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Show PAGE TWO PROVO (UXAJD SITND AY HER A L D, SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18, 1931 SECTION TWO A Scrtppi-Csnhtld The Herald A SCRIPPS-CANFIELD NEWSPAPER , Every Aftiriion, except Saturday, and Sunday Morning Published by the Herald Corporation, N. Gunnar Rasmuson, president. In the Herald Building, 50 South First West Street, Provo, Utah. Entered as second-class matter at the postoffice in Provo, Utah, under the act of March 3. 1873. Gilman, Nicoll ,& Ruthman, National Advertising Representatives San Francises office, 525 Market street. Room 523; Chieago-of flee. 410 North Michigan avenue; New York off!ce.l9 West Forty-fourth street; Boston office, IS Tremont sti cetrrDetrbit, Michigan, office,601 New Center Bldg. "Proclaim liberty tiircraghout the land' Subscription terms by carrier in Utah county, 50 cents the month; $2.75 for six months In advance; $5.00 the year in advance; by mall. In the county, $4.50; outside Utah county, $5.00. R. W. GOODELL, Editor and Manager. J. A. OWENS. Advertising Manager THE RUTII QUICK Neither this newspaper, nor any of its stockholders or officials has any connection whatever, directly or indirectly, with any political arty, public utility, real estate promotion or other private business except the publication of newspapers devoted solely to disinterested public service. OUT OUR WAY BY WILLIAMS Ao Porf n a Storm "Our job," said a political leader the other day, "is to steer the ship of state safely into the port of prosperity." But, kind sir, there are no ports on the ocean of life; no safe harbors for ships of state or even lowly citizens. We are all afloat on the stream of time a shoreless current stretching ahead and back into the blackness of eternity. eter-nity. It is a nice, comforting idea that, if we will just drift llong as best we can, some day we shall turn up in a safe toxfi-somewhere; and that then we shall have to repair our iconomic craft. V But it's only a myth. , Just now our craft rides the storma bit waterlogged, with some of the crew out of commission, sails tattered- and none too good seamanship on the bridge. - There may, it is true, be better weather ahead but a wise seaman never counts on good weather. He keeps his ship trimmed and tight and trusts in skill and experience, NOT in luck. We may as well realize now that we' have got to repair the old ship, storm or no storm, and do it in midocean ' unless we want to end upon the rocks of despair or the shoals of disaster. Just as long as we keep putting off the repairs and hoping, vainly, lor a safe harbor, just so much leakier and more battered will the old ship get. Howdy, folks! Chinese laundry-men laundry-men in the United States are returning re-turning to Manchuria to fight for their native country. We may yet hear of a brigadier general named San Francisco Charlie or Chicago Sam. i v flS v " In his message to congress, Mr. Hoover says: "We do not require more money or working capital." Speak for yourself, Herb; we could use $10 pretty nicely just new with Christmas coming on and whatnot 5j 5t 5 - AIDS PRESIDENT! This is Congressman Cuthbert Cupcake, who is backing President Presi-dent Hoover's proposal to increase in-crease federal taxes. In a letter let-ter to the White House' today, Congressman Cupcake suggested suggest-ed that the na tion . would welcome wel-come a tax of $150 a year on all men who wear orange-colored spats. s TN Grooowtavrr! YvjeiOj a .iAau maf OAVE - 1V GOHV 4 'UPE., . I MM --TwlATlb ItHf "VbC OP A HUU, -to Put 6-z , x TUew GwJ cjusT 'Tf -TH'GCRK oowm i WOOMGr ' 01 OAWE A PbUTfe. WA 1 WAS k'lMD OF A QVJ WOOR B& SOFT JOB - J OF tfe.UM PtEASAKiT .F- MACiAiwie- Avjf I AM 14. OOmV ! A OW MES BuT rT OCkiV GtME WOO A f ' SM -T '7 eA.PPM 6EHoi T' vMDRk'. KAUCH -t&HTfe.R "T A vsitO UF,EC A sfOB 1 C TO E. LET Oovsiki "" - XA j WML O. a PKX. Off. . Qpestic&Q 1831 BY titA SCBVICE. IWC Observations Pedestrians may