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Show ;j HOWDY FOLKS It was a i couple of days before Thanks-! Thanks-! giving and things was jumpin' ; at our house. Bill and Pat are here from Elko, Nevada, with little Billy and Cherie Ann. And to make matters better, Paul and Kathy was here from 'way out yonder in Orem, Utah. They had Charley with them too. Her name is Charlene, but I call her "Charley." Those kid's mammas was out in the kitchen with Audrey, which is their Grandma. Their daddys was trying out some ! records on the stereo while the i dog was barking at something he saw outside. Someone had left the TV on and the volume was turned up high on all this. The stereo wailed and moaned as the Beatles beat their drums. Like I said, that house was jumping. I was rared back in the big easy chair, resting my eyes, but they kept flutterin' on account ac-count of all that noise. I wasn't doing no good anyway, so I really didn't care when all three of those grand-kids ! ganged around my chair. "How come Thanksgiving, Grandpa?" Cherie Ann started i Dad-gummit, I wish those kids would quit callin' me "grandpa," even if they ARE my daughter's kids. They should call me "Roy," which is what I been trying to teach ' them ever since they was born. I But their mammas raise cain '. and won't let 'em call me "; ; "Roy," and their daddy won't l! 1 either. j, ; Shucks, anybody with a thimble full of brains can just look at me and tell right off that I don't look old enough j to be called "grandpa." This 1 alius gets me all riled up, but night. She was in love with him too and she'd alius cry when he'd go home at nine o'clock. He had to get in bed early so he would feel like fightin' the next day. Ya'see, they really was supposed to be enemies, so during the daylight they'd pretend pre-tend to be bitter enemies. "Is sweethearts enemies before be-fore they are married?" That Charley sure could ask some migthy tough questions. "Well, sometimes, but not always." I was hedging. "But they're always enemies AFTER they're married." She shook her head knowingly. "My daddy told me so, an' he knows everything." Maybe so, but quit butting in and let me finish telling you how Thanksgiving started." At this, she settled down again. "Now where was I? Oh yes, ya'see, this girl Pocahontas was real pretty, an' there was more than one guy after her. One of them was a dishwasher in a chili joint. His name was Nelson Ne-lson but everybody called him by his nickname, which was "Lord," cause he had such high and mighty ways. But he wasn't much to look at 'cause he got drunk one night and rolled his hot-rod over on the freeway. When he got outta the hospital, he only had one arm, one leg and one eye. Pocahontas did'nt care much for him, and besides, he was a mean cuss. Anyway, she was in love with John. Then there was this feller who was alius ridin' a tote-gote tote-gote around. His name was Revere and he used to be in the tea business in Boston. But he got disgusted with the high taxes and turned into a hippie. His first name was Paul. Anyway, Any-way, he was always tryin' to Adams had got around a table, ta-ble, over in Geneva and decided to call off the war and be friends for a while. Ya'see, they had run outta money with which to buy bullets from the Japanese. So they took all those roasted roast-ed turkeys and everybody got around a big table out in the woods and they had a dinner of Thanksgiving that they hadn't all been killed before they run outta bullets. The Indians In-dians and thewhites all ate together to-gether and this is how inter-gration inter-gration was started in the first place. "Since Captain John Smith was the leader, he had to give a toast. "I had toast for breakfast." Cherie stood up. "With jelly and peanut butter." "I did too!" Charley was not to be outdone. Billy made no comment cause he was almost asleep. He had fallen over on the carpet, which only goes to show how much attention kids pay to anyone who is trying to educate them. But, then, he's only three years old. Maybe he'll improve later. "Okay, akay, you all had toast for breakfast. Now shut up and let me finish." Gad!, those kids sure do like to eat. They musta took after me. I went on: "So Captain John held up a drumstick in one hand and a bottle of Diet Pepsi in the other, and said: "Give me liberty, or give me death!" Then he sat down. All the folks clapped and cheered and ate turkey. AU but Paul Revere, that is. He jumped on his tote-gote tote-gote and roared away with Pocahontas Po-cahontas strapped to his handle bars with her screaming and hollerin' for somebody to come and rescue her. John ran after them as fast as he could, but he couldn't catch them, so he sat down and cried which ruined his Thanksgiving dinner." din-ner." At this point, I happened to look up and all three of those women was standin' there look-in' look-in' at ma with fire in their eyes. They didn't say much but I could see they were mad. They took all three of those kids in another room and shut the door to have a talk with them. They had a talk with me later. Seems like a person can't get any support from kid's parents any more. I guess those kids will just have to grow up in ignorance, but it won't be no fault of mine 'cause I do what I can to educate edu-cate them. I figure it's my duty. SEE YA'ALL LATER don't do any good. Those ' daughters of mine sure are bull-headed, and so are their husbands. .i t But there wasn't nothing I : : i could do but ignore that ;: J "grandpa" stuff, so I lit right in with thise kid's education of l ii early American history., j'jl Well, ya'see it was like this." li lj They all sit real still on the I ! carpet at my feet, and listened, listen-ed, which was unusual for i them. ,; ; "Way back in the early days,, j there was this guy whose name ; : was Captain John Smith who j was in the British Navy and . was stationed on a submarine, 1 i a little way off shore. ; ' "Well, he horsed around and ' fell in love with an Indian girl j whose name was Pocahontas, j He'd sneak around after they I quit fighting for the day and look up Pocahontas every get Pocahontas to run away with him and meet him in the tower of the Old North Church. But Pocahontas wouldn't do it 'cause she was true to John. One night while Paul was waiting in the church tower for Pocahontas, he got so dad-blamed dad-blamed mad 'cause she didn't show up, he turned the latem over and set the church on fire. It burned to the ground 'cause the firemen was makin' Christmas Christ-mas toys and didn't have time to come to the fire. Paul jumped in the ocean and swam out to the submarine where Christopher Columbus had a couple of lights burning to guide him through the choppy chop-py sea. During the excitement of the church fire, the British soldiers ganged up and stole the turkeys tur-keys the Indians had and hauled haul-ed off and killed a Whole slew of 'em, I mean Indians. Next day, they killed all the turkeys and roasted 'em over the hot coals of the burned down church. In the meantime, the Indian Chiefs and George Washington and John Quincey |