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Show Page 2 Signpost May 4, l!)7:i Is There Sex After Puberty? I am not Masters. I am not Johnson. I am not a used car salesman. I am Uncle Stevie. So, guess what time it is, kids! It's sex education time! Ho, ho, kids, and are we going to have fun today. Isn't sex fun? There are so many neat things you can do with sex, right, gang! You can play games with it. You can save a dull afternoon with it. You can make babies with it. You can make movies with it. You can make enemies with it. Ho, ho, kids, you better believe your old Uncle Stevie when he tells you that sex beats the heck out of those Saturday morning cartoons.Sex is a funny thing, though, kids. You see some people won't even admit that they like sex. Pretty funny, right, gang? Ho, ho! Yes, kids, no two people feel the same way about sex, if I can say that without appearing to have my tongue caught in my cheek. Some people think that sex is perverted and evil, but they're becoming extinct. Other people think sex is for procreation. Ho, ho, kids, that's when Daddy pollinates Mommy so that the stork willl pay them a visit, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense but that's what you gullible little bastards have been falling for ... ah... Ho, ho! Sorry about that, kids. Old Uncle Stevie said a nasty word didn't he? Uncle Stevie ought to have his mouth washed out with soap. Anyway, most people don't agree about just what sex is for, so Uncle Stevie has asked an expert on the subject to come and answer our questions. Okay, kids, say "Hi!" to Dr. Edgar Transom, who is going to tell us where it's at. Dr. Transom: It's just below the abdomen, between your ... Uncle Stevie: Ho, ho, Dr. Transom is a real cut up isn't he, kids. Well, Doctor, why don't we start with masterbation? Dr. Transom: Where else, Uncle Stevie, where else? Uncle Stevie: Do you consider masterbation a sin? Dr. Transom: Certainly not. It's up to the individual to decide whether or not to watch television. Uncle Stevie: What about petting?Dr. Transom: Well, you've got to keep your hand in somehow. Practice makes perfect you know. Uncle Stevie: . Do you think sexual permissiveness is a danger to society? Dr. Transom: Well, sociologically, Russia found that carefree sex was screwing up their society. Or so I've been told. Uncle Stevie: What are your thoughts on premarital sex? Dr. Transom: It beats watching television. Uncle Stevie: Do you think that homosexuality has become socially acceptable? Dr. Transom: Look, sweetie, some of my best friends are homosexual. Want to take a dare, Uncle Stevie? Uncle Stevie: Well ... ah ... no, but thank you just the same. Tell us, Doctor, what do you think of wife-swapping? Dr. Transom: Depends on what you get for her. A friend of mine swapped his wife for a 1923 Jep-person Scalded Cat, a honey of a car. Still had the original muffler bearings. Uncle Stevie: Ho, ho, kids, it looks like we're just about out of time. Well, thank you very much, Dr. Transom, for helping to enlighten our knowledge about that fun stuff called sex. Dr. Transom: Well, thank you, Uncle Stevie, for inviting me. Say, after the show, if you're not doing anything, I'd like to show you some very interesting pictures. I can let you have half a dozen for ... Published twice weekly by the Associated Students of Weber Stale College during fall, winter and spring quarters. Entered as second class mail at the Ogden Utah, Post Office. Mailing address. Weber State College. 3750 Harrison Blvd., Ogden. Utah 84403. The opinions expressed on the editorial page of the Signpost do not necessarily represent those of the studentbody or the administration. Bonnie Cantwell Editor-in-Chief Wil Grey Managing Editor Bill Sumner .... 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STANDARD OPTICAL IS YOUR CONTACT LENS HEADQUARTERS WJ 2443 Washington Blvd. Phone 399-1 147 Oral workshops examineauthors Two Oral Interpretations and English Workshops will be offered at Weber State College, during May. The first workshop will be held May 7, 9 and 10, from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. Two hours credit will be offered for English 481. This workshop will cost $19. Three hours credit will be given for the second, workshop, which will be offered May 21, 22 and 23 from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. This workshop will cost $28.50. Registration for workshop one will be held at 6 p.m. on May 7, workshop two on May 21, in room 417 in the U.B. All classes will be held in this room. The class will be taught by Jay Clegg and Joyce Williams and according to Clegg, each participant will explore an author and his works. 0 0 aVKKiiiticUfli r r up 3 rwi Y" I THE ORGINIAL j MUSTACHE CUPS Now available in two personality favorites . . . with right! or leu nanaies in Avocaao, Harvest and (Jnestnut i ou ii una in em Dotn in Housewares, lower level. i i each c 4 d" |
