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Show My own thing leftist hunt bags prey BY ROGER EKINS " The other day I went elitist hunting. It's really not too difficult diffi-cult to find elitists on this campus if you know where to look for them. Since I didn't really feel like walking all the way over to "Frat Row" or the "East-Tute, 1 went over to the library and headed for the sacred "Honors Study" on the third floor. I had just read a fellow colom-nists's colom-nists's bitter indictment against Pete Dixon's efforts to provide equal parking privileges for all students stu-dents on this campus regardless of race, creed, color or credit hours. I wanted to find that columnist. I was curious to see if he had survived sur-vived the morning's frozen tundra as he trudged the block or so from his car to the library. I was in luck. I not only found the author of the column, but I found him exchanging impressive vocabulary words with one of our campus' most strongly proclaimed elitistsa eli-tistsa Delta Phi 3.83 G.P.A. Republican. your column that 'the suffering and fear was great,' I argued, iv can you wish all that su ing and fear upon poor k.ds fresh out of high school who are going through a thoroughly traumatic xpeiejust trying to fmd their way around campus? Why make .t worse for them?" Economy of suffering "Ah," responded the columnist, colum-nist, "you are overlooking the 'economy of suffering.' " "The economy of what?" "The economy eco-nomy of suffering," explained the other, "is based on the premise that it is greater for a few to bear all the suffering than for all of us to bear a little suffering. And since we are obviously more intelligent intel-ligent and therefore more worthy of special privileges than those 'sniveling freshmen,' they should suffer while we must by rights bask in the Divine Grace of the upper echelons of academia." Started to laugh but they re all guilty a About that time 1 began , ; very uncomfortable j ': "Honors Study" room sol,,, over to the Huddle where I , the rest of the day. I can't cigarette smoke and I getve.'' barrassed whenever a gjr past me who is obviously no bra, but at least 1 knew t the Huddle I would be safe ( the derision of elitists. Inhumanity of elitism Pete Dixon and his men" have surely not solve! parking problems. Those prof, will probably never be solved at least these people have ie nized the absurdity and if , will, the inhumanity of elii After all, how much different there between the bigot who, blacks are naturally inferior should therefore be kept k slums and a senior college sir who insists that "sniveling t men" should be suppresses cause of their lack of educn Really serious? "Hey, are you guys really serious in accusing Dixon of 'moral turpiture?' " 1 asked. They smiled and winked knowingly at each other. It was obvious they didn't think I even knew what "turpitude" meant. However 1 had already looked the word up in the massive Funk and Wagnall's dictionary just outside the "Honors Study" room and was prepared to do them battle. "What's wrong with having a little equality on campus?" I asked. "Freshmen are people too, you know." "Goat week" rationale That's when I started to laugh. I didn't mean to, but I just couldn't help myself. I mean these guys really believed that stuff. They smiled politely and even chuckled occasionally, but they were deadly serious. "You mean that because you have more credit hours you figure you're more intelligent and should receive parking priority? I'll bet you'd even favor handing out preferential pre-ferential parking spaces according to G.P.A.!" "Certainly," replied Mr. 3.83. "That way I'd get parking park-ing space number five or so." Law School plans About that time I overheard a couple of other elitists discussing their post Law School plans. "Why should we be expected to defend those poor people from the slums and ghettos?" one was arguing. "Not only would we get very little money for our efforts, What kind of an institutic: higher learning are we subjer. ourselves to if, at the end of: years of supposed learning, still look down on other kin beings? Sacrifice small comforts Now I realize that the p content of the column 1 have cized was intended as humo; I wonder how hard the free and sophomores are laugfc wonder how many upper ck of this University consider: younger associates as infer! less deserving of equal rights : haps the weeks to follow i swer this question for me. 1 only hope that the major.: supposedly educated peop!; willing to sacrifice a few she: sonal comforts in the intere: the principle of equality. At first my elitist friends followed fol-lowed a line of argument that smacked strongly of fraternity "goat week" rationale. "Well, we had to park in the stadium or next to Merrill Engineering when we were lower classmen, so they should have to do it too." "After all," interjected the other one, "we've earned the right to have better parking places." "But you even admitted in |