become so scarce that a motorist may have to run over; thejsame person twice in order to keep up his average. V Fewer marriage tics would be broken if husband and wife were tongue-tied. You can say this for an airplane you get a lot of mileage out of the tires. "Home cooking" sometimes sounds better than it tastes. More than 6000 bilf$ were introduced intro-duced in congress this week. Mosc-b was a piker. He only wrote !0 commandments. LONGFELLOW REVISED . Under the stately capltol dome The windy solons talk, And talk and talk and talk and talk And talk and talk and talk. A serious shortage of liquor for the holiday season is reported by local bootleggers. A lot of Santa Clauses arc not going to smell familiar fa-miliar this year. GUNMAN SCORES PRISON. VOLTS, AMPERES, WATTS Do you know what they are what they mean? Magnets, generators, motors, induction, incandescence, incandes-cence, fuses, meters -they' affect every moment of your life, awake or asleep, Nin this age of electricity and machinery. Everybody in this modern age has occasion to 'use "elementary knowledge of electricity and electrical construction. . . Our Washington Bureau has ready for you a bulletin,, written in a popular way on ELECTKIClTlTT containing the elementary facts about this all-prevad-ing stuff of which all matter in the universe is probably probab-ly a manifestation. You will find it fascinating read ing and full of valuable information. Fill out the-coupon the-coupon below and send for it: y ' f-r . ' CMP COUPON HEKE Dept. J60, Washington B'lrPn Provo Evening IleraM. 1322 New York Avenue, Washington. D. C. I want a copy of the bulletin ELECTKlCITY and enclose herewith five cents in coin, or loofJr; uncancelled, U. S. postage stamps, to cover return postage and handling costs: NAME ST. & NO. CITY STATE I am a reader of the Provo Evening Herald. , CLIP COUPON HERE- V ; :; , :- Hank SIcMurder, serving a 9-year 9-year term in state's prison, demanded de-manded today that the warden give him a month's vacation vaca-tion in which to do his Christmas Christ-mas shopping. "I am not at aU satisfied here," explained Mr. McMurder. "In f a c t, I never would h a e come here If I had .known what a taa reputation the place has. I want a vacation In order to buy an automatic rifle and a machine ma-chine gun.' Besides, there are a couple of banks I want to rob to raise money for Christmas presents." pres-ents." The warden has taken Mr. McMurdei"s application under advisement. ad-visement. ;: ;s ft -a; Vice President Curtis, who will be Hoover's running mate nox year, says: "I am an optimist." You'd better be, Charlie! WORDS PRECEDING i THE TRAGEDY I "I think this is the right ad- j drew. Ring the doorbell . any- t way it's only 3:30 a. m.'-'. I When Li'l Gee Gee sings, it takes us back to the dear old days on the farm, and wc hear in memory the rupty windmill creaking in th breeze. HOMER BREW'S DIARY (December 11) Thys daye to rummaging in an olde trunk in the attlck, and doi flnde a burnt-wood pipe-rack. which Dame Brew did make me for Christmas ere we be-wedded; aiid I do laugh heartiUe atf the prettie creature, which doth irk her vastly, and she doth dig up a pin-tray, which I did give her these JJ-many-years gone by, it being, made of cigar-bands pasted on a saucer: and she doth hoot, "What an artist you were;! YA-A-A-A, SMART IE: but Lord! I did maintain a haughty silence, and did freeze the zany with a glance! . . .;. : . This Is Saturday, and according to our custom, contributors will re ceive their usual weekly bonus 25 of their salaries as contribs. ,''.,; ART SHANNON." THE OBSERVER i By Jim Marshall "What we need" one of the town boosters said to ' this Minaret Mirth the other day "is more population . . . Yessir, more people "There aren't half enough people peo-ple here" he said chewing t toothpick "and no stone ought to be left unturned to get 'em here. . ." and so forth and so on 3fi 3fc 3fc . ,.3fr Wc thought a lot of towns had got over that