cut gowns. on the bias is sewed on with a seem as If fancy could conceive of "heading." The puffed sleeves and the Army Worms on the Way nothing more flattering in the way of full ruffle about the neckline, and the Army worms may be abundant this feminine adornment bow tell the story of present year because of the late, wet spring Just to show you how perfectly large fashion trends most eloquently. The and the early growth of grass and lovely ruffles can be when handled girdle of black cire ribbon is also a weeds, according to entomologists of by an artist who knows "lines" we "last word" feature. the United States Department of AgriIn are Illustrating the foreground of . 193 J. Western Newspaper Union. culture. The little worms that hatch from eggs laid in grass and weeds grow so fast and chew so fast, that WIDE SAILOR HATS they often destroy acres of crops beIT'S BRAND NEW fore farmers realize what is happenARE NOW IN FAVOR Bt CHERIE NICHOLAS ing. Careful watch Is necessary to Collector Profits by If you can wear them, be sure and spot the tiny greenish caterpillars In your hat wardrobe for sumfeeding near the surface of the ground Odd Philatelic Error include mer one of the dashing new merry under the shelter of overhanging leaf A philatelic error in a million, the widow sailors. In spite of all the rublades. When grain shows definite both on head the of king's printing mors that fashion has gone high signs of damage from this insect it hat sides of a sheet of 45 halfpenny these big shallow crowned sailors are Is usually too late to do anything of interest the aroused has stamps, about it, and the army worm has beIncreasingly popular. of England collectors In every part One of the smartest Is made of come full grown and finished its seaand has sent them scurrying to post white rough straw, with a very wide son's work. Seldom, if ever, does it another. of finding offices in the hope brim, and a crown not more than an break out twice in the same place In The stamps were issued to a Loninch and a half high. A wreath of one year. The best way to control the ? of six office and don suburban post field flowers in bright red. blue and army worm, entomologists say. Is to them were sold before the error was yellow encircles the crown. sprinkle poisoned bran bait over the discovered. Another sailor, with a more modiinfested area as soon as the minute of the seventh, The purchaser fied brim, and a low square crown, is who, caterpillars a begin to crawl onto the was collector, lucky however, made in stiffened white pique, with a stalks of the young grain. realizing that he had chanced on an navy grosgrain band at the back, and error unique In the history of his a nosegay of field flowers perched In hobby, promptly bought up the rethe middle of the front Plans for Corncribs maining 38. For the convenience of the farmer, worth to be estimated are ! They -working plans and bills of materials Camisole Is Shown in New 50 in all and are now In the possesfor a simple and Inexpensive corncrib sion of E. D. Bowie, a London stamp ': J ;j f fas Fashions for Hot Weather and for a combination crib and on the error, dealer. In commenting granThe camisole is back! Isn't that a ary have been developed by the buMr. Bowie said that the value of the But what else to laugh? do with reau of agricultural engineering. Unitsix stamps which were used and which these new transparent sweater blouses ed States Department of Agriculture. might be any place In the world, could and thin dimity, organdie and lace Either Is available upon application to not be estimated. "Naturally," he that all the world can see things the bureau. added, "the search for them will be through? It's a problem for the undie world-wido.- " The cribs are of frame construction the Here's In newest the way thing world and no other, hence the thrice-toland are rat proof. They have middle of pajamas. The same error occurred In 18S1 In into the Step right leg, tale of the camisole. Of course, lilac, the printing of the wrap the left leg around, tie the ends driveways, removable ventilators and yon can attach It to a slip, or a pair catanow in Is which SO, No. Scotts front and you are in the smartest drying racks, and drag doors. The deof panties, so that there Is Just the most vices for ventilating and for rat logued at $75. proofbother of one piece, but many of the wore. comfortable pajamas you ever These clever ing may- also- hp ......... in l .,. as are them aloof unshowing and shops Where to Feed Bird they are called, are as clever for home old structures. The details of con- attached to anything. as for beach wear. Swale or swamp borders, weed They are attract- siruction can be applied