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Show pEUEME IT lOR NUTS SByJimNNaldo "sez Hoyo one. fine morning in the Indian summer, "but this is h autious a day tor sitting around the city, friend Waldo. What say , keoff into the hills of the surrounding mountains and, native American style, indulge in the wonders which the forests have to provide" v crazy?" I asks' the real question in my mind being how friend late of Brahmaputra High could put together such a long string of 8'Jj.and have it come out coherent, "we would be out of our ever iJnds to hit me hills today." Who sez we ain't out of our ever livin' minds in the first place," rejoins Hoyo his wit showing through once again as a dull yellow tinge on his seth. What I means," I clarifies, "is that we would not only have to be crazy, ihich we is, but suicidal, which I isn't." How so?" asks Hoyo. Well" I sez, "this weekend is the start of that great American nasoilinity contest, the deerhunt. Each year, between 100,000 and 150000 great outdoorsmen hit the beautiful hills of this wonderous late and attempt to slaughter everything that moves, breathes, or nakes a sound." But why do these people go out and do such a thing?" asks Hoyo, ncredulous. Well," I sez, "there are many reasons. Probably the most logical of hese'is that the deer herds must be thinned each year or the deer will lie of starvation." But why don't they get professional hunters to thin the herds?" asks Hoyo, "or at least make people have professional guides with them vhen they hunt?" Why don't be ridiculous," I sez, "that would show good sense, as well ss denying that great American truth which says that anyone who is a nale American has the inherent knowledge of the arts of stalking, hooting, and woodsmanship." Zorg," sez Hoyo, turning a bright shade of green, "are you sure that his isn't a "Twilight Zone" script." Nope," I sez, "this is for real. For example, take the casualty lists for he first day. Two people killed when another hunter shot them lecause they "sounded" like a deer." Sounded?" exclaimed Hoyo, "didn't they even try to see what was naking the sound?" I guess not," I sez, "but don't interrupt. Next, one person killed when hetnjck he was a passenger in rolled down an embankment. And last mtnot least, five people killed by heart attacks or some unknown ause while on the hunt." Zorg," sez Hoyo, nearly passing out, "Daniel Boone must be turning ver in his grave." If so," I replies, "it is a good thing that his grave isn't in the Utah lountains." A'hy do you say that?" sez Hoyo. Well," I sez, "if it were, someone would probably think that the sound 'asmadebyadeerand fill him full of lead." |