idea but there are some lett of course and the idea still persist-, that the biggest thing In the world Is therefore the best in the old days all the $2,000,000 movies were thought vastly superior super-ior to thfLjnere $1,000,000 ones and a 56-story building was al-I al-I ways known to be handsomer and j better in every way than a 11-story affair Just how big a city ought to be we don't know but we think that if you get 100,000 people and coop them up with city limits that's about as far as you ought tO RO after that the thing becomes too complicated and too much money is wasted in transportation without any compensations whatever fr fi s& City people' pay a terrific levy for the privilege of living in a human ant-hill they lose time by traffic con gestionand have to pay interest. on the huge and often inflated valuations val-uations on property 4 there is too much competition in every line and so practitioners of everything from astrology to zoology are out of work half the time 3ft if, 2fi t'-i oAmtrv could get. along very nicely If it never went over 125,-000,000 125,-000,000 population and then there itul would be plenty of room left to wander around iri and some definite move to get people out of cities ought to be made so that both those Who leave "nd thos' who are left would get along better AND, LISTEN: We asked this chamber of commerce booster whe wanted more population how many children he was raising and he said he wasn't raising any he believed in birth control. OL' GRAMPAW NED OAKLEY WRITE! PUNKIN CORNERS. December 12. Editor The Evening Herald. Dear Sirn Brother: I read in one o' them city papers the other i day a yelp that most of th' oi-termobecl oi-termobecl accidents was lue Lo old rundown cars, but our experi ence down here don't agree with that. They is 18 cars in the bailiwick, the most recent beinp one of tlu.ni ncw-faftgled Model T things tnai Hennery Ford puts out. We ha c everything ranging back to a 13 Blitzen-Benz and nobody know., where that come from. But also, we ain't got no acc- Q. What is the origin of the ' phiase "Under the rose ' meanu.j, j secrecy? A. According to Greek mythology, Cupid bribed Harporates with ? ! rose not to betray the amours of Venus, and thus the flower became an emblem of silence or secrecy. Q. Who owns "Alutt" the horse used by Hoot Gibson in "Wild Horse?" A. Mr. Gibson owns him. Q. What kind of a tube is used in a television reproducer? A .A neon tube. Q. What are the measurements and cost of the Km ico Caruso memorial candle? A. It cost $'SQif and is sixteen feet hifjh: 5 feet in circumference at the base taperiiiji to about 18 inches at tho top and w'h-- ton. It will be burnt one day every year All Saints day, November 1) and at this rate it is estiniatM thj it will last eighteen centuries. It was made by Antonia Ajello and Brothers of New York City in 1921. Q What continents are included in the geographical" division known as Oceania? . A. It comprises Vuch- islands in the southern Pacific ocean as are neither Asiatic nor American, including in-cluding Malaysia, Australasia, and Polynesia. Q. What were the dates of the Titanic disaster, and the Johnstown Johns-town flood? A. The Titanic disaster occurred SundayApril 14. 1912. at 11:40 p. m. ship's, time (10:45 p. m.. New York time.) The Johnstown flood occurred oc-curred May 31. 1S89. dents f speak of, neither, mainly because nobody ain't in no terrific hurry to go no place, and th' cr-? won't make over 20 miles an hoar, either. So there is another o' them there bipr city theeries pone f pot. Hopin' you air the same: GRAMPAW NED OAKLEY. Cinematters By Llewellyn Miller Hollywood . . . Directing 10.-000 10.-000 moths for parts in a picture is a mere nothing to Lloyd Knetchol. He goes out and rounds u. .