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Show Wednesday. September 13, 2006 All T-Tnw narpntc Hmlrl self-esteem in their children Vernal Express, A. . w . r . TU-- v y - if by Val Farmer How does a child develop confidence to think and to cope with the challenges of life? What makes a child feel valuable, valu-able, worthy, appreciated and acceptable in their own eyes and the eyes of others? Self-esteem can be broken down into the four basic questions ques-tions children ask themselves: Am I loveable? Am I worthwhile? worth-while? Am I competent? Do I belong? Although I am writing writ-ing about building self-esteem in daughters, my advice also applies toward sons. Am I loveable? A daughter learns to value herself when her parents and others close to her value and love her. They fill her early environment with warmth and acceptance, opportunities oppor-tunities to learn and freedom to make choices. Parents respond with attention and awareness aware-ness of her needs. They consistently con-sistently meet her needs in an atmosphere of love and mutual enjoyment. As she grows older, she will test that love by her imperfections. imperfec-tions. This doesn't mean that everything she does is right. Parents also need to show love by teaching, using firmness, discipline, protection and setting set-ting limits. These corrections should be done in a context of encouragement, love and gentleness. gen-tleness. She feels loved because she is loved. This foundation of love starts with loving attachment attach-ment in infancy and continues through a consistent cherishing cherish-ing and commitment to her well-being. That is the bedrock. She also feels loved when they respect her for her individuality. indi-viduality. She is encouraged to learn, develop and appreciate her special abilities. Parents avoid blame, control, labels and harsh judgments. She is encouraged to express herself. They accept her feelings and emotions. Problems are dis cussed and negotiated. Am I worthwhile? Through parental beliefs, faith, religious participation and example, she will develop a sense of identity iden-tity and eventually a sense of purpose in life. Values are taught and she will internalize them as a clear way of judging herself. She will develop high expectations for herself. There will be times when she may not feel all that good about herself. This is not low self-esteem. The feeling of self-reproach is a reminder to herself when she falls short of her own legitimate expectations expecta-tions and standards. Abraham Lincoln said, "When I do good, I feel good and when I don't do, I don't feel good." When she knows who she is and what she stands for, her conscience will demand honesty, integrity and courage. Feeling worthwhile isn't just about avoiding moral lapses. Self-esteem is about being anxiously anx-iously involved in doing something some-thing good and worthwhile. Her life takes on meaning when she identifies goals and activities worthy of herself. Am I competent? She will face challenges, demands and strong expectations in school. These expectations should be in the range of her capability and skill. Success creates success. suc-cess. She needs to feel good about her day-to-day achievements. achieve-ments. She needs to be commended com-mended and encouraged for improvement and effort - measured mea-sured against her own capability. capabil-ity. Parents and teachers need to work together to insure that school is a positive experience. If she needs extra help, parents should give that help or make sure that it happens. Outside activities also contribute con-tribute to learning and growth. Special training in hobbies, music, drama, sports, martial arts, dance, art and the other myriad of available choices will help her know she is unique and has special knowledge or gifts. Practice and rehearsal help her with self-discipline and teach her how success comes from goals, persistence and hard work. Reading unlocks many doors. Too much TV is a time waster. Parents do well when they learn to take the role of a coach to stand on the sidelines and shout encouragement, but not take over. Occasionally it may be necessary to call time out and do some coaching. coach-ing. Victories and defeats are shared. Lessons are learned in defeat. Do I belong? She needs friends. She needs to find friends of similar interests, abilities and values. These friendships are training grounds for social skills to develop through natural give-and-take interactions. Parents can teach and model good social skills by their interactions inter-actions with each other and the way they deal with their daughter. She will be especially espe-cially aware of how conflict is resolved when people who are close to one another have important differences especially espe-cially with her. If she is treated with courtesy, respect, calmness, calm-ness, good listening, and a willingness will-ingness to hear her side and negotiate, she will use these same skills with her friends. Friends should be welcome in the home. Parents need to observe and coach her on relationships rela-tionships and peer conflict. If she has a negative experience, parents can help her put it into perspective. Friends can be fickle. Parents need to stay alert to feelings of