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Show 16 Vernal Express Wednesday, April 3, 1996 wealth Working out marriage differences .Which of the following do you think is. basic to making a marriage work? a. How much love you show to each other on a daily basis. b. How similar -you are to each other on basic goals and values. c. The attitude of admiration and respect you have for your partner. d. The ability to talk about your differences and solve problems together. to-gether. The answer is "d" though the other oth-er qualities certainly help set the stage for communication. Without a track record for solving problems together couples battle and battle again, battle and withdraw or even hold back dealing with important problems. Couples become frustrated frustrat-ed and discouraged as they spin their wheels with, problems they can't resolve. Once couple's have a "working" relationship they can engage each other on a variety of sensitive topics top-ics with confidence. They can eventually work through their problems. prob-lems. This ability couples have to work out differences creates trust for bringing up other difficulties. They can fine tune, their relationship relation-ship to meet their mutual wants and desires. How do couples work out their differences? .What are the ground rules for successful problem solving? solv-ing? : FOR BOTH OF YOU: 1. One person has the floor at a time. The person who has the floor has the right to be listened to without with-out interruption. He or she needs to complete their thoughts and express feelings with a good listener who is trying to understand. The person who has the floor can keep the floor or to yield it when requested. 2. Agree to discuss one problem at a time. The topic under discussion discus-sion will touch on other potential LOOK OUT! A GOOD NEWSPAPER AD WILL HIT YOU RIGHT SMACK BETWEEN THE EYES. ' A good newspaper ad is an awesome thing. it will jump off the page and grab you. ,lt will pique your interest and draw you in. Then, once you're in its grip, it will provide needed information. You can even saye it. Right now, your attention is focused on this ad and the points it makes about newspaper advertising. , But we could just as easily be selling cars of cornbread mix. Or your company's products and services. When people turn to their paper they turn there with interest. Which means that's where your advertising message needs to be. ' With all the choices available, it's difficult deciding how best to advertise your business. . But everything becomes a little simpler when you remember one rule. 1 issues and problems. Make a mental men-tal note to bring up the new issue in a separate discussion. Keep focused on the issue at hand. 3. Discuss the present problem only. Instances from the past shouldn't be brought up unless they are clear examples of how the current cur-rent problem is part of an ongoing pattern. Even at that, concentrate on the current situation. Don't bring up past problems to get even or to change the subject. 4. Allow time for tensions to decrease. de-crease. Each person needs time to think through what has been said. Follow up sessions on the same topic may be necessary. 5. Summarize any commitments made or solutions to be carried out. FOR THE SPEAKER: 1. Choose a good time. Use good timing when bringing up a topic. Be aware of the partner's stress level lev-el and schedule. Try to discuss a distressing topic while it is still current. cur-rent. Discuss sensitive issues in private. pri-vate. Be aware of your partner's readiness to receive the information. informa-tion. 2. Use common courtesy. Don't use profanity, yelling, name calling or other forms of derogatory address ad-dress to make your point. Describe how you feel when a particular action ac-tion occurs. Don't attack the listener's listen-er's character or personality. The most important part of problem-solving problem-solving is how the other person feels about you after the conversation conversa-tion is over. Speak in a way that preserves their dignity and self-respect. 3. Use a calm tone of voice. Both partners should be seated. Don't try to bring up an issue while you are angry unless you know your partner can handle your emotions. 4. Don't overload. The speaker gives his or her opinions in bite-sized bite-sized chunks so .the listener isn't overloaded. On key comments, ask 4 "ifcteT" u U2J to see if the listener understood the point you were trying to make. 5. Show you understand that their point of view and situation counts. Lower defensiveness by recognizing recogniz-ing at the outset that your partner has a valid point of view and will have ample opportunity to express it. Show by your remarks that you are concerned about any special circumstances cir-cumstances the listener may be experiencing. ex-periencing. FOR THE LISTENER: 1. Stay in the listener role. Until you get the floor, you are stuck as a listener. Don't give your own opinion opin-ion or counter-argument to what is being said. A good listener learns to put their opinions and emotions on hold until he or she legitimately gains the floor. Don't smuggle in your own opinions as leading questions. ques-tions. 2. Try to "read the feelings" of your spouse and what he or she is saying. Don't get hung up on provocative words or details you don't agree with. Stick to the main point the speaker is trying to make and don't quarrel with the way he or she tried to make it. 3. Summarize key points. Your only role is to listen, reflect back what you are hearing, ask relevant questions and try to understand the speaker's point of view. Summarize or paraphrase key points to verify with the speaker that true understanding under-standing is taking place. 