in bnilding When you go to buy an I see-yoive in stripes as you see here and cribs of greater or smaller dimensions patches, brushy fence rows and the blouse or sweater, the salesgirl imme they are Just as made or of different types. protected sides of woodlots or radiately brings out her latest assort of gay plalded fabrics. vines are good places to place food ment of camisoles, taking for granted, for game birds In the wintertime. naturally, that if you went in to buy Agricultural Squibs Linen Smartneii everGrain put under dense clumps of a pair of new shoo3, yon wouldn't buy Slightly green fruit Is best for pickLinen shoes and hats ait correct greens or at the windswept bases of the left foot and refuse to take the ling. large trees usually will be available right one. The relationship In the with linen suits and dresses this summer. Remember that they, too, can to the birds, even after considerable new fashion field Is just ai close. he washed as easily and as Blacksmlthlng has become popular snowfall. frequently among Nebraska farmers. as the dresses themselves. Tailored Cottons e Anemict Becoming Rare cotton In Trim Indians tailored suits on tones the Crow Creek reservaLingerie Trimming Since liver treatment has turned of beige, gray and navy blue are ready The significance of lingerie trim- tion (S. D.) have designed a 4 II empernicious anemia into t curable diswear In the country and In mings cannot be blem in bead work. ease, some research workers say that for sports Informal wear In town. Most of them I'lque In white, eggshell or dark cole It Is hard to find enough anemia pacotton white worn with are blouse? ors Alfalfa, will n be used lot most to with though for tients further provide data profitable hay prints an which may be kept fresh by tubbing. crop for Illinois farmers, yields an plain color costumes. studies. of only 2.3 tons an acre. gosh-blam- BELLS W Wulchet. Extension Spec'aiist- to 6tt UnlAnmal HtwMJidrjr. Ohio Tltr. 'SV SfrrTlcO. Several outbreaks of hog cholera are reDorted from widely separated Is rap places in Ohio, and the disease Er J 1 HIS WAY idly Arithmetic was the taught In the small boJ8"Johnny Brown," gubu - KC , "can you make ten go imo Z" Johnny thought for a whn,', said : "Yes, teacheri" She smiled. xuiuit, now, Johnny," J io.ii.iui gu 11UO I WO. "Oh, yes. It can, teecher! m bright boy. "Ten toes can g0 lnt, socks !" Answers Magatini CHA B3i iu UP TO STANDARD p 1' Be ' ge I sea-sou'- prettiest e semi-blous- e e one-fift- VjirltN kii ;:re. Eat "Is this the fastest train oa line?" "It's the limited, sir." "Well, it's the limit, all right MHO Job lnstai I m For Good Meaiure Pathfinder one-penn- y . ni iw,m-jiLi- u good-lookin- g ar-cra- Aere oM other irst srof iydi' and'! til ' He Jo "And this beautiful Jar," saldJoti proudly exhibiting his treasures, cost me 20." "Well, well !M said his friend. suppose they threw in the all "I It'! B rooi Magazine. ton log Grandma's Problem Mother You don't know howjl worry me. Why, my hair is tomli pray. Small Daughter You sure m have worried poor grandma, hair's turned white! El Redeeming the Wanderer! Blinks Ever buy anything at a raj mace sale? Jinks Yes, I bought back mj Sa day pants the last time our eta gave one. Cincinnati Enquirer, Knowi Hit Habiti ss "My daddy's a bookkeeper." tie Bertie proudly. "I know it," replied his little mate. "He has several of my dy's." Answers Magazine. J ft at l T p' t! C h E I I 1 DISCOVERED married Jl know it "What has become of that sive movement you sraneu. an .,t's going too strong," Senator Sorgnum. to ose V: strong that I'm liable n trnity trying to Keep over me." Washington Star- A ttfm w "T?t t.nw do vo'i ever- get to pose wi mais or .. . ,. ii. An" nrtW Is set 'ah you gua -I8" bunch of Klelg lights. ;l - Courier-Journa- l. Cleaver Expert your did you break "Why Tom?" ment to d "He deceive. was a liver and kuiih '.' I found out that ne butcher's , shop."-IiostonTr:l- The Ditcordant nil lei se be too credulous. She Before we were said you were well off. He I was, but I didn't not w b- mustn't 1 it W( Belief "To succeed," said the eaniestyoc " a man mn helieve in himself." Miss Cayenne, "t answered "Yes," you rati ai r::il'i if i the Diplomatic Willie Mother, I Just madf i with Walter. Mother Why you naughty Ik What made you do It? Willie I bet Walter my cap agall a button that you were the best moil In town and that you'd give me i J ny to get some candy with. Ion d want me to lose my cap, do tJ mother? Pathfinder Magazine. h One-Shee- ts I at Eg "You like music, of courffiC" "In moderation." answered enne. "My one objection many tf, affords an excuse to so noise. a any kind of are making It themselves..