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Show SBRJEM: IT Vt Lgy Lam Laaa H Lag vJLasi H U agrees. "However, Sterling, how can Mr. Jack spend the money if it hadn't been given to him?" "Oh," sez Sterling, "Mr. Jack can do anything." "So we have seen," sez Hoyo, "but can you think of any reason other than that?" "Oh, no," cries Sterling, "don't ask me that. The coach told us that we should never, under any circumstances, think." "Well," sez Hoyo, "mayhaps it is"a good thing." Leaving sometime later, we finds that we is still troubled by this more than just a little toothy problem. "Ah, well," I sez, "it can't bee all that bad. After all, athletes are only human." "Oh yeah?" challenges Hoyo, "you ever eaten with one?" "Yo ho," I sez to Hoyo one fine Sunday night as we had entrenched en-trenched ourselves in the beautious Commons amongst the hordes of freshman and other rodents, "but is that not Sterling Ripoff, boyhood friend and football player for our side, coming this way with the look of joining us?" "You mean the dude that looks like an orangutan holding the platter covered with the most succulent of Union food service fare, the the oil-slick-burger?" replies Hoyo, looking up from his advanced mediocrity text. "That's the one," I sez, as Sterling swoops down into the seat next to us. "Hi ya, Waldo old boy," sez Sterling in his most cool of voices, "How's the world treating ya?" "Not bad," I sez, trying to decide how long I can keep a conversation con-versation going with a borderline trainable who has a completed passport from the other side, "you seem to be doing pretty well." "Oh, youse mean my food," sez Sterling, shoving an entire burger into his mouth and swollowing it whole "Yeah, the coach sez we should eat all the food that our little tummies can carry." "But how can you afford it?" sez Hoyo, knowing that at least his food stamps are not accepted in the Commons. "Afford?" sez Sterling, "why that s easy. The coach pays for it." "What he means," I sez to Hoyo, "is that we are paying for it. That is what ASUU gave athletics m $240,000 for." "$240,000," screaches Hoyo after he ragains consciousness, "man, that is one awful lot of burgers." "Ah, we don't use all the money just for food," sez Sterling, the nerve center some call his brain reading disaproval in Hoyo's tone. "What else do you use it for?" I asks. "Well," sez Sterling, "there are the nights we spend at motels before games, and the steak dinners then, and all those related, expenses." ex-penses." "Hubba," sez Hoyo, "why don't you stay at the other school's dorms when you is on the road?" "He didn't mean while they were on the road," I corrects, "those measures are also for home games." "Zowie," sez Hoyo, "how do our elected officers in ASUU let them get away with this?" "Well," I sez, "there were rumblings rum-blings about not giving them the money." "Ah, that would not be a good thing," sez Sterling, "after all, the coach would not like that." "And why not?" sez Hoyo. "Well," replies Sterling, "for one thing,' his majesty Mr. Jack sez that he has already spent the money, so they have to give it to him." "Arrgh," ..:- Hoyo, "I wish my parents worked that way." "It would make life easier," I |