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Show " On Campus NJ (By the author of "Rally Round the Flag, Boys.'", "Dobie Gilli," etc.) WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER The trouble with early morning classes is that you're too sleepy. At late morning classes you're too hungry. At early afternoon classes you're too logy. At late afternoon classes you're too hungry again. The fact is and we might as well face it there is no good time of day to take a class. What shall we do then? Abandon our colleges to the ivy? I say no! I say America did not become the hope of mankind man-kind and the world's largest producer of butterfats and tallow tal-low by running away from a fight ! If you're always too hungry or too sleepy for class, then let's hold classes when you're not too hungry or sleepy: namely, while you're eating or sleeping. Classes while eating are a simple matter. Just have a lecturer lec-turer lecture while the eaters eat. But watch out for noisy foods. I mean who can hear a lecturer lecture when everybody every-body is crunching celery or matzo or like that? Serve quiet stuff like anchovy paste on a doughnut, or steaming bowls of lamb fat. Now let us turn to the problem of learning while sleeping. sleep-ing. First, can it be done? ' Yes, it can. Psychologists have proved that the brain is definitely able to assimilate information during sleep. Take, for instance, a recent experiment conducted by a leading Eastern university (Stanford). A small tape recorder was placed under the pillow of the subject, a freshman named Wrobert Wright. When Wrobert was fast asleep, the recorder re-corder was turned on. Softly, all through the night, it repeated re-peated three statements in Wrobert's slumbering ear: 1. Herbert Spencer lived to the age of 109 and is called "The Founder of English Eclectic Philosophy." 2. The banana plant is not a tree but a large perennial herb. 3. The Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated in 1914 at Sarajevo by a young nationalist named Mjilas Cvetnic, who has been called "The Trigger of World War I." ' 1 When Wrobert awoke in the morning, the psychologists said to him, "Herbert Spencer lived to the age of 109. What is he called?" Wrobert promptly answered, "Perennial Herb." Next they asked him, "What has Mjilas Cvetnik been called?" Wrobert replied, "Perennial Serb." Finally they said, "Is the banana plant a tree?" "To be honest," said Wrobert, "I don't know too much about bananas. But if you gents want any information about razor blades, I'm your man." "Well," said the psychologists, "can you tell us a blade that shaves closely and cleanly without nicking, pricking, scratching, scraping, scoring, gouging, grinding, flaying or flensing?" "Yes, I can," said Wrobert. "Personna ' Stainless Steel Blades. Not only does Personna give you a true luxury shave, but it gives you heaps and gobs and bushels and barrels of true luxury shaves each one nearly as truly luxurious lux-urious as the first." "Land's sake!" said the psychologists. "Moreover," said Wrobert, "Personna is available not only in the Double Edge style blade, but also in the Injector Injec-tor style blade." "Great balls of fire!" said the psychologists. "So why don't you rush to your dealer and get some Personnas at once?" said Wrobert. "We will," said the psychologists, twinkling, "but there is something we have to do first." Whereupon they awarded Wrobert an honorary L.L.B. (Lover of Luxury Blades) degree, and then, linking arms, they sang and danced and bobbed for apples till the camp-fire camp-fire had turned to embers. .i !!. MilS Sliulm:lll If you're looking for an honorary degree yourself, ire recommend recom-mend B.S. (Burma Share") from the makers of Personna. It soaks rings around any other lather; it comes in regular or . menthol. |