4. Watch your nonverbal communication. commu-nication. As a listener, make sure your facial expression, posture, tone of voice and body language isn't expressing an attitude of disbelief, contempt or disinterest while you are "mouthing" the correct words. An attitude of caring and empathy is just as important as the skill you show in the actual listening process. None of this is easy to do. Stick to the ground rules and you'll have the best change of working out your differences, , ..-. mmm UBATC technology center wins award The Uintah Basin Applied Technology Center is among five finalist teams to receive an award from the U.S. West Foundation's "Connecting Teachers with Technology Program." The five teams of Utah teachers were selected select-ed from schools throughout the state. The Technology Center will be awarded $8,000 in recognition of its technology-focused program which involves the establishment of a new' "Electronic Communications Center" (ECC) within a new executive execu-tive lab. The lab will provide a capstone cap-stone training program for juniors and seniors, complete with individual individ-ual workstations and state-of-the-art office equipment technology and computers. The new lab will be located lo-cated at the Vernal campus. The ECC will be a working model of an enhanced business communications communi-cations center. Here, students, staff, parents, businesses and the community commu-nity will be able to see and experience experi-ence the possible applications of advanced business technology within with-in their homes and workplaces. Team members receiving the . award include Elaine Muir, Diane Mecham, Denise Edwards, Jean Mold and Kay Smith. Other schools receiving an $8,000 finalist award include American Fork High School, Barrah Elementary in American Fork and the Jordan Valley Center in Sandy. First-place award recipients are from Dixie Middle School in S. George. The award includes a $12,000 team grant and laptop computers com-puters for each team member. Eve Mary Verde, U.S. West Foundation manager in Utah, said, "This awards program is intended to assist teachers in learning to use new technologies that make the best use of modern communications in the classroom." & SPRING BREAK SPECIALS W II Uf U'WU tJ iff m Mil ."m m - j tm Mtf :r "wruituj 11,000 mW rs& i,322A dd AAA stock i3i3 c. Red-Clean i i Jllll Wh.le-loaded ift. A "es 1 aaJvVw I GroatMPG m . jur - .1 1 f . i - a. . a wiPf Al 87 DODGE L . n DAKOTA ftV A m i irni 11 11 111 2$ionnn nAi!5iER $3J00 W i m n ar at mm m mm . i i r Xk A&IUUV HM StPCH I93144B f. iJSJr Slock 95 1098 $11 d A A CreamRed Is Red-Like New .1.JLIIU Great MPG SVA4 j low mite, WlClWV 1 iQJ Wildlife personnel give awards at banquet Mark Hadley, DWR WUdlife Media Specialist Four Division of Wildlife Resources local area personnel were honored by the Utah Chapters of the Wildlife Society and American Fisheries Society, at a recent re-cent co-sponsored awards banquet. The banquet was held Feb. 29, in conjunction with the Wildlife Society's annual meeting and the American Fisheries Society's winter win-ter technical meeting. "The awards banquet is a forum to honor our peers and the community commu-nity at large, with awards relative to conservation efforts," said Don Paul, president of the Wildlife Society's state chapter. Pulling together wildlife biologists biolo-gists from throughout the Uintah Basin, to share ideas and coordinate efforts to help the area's wildlife, earned Steven Brayton a Certificate of Appreciation from the society. Brayton, of Dutch John, a Division wildlife biologist at Flaming Gorge, was presented the award for resurrecting the Uintah Basin Biologists Group. The organization, orga-nization, comprised of state, federal, feder-al, county, university and Ute tribe biologists, meets quarterly to discuss dis-cuss and coordinate wildlife work in the Uintah Basin. Utah farm grain stocks March 1 stocks of barley at all locations lo-cations in Utah were at lower levels than the previous year, while stocks of all wheat were higher, according to the Utah Agricultural Statistics Service. All wheat stored at off-farm locations loca-tions totaled 5.1 million bushels on March 1, which was 1 percent higher high-er than the previous year. Total barley bar-ley stored (on and off farms) in Utah on March 1, at 2.4 million bushels, was down 23 percent from the previous year's level. Barley stored on Utah farms, at 1.3 million bushels, accounted for 54 percent of the stocks. Nationally, all wheat stocks March 1, is estimated at 826 million mil-lion bushels in all positions, down 15 percent from March 1, 1995. "This group now possesses an invaluable in-valuable vehicle for knowledge and data sharing that should act as a template for other geographical areas ar-eas in the state," said Terry Messmer, past president of the Wildlife Society's Utah chapter. "Without Steve's initiative these opportunities would have been missed." For their success at creating the Book Cliffs Initiative, which helped bring the Division and Bureau of Land Management (BLM) together in Book Cliffs management, Walt Donaldson and David Olsen, along with Paul Andrews, BLM area manager for the Book Cliffs, were presented Conseration Achievement Awards. Both Donaldson and Olsen are residents of Vernal. Donaldson serves as the Division's Northeast Region supervisor, while Olsen serves as a Northeast Region wildlife biologist. The Book Cliffs Initiative was born six-and-a-half years ago. "To anyone who has recently ventured ven-tured into the Book Cliffs, the results re-sults of this labor are becoming clear," Messmer said. "Many of us can only dream of leaving such a visible legacy in habitat and wildlife conservation." - , J If you would like to adopt this well mannered, de-barked, 6 year old male Collie, or any other pet, call the Uintah County Animal Shelter at 789-5601. 789-5601. Mon. through Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m.; and Sat. 9 a.m.-12 a.m.-12 noon. 0T |