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Show The Science Of Sniffing By GENE TOWNS END Chronicle Staff Writer The phrase that should get a girl every time (if tactfully used) is: ,Doll that perfume you are wearing really turns me on." But in this day of specialization, those sweet remarks have significance not only to the man with the moves, but also to a few men studying theories on odor. This group of scientific "know-its," not belonging to the elite class of "space men" (their union is down on them for not paying their dues) have been paying their debt to society by analyzing different types of odor. Of course it had always been my past experience ex-perience that things either smelled good or bad. (Like the guy who goes with a girl who uses a 49 cent deodorant for a 98 cent odor.) But odors are now scientifically classified into seven categories. I GUESS scientists derive pleasure from their hardened hell of mathematics, but society is somewhat out of tune and learns reading and writing while de-emphasizing math. But odors can be talked about in the realm of humanistic qualities and therefore are easier to understand. Like the guy who smokes, but is in love with an 0S girl, will often find it to his advantage ad-vantage to use mouth-wash before his date. The odor given off by mouth-wash has been described de-scribed by scientists as "camphoraceous." Many will recall the sweat smell after a basketball game which scientists have pegged as "musky." (Sometimes the gym smells like that before a game.) Even the pretty girl who received an orchid for Easter cannot escape the scientific lingo. The smell of her orchid (unless it wilted) is termed "floral." The classic example is provided by "Utah's playground," the Great Salt Lake, which at its stagnate best can be called "putrid." (Have you ever wondered why people are moving from the city into the suburbs? (That chicken factory in Murray doesn't smell so good either.) Anyway, we at the University are worried about this problem of odor and the why of it. The reason that the Great Salt Lake is putrid is because its molecules (giving off the foul odor) are short a few electrons. (So are some girls for that matter, but that doesn't limit their charge.) Mouth-wash molecules are shaped liked miniature toilet bowls which is somewhat different from the floral molecule, sort of "bed-panish" "bed-panish" in shape. THE BASKETBALL gym smells pungent because be-cause its air molecules have an excessive posi-trve posi-trve charge. It is these different shapes which each "odorific" molecule possesses that registers on a two inch area of nerve fiber located in the upper part of the nose. In turn the brain whispers sweet nothings into your ear like "hey Jack, that onion soup that blue-eyed blond is eating sure smells good," or "hang a fast left, we just passed the diaper ward of the county hospital." 'However, science has rallied to the cause and whether fighter or lover we will be saved from the undoing of odor. |