-ca - pulls in an airplane at grows pumpkins pump-kins with Ions necks afterward after-ward just to make the day complete. He is a trick p h o tographer at Radio studios. All of those moths were needed for a special shot in "The Dove.'' Kenchtel went out and spread liit to lure them into photographic itinge. He sprayed sweet scented stuff over an acre of bushes for two nights. In addition, he kept brilliant lights burning. On the third night he was ready to shoot. White cloths, twenty feet square, were stretched at intervals. On them were trained the rays of powerful lamps Like magic, the moths which had been collecting for two days mobilized in front of the screens. Pumpkins Made To Order The long-necked pumpkins gave a little more trouble. But finally the problem was solved by wrapping wrap-ping the growinp plants with strips of cloth, so that they had no choice but to grow the way he wanted them to. They were hothouse pumpkins, so they grew faster than usual. Friday the thirteenth does not mean a thing to Laurel and Hardy. So far as they are concerned, it is just the day after. It is Thursday the twelfth that they do not like. Because the day after both turned turn-ed up at Hal Roach studios swathed swath-ed in bandages. Laurel had received re-ceived a badly lacetratel knee while filming a fight sequence, and Hardy had burned a hand severely when a heater in his home exploded. 'A The fnrstt amiafl (Dimly nw-pirncedl car wMa mm sm IFir WI3nnfiffii The new Chevrolet Six combines the advantages of two inventions . . . Syncro-Mesh and Free Wheeling ... to assure quick, quiet, easy gear-shifting gear-shifting and positive control of the car under every driving condition Today's Whopper STONY FORD, Ariz. Dec. 12 Plans for turning the frozen geyser of Gila gulch into a power plant were completed today. to-day. - . Instead of dynamiting the great column of ice, engineers propose to make a sort of piston pis-ton out of It. The geyser spouts every half minute and the ice column works irr the blowhole , like a piston in a cylinder. A-frameworfc i3 to be erected and a flywheel installed. Figurers figured today thai about 25,000 horsepower is available. Nobody knows what to do with it, but citizens think it will be a handy thing to have around, anyway. ' The United States recently displaced dis-placed France in second place in volume of shipbuilding. One of the biggest driving thrills in modern mod-ern motoring is now available at one of the very lowest prices in the automobile market. Silent Syncro-Mesh gear-shifting is combined with simplified simpli-fied Free Wheeling in the new and finer Chevrolet Six! No other car offers this double-feature for so little .money. Syncro-Mesh is recognized rec-ognized as the most advanced type, of transmission ever developed by engineering engi-neering science. Free Whedingin that new, up-to-date sensation which adds so much to the zest of driving. The two make a matchless combination! They bring about an entirely new kind of driving PRICED AS LOW AS AU pricn f. 9. b. Flint. Michigan, ChrvnJrt Motor Company, Drtroil, Michigan. Pfai'iin General Motor. Low Delivered Prices. Easy J. M. A. ease and car control, far beyond anything you have ever enjoyed before. They give you quick, quiet, easy shifting and complete mastery of the car, under all conditions of road and traffic. They enable you to do things in driving that are impossible to do in a car without both these features, k'! Then, along with these two big motoring motor-ing thrills Chevrolet offers you 60-horse-power "six' performance, higher speed, faster acceleration, greater smoothness, smarter Fisher bodies, matchless economy, econ-omy, and a first cost among the lowest in the motor car market. Certainly, it's the great American value for 1932! C. Terms v EFIEW (DIHIEVII&dDILIETr SIS THE GREAT AMERICAN VALUE FOR 1032 More than 500,000,000 pounds of explosives are used in this country each year. A mechanical eye -which can pierce, two miles of fog ha pass! strenuous tests. ' SEE YOUR DEALER BELOW SUPERIOR , Motor Co. Heber, Utag Superior Motor Co, ' L (111 Ll. J PROVO, UTAH OLSEN Motor ales Spanish Fork Utah ': X vc a, w?". w,-, j. xc- vr-. |