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Show Kids should have high self-esteem I want my kids to feel good about themselves. I want them to feel confident con-fident and understand that they are important people. I want their self-esteem self-esteem to be sky-high! But if we do not realize that there is a balance, we are asking for trouble. tripping. Pete would get mad and push. Kent was visibly disappointed when Peter would score even when Pete was on the same team. When I questioned Kent, he fairly hissed, "He thinks he's so hot. I hate him!" I is Children & school LILY ESKELSEN UEA President One 11 -year-old gentleman in my sixth grade was an ace athlete. The other kids longed for Kent to be placed on their team. He was their ticket to fame. Winning the game was a sure thing. With him, there was even a chance of beating those increasingly brittle-boned fossil teachers in the Spring Soccer Superbowl. Needless to say, Kent's self-esteem self-esteem was rather healthy. Or so it seemed. Then Pete transferred in from another school. He was good. When he was goalie, nothing got through. When he was dribbling, no one could take the ball away from him. He was a new star, and Kent saw, for the first time, a threat to his status. I saw bullying behavior I had not seen before. Kent would make fun of Pete if he missed a question in class. Class soccer games turned into battlegrounds. Kent was caught It took a long time to work out this relationship. They never actually actu-ally became friends. I've always wondered what could have prevented such animosity. I think a lot of the problem had to do witl the way Kent defined his success. It was always in terms of being better than someone else. His self-esteem depended on his ranking in the group. It's a great temptation for parents and teachers to pride their children on a "good," "better," "best" scale, but it does them a disservice. In a given situation, there will always be someone we can beat and someone who can beat us. A person's per-son's self-confidence should come from knowing he's done his best; from knowing that she'll be valued, even when someone does better. Praise and recognition need not be jealously hoarded. Every child should have the chance to be a star. |