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Show Ploff .0 Net balls count? The World Championship Jive-Artist Jive-Artist and Gamesmanship Contest was held Thursday as James "Newcombe" Waldo, Chronicle copy editor, and Cliff "Shaft Williams, the Chrony's answer to Arthur Ashe, stepped onto the courts in first round action of the First Annual Daily Utah Chronicle Tennis Championships. As we jumped into Waldo's Mustang, we knew it would be a match to remember, if we could find some courts to play on. The tennis team was using the University's and Reservoir Park was full. "My shoulder hurts," said Cliff, "maybe we should play some other time." "Don't worry," sez Waldo, "we'll find a place to play." So we trucked over to East High, where the only free court looked like the married student housing after the sewer backed up. "Man, I can't play here, it's all wet," moaned Cliff. "Are we discussing your playing ability or the condition of the courts?" retorted Waldo. "I know," sez Waldo, "there are some courts up by Bonneville Golf Course that nobody uses. You could lose up there in peace, Clifford." were made while one was on the ground laughing. "I hesitated on that one because I didn't think net balls counted," said Cliff, playing dumb. "Was that one in?" asked Williams as one of his backhands sailed over the fence and onto the course. Waldo took the first set, 6-4. "Waldo started out the second set strong; with the score 15-40 on Cliff's serve, Waldo had at least two chances for match point. "Ploff," said the ball as it met the net again. Cliff lobbed it over the net on his serve. "Zowie!" sez Waldo, "I'll finish him off with a slam." "AAAuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhh!!" yelled Waldo, taken by surprise. As the ball sailed by and Waldo's racket hit the ground, Waldo could be heard muttering obscene remarks the human ear had never heard. Even Waldo had never heard some before. Finally, after Waldo's fourth match point, he put Cliff away with a good backhand. 'We'se people's good in basketball, no one never said nuthin' bout tennis," said Cliff looking for a suitable alibi. "Loser buys," laughed Waldo. "Usually," said Cliff, "but this time..." At last the game started. Waldo promptly lost his first serve on a double fault. "There's your point," sez Waldo, as he continued to lose the first game. "Ace" prophesized Cliff. "Ploff" came the sound as ball hit net. "Son of Ace," pleaded Williams as the second serve followed in its father's footstep's. And Cliff too lost his serve. "All I can think of is liver and onions," said Cliff, "I can't play when I'm thinking of liver and onions." "You must always be thinking of .liver and nions," sez Waldo, as always saying the most obvious thing. The game continued as both attempted to psych-out and out-psych the other. Most points |