OCR Text |
Show Ariestotle: Today is the last day of the rest of your first life. B.S.: Be bullish on America (or at least Utah). Gemini 7: Today you will be asked to sign a petition to drain the fountain in front of the library. Don't do it your girl friend is floating on her back. r Lung Cancer: Don'fsit on any tacks today or it will be a real bummer. i f Leo the Lion: If you don't have a job yet, don't feel too bad, neither does Todd Hayes. Virgo the you guessed it: Thirty-four Thirty-four people got molested on 34th - Street in Ogden last night, don't you wish you were one of them? Libration: Tomorrow you will turn into a fish in the Union fish pond. Make sure you wear your waterproof watch. Scipio: Today someone will light your fire. Just make sure they don't burn your foot in doing it. Sagitttttarius: Tommorrow Trudy is going to be a good dog. Give her a bone, Madman. Capricorni: Tonight four campus cops will come to your dorm room and accuse you of stealing the bubble gum machines from atop their cars. Plead the fifth. Aquarium: Stay in your bed today. Fourteen rattle snakes are lying in wait for you in your second dresser drawer. Piece of Ate: Dont marsh any mellows today, there is a shortage on Rice Krispies. FARrrrr Out Fred"! |