OCR Text |
Show Commercials get a 4bah humbug' When my almost-six-year-old daughter told me the other day that not only was Kraft macaroni and cheese more cheesier, but it causes fewer cavities, I about did something I have been tempted to do a number of times of late. I about threw a brick through the television screen. You know, it's not the television shows that I hate. I can turn them off if . I don't like them. I can be selective. But it's pretty hard to be selective of inane commercials. All at once, right in the middle of your favorite show, there it is: an Olympic gymnast tryng to sell feminine products, or someone worrying about the big sale they are going to miss because they have ring around the collar. It's enough to make me wonder about the whole human race. Have they really slippedto such a point that this is the type of advertising that works? It's a sad commentary on life. Of course, one of my least favorite has got to be the cat who answers the telephone and orders his favorite catfood: "meow." Come on now, that's going just a bit too far. How stupid do thev think we are? And then there are the women's underwear commercials, particularly the profile shots of Jane Russell in her 18-hour bra and girdle. I guess those Madison Avenue ad executives figure that sells. But even worse are the ones where the woman wears the brazziere over her tight sweater, advertisers wouldn't want to offend our good taste by showing us something we shouldn't see. (vV By ? Bruce first-grader can tell you that if his 400 milligram aspirin doesn't have the punch of the competition's 800 However, the commercial immediately afterward is of a bikini-clad Tab-drinker Tab-drinker showing us how one calorie makes her look better and they show her looking better nearly all over. It's how our society thinks, I guess. Then there are the aspirin com mercials, real headaches. Now any milligram sample, he need only take two of the 400 milligram tablet to break even, and generally two 400 type are half the price of one 800 type. I guess any first-grader knows that. Don't they? Please tell me I'm not hallucinating. And then there are the political ads, common only in election years, but every bit as annoying as those that run year-round. Orrin Hatch's "I love my state" commercials, complete with all the old cliches and the beautiful shots of him talking personally to people and getting things done, are a classic example. And there is Suzie Chapstick and Dr. Chapstick and Catfish Chapstick. I'm sure that is what makes them, respectively, great skiers, basketball players and pitchers. I'm sure it is. But my all-time least favorite, and I'll quit after this one, has got to be T. Buff, with his white suit and cowboy hat, advertising furniture in the most annoying tone ever. I can only take "thank you" so often. Bah, humbug. |