hurt and rejection. When she is in her teens, the pressures on appearance and beauty will be a challenge - JUST ANNOUNCED- 5 YR100,000 MILE WARRANTY ON EVERY '07 CHEVROLET' BUY AN '06 CHEVY DURMAX 4X4 FOR AS LOW AS $27,938. AFTER DISCOUNTS AND REBATES GAS SIPPING CHEVY AVEO 2007 MODEL AS LOW AS $8,699. AFTER DISCOUNTS AND REBATES 00 HOW ABOUT AN '06 CHEVY COLORADO STARTING AS LOW AS $13,999. AFTER REBATES AND DISCOUNTS LEASE AN '07 CHEVY COBALT (OVER 30 MPG) FOR AS LOW AS $174.MO TAX WITH $2,000 DOWN PAYMENT AND INITIAL LEASE CHARGES AND AS ALWAYS - TIRES FOR LIFE! ! AN AMBUCAIVI REVOHJTCOjVI DrcniDrc::7 etiomlotBuMi MSNOftmUMVERSfTYPAItXWAY 1-801-373-9500 SHOP247AT WWW.BRENTBROWNAUTO.COM WHEN WE SAY WE WILL BEND OVER' BACKWARDS THAT MEANS YOUR r CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS 1 TO US! for her. Clothes will be important. impor-tant. She needs to accept her body and feel good about her feinininity. It is a challenging and vulnerable time as sexual issues are added to the mix of self-esteem. High self-esteem is a byproduct by-product of living life well, doing well and belonging. A daughter with high self-esteem experiences peace and security. secu-rity. She has optimism about her ability to cope, a sense of personal control and a belief in the goodness of the world. She will take a creative, problem-solving problem-solving approach to meeting the challenges of life instead of being governed by her emotional emo-tional distress. A young woman who has a good opinion of herself has more confidence and persistence persis-tence in working toward worthwhile worth-while goals. She will have her share of happiness. For more information on raising children, visit Val Farmer's website at www. valfarmer.com. al Farmer is a clinical psychologist psy-chologist with MeritCare in Fargo, North Dakota. He specializes spe-cializes in rural mental health and family business consultation. consulta-tion. 2006 The Preston Connection Feature Service if i v Tex Davis Tex Davis, a real cowboy Tex Davis was born on the 8th of March, 1904, in Marshall, Texas. His father was a Texas ranger who was shot in the back and fell from his horse, killing him at age 22. His mother was a full-blood Apache. Tex crossed over the Snake with his mother when he was a baby. He didn't know his natural parents as he was just two years old when he was adopted in Oregon by a German farming family. He ran away from home at the age of 15. In 1919 after he left home he obtained a job in Bend, Oregon, with some homesteaders. He remembered one day when he had taken a Pinto out and rode it on the run until it sweat. The owners were angry and told him, "Always save your horse unless you are heading something some-thing off. You may need him later in the day." This was the beginning of Tex's career in livestock. Throughout the course of Tex's life he felt compelled to handwrite his own personal biography. Please direct any requests for Tex's biography to the Regional History Center. Tex Davis's business card Today's sponsored by Irfftfefii QiittiliidBfcJililViril , I REALTY, INCj -J Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon 913 914 915 916 917 918 . f, . Cj . Ci f 8453 7751 6947 5639 6439 7043 Plenty of sun. Highs Slight chance of a Times of sun and Mix of sun and Sunshine. Highs in Plenty of sun. Highs in the mid 80s and thunderstorm. clouds. Highs in the clouds. Highs in the the mid 60s and in the low 70s and lows in the low 50s. upper 60s and lows mid 50s and lows in lows in the upper lows in the low 40s. in the upper 40s. the upper 30s. 30s. Sunrise Sunset Sunrise Sunset Sunrise Sunset Sunrise Sunset Sunrise Sunset Sunrise Sunset 6:56 AM 7:29 PM 6:57AM 7 27 PM 6:58 AM 7:25 PM 6:59 AM 7:24 PM 7:00 AM 752 PM 7:00 AM 7:20 PM Utah At A Glance Moon Phases Logan 7949 6-. I Ogden w av tm Salt Lake Citv O 8260 V Vernal rrovo 7555 8049 J m 7751 Full Last Sep 7 Sep 14 O Q) New First Sep 22 Sep 30 UV Index Thu 914 8 Very High Fri 915 7 High Sat 916 7 High Sun 917 ? High Mon 918 7 High The UV Index is measured on a 0-1 1 number scale, with a higher UV Index showing the need for greater skin protection. pro-tection. 0 iR-. .. 3iM11 Area Cities Beaver Blanding Brigham City Cedar City Delta Elko, NV Evanston, WY Farmington, NM Fillmore Flagstaff, AZ IsMNMsMwW 48 t-storm 54 t-storm 53 pt sunny 49 t-storm 54 t-storm 42 pt sunny 46 t-storm 49 t-storm 56 t-storm 40 t-storm Grand Jet, CO Green River Heber City Kanab Logan Mcab Mt. Pleasant Ogden Park City Preston, ID 76 57 77 53 65 45 73 50 79 49 79 54 71 48 82 57 67 50 79 45 t-storm t-storm t-storm t-storm pt sunny t-storm t-storm pt sunny t-storm pt sunny Price Provo Richfield Roosevelt Salt Lake City Sandy St. George Tooele Vernal Wendover 62 48 t-storm 75 55 pt sunny 75 49 t-storm 67 47 t-storm 60 pt sunny 58 t-storm 67 pt sunny 56 pt sunny 77 51 t-storm 81 56 pt sunny 82 79 89 81 Very nice brick duplex in Glines area. Large fenced back yard perfect for children. Very close to schools and town. Each unit has 2 bedrooms, 1 12 bath and a 1 car garage. Call Pat Harrell today for an appointment 828-5063. "Expect the Best" Pat Harrell, Agent, GRI, CRS 828-5063 ASPEN BROOK REALTY INC. 1340 West Highway 40, Vernal, UT 84078 Office: (435) 789-7555 . Fax: 781-2913 TD1 I |