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Show Aug. 26, 1993 17 Hilltop Times ssertDwoness is IhieeiBfflhiy (sotftfntfydle Workshop will discuss how to 'stand up for your rights without violating the rights of others, and how to gain control of your life. B You have the right to receive formal recognition for your work and achievements. B You have the right to say "No." Most people believe most or even all of these rights intellectually, but don't believe them in their hearts. Intellectually, most people believe they have the right to put themselves first sometimes, but old childhood programming keeps whispering, "nice people always put other people first." Consider questioning the old programming and see if it still makes sense today. You may find it doesn't. Jean Weinberger, who hold a bachelor of science degree in social work and is on the staff of a local home health care establishment, will be facilitating a workshop on Tuesday from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Hill AFB Family Support Center. She will ex"I'm afraid I'm going to have to punish you, aggressive, passive plore communication styles with your permission of course." aggressive, passive assertive and assertive. You will learn to recognize these styles and how to react appropriately. She will show attendees how being asrespect for them. A few of these rights include: is healthy. B You have the right and the responsibility to sertive By becoming assertive, she promotes the folcontrol your own life. B You have the right to hold and express your lowing: B Become assertive to move from feeling trapped own feelings, thoughts and opinions and to be your to feeling in control of your life. own judge. Become assertive so you can discover commuB B You have the right to be treated respectfully tools for acting in your own behalf. nication and to be taken seriously. Become B assertive so you can more clearly unB You have the right to err and to change your and derstand appreciate yourself, your feelings, your mind. choices. and your power B You have the right to make and refuse requests so you can create satisfying, Become assertive B without feeling guilty. others by learning ways to with B You have the right to be human (not perfect) equal relationships feel who you are. and how and you don't have to be liked by everyone. you express B You have the right to get what you pay for. fl Assertiveness is recognizing that you have the B You have the right to choose not to pursue a right to express your own wants, needs, feelings and ideas and doing so without denying, interfering or personal right. B You have the right to put yourself first violating the rights of others. is required. To register or for sometimes. Don't forget to B You have the right to ask for help or emotional more information, call Ext. bring your lunch. support. by Nancy Brewer Family Support Center Many people seem to have trouble handling certain situations in an assertive manner. Wherrwas the last time you had to deal with an aggressive person, say no to a persuasive salesman, ask someone who is disturbing you to stop, return faulty merchandise to a store, ask for help, refuse a request, accept a compliment, express anger, begin or maintain a conversation, criticize inferior work or deal with an unruly child? How did you handle any of these situations? Were you comfortable with the outcome or did you stew for hours and wish you had handled it differently? Maybe you didn't do anything at all. Everyone has weak spots in his or her emotional armor. These weaknesses can be easily exploited by manipulators which can result in your not standing up for yourself. If you can recognize your vulnerable areas, you can regain control and make decisions that reflect what's right for you. Some common vulnerabilities are: feelings of guilt; fear of conflict or anger; consistently falling for a hard luck story or flattery; fear of disapproval; feelings of insecurity in your role as a spouse, parent or supervisor; dislike for silence; and fear of being different. There are ways to discover your vulnerabilities. Once you do, develop a strategy to avoid being manipulated. Being assertive is not easy at first. Some people need permission not to let people overrun them, because they don't understand that as a human being they have rights, rights that promote a healthy Pre-registrati- C n$r&w, TtS, TC rWofo T. 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