Show What Does It If Mean Menn to be he Feminine By Garth T T. T Harrison To a starved love man there may be temptations to go into the taverns seeking seek seeks ing female companionship this being one of the easiest ways to make quick contacts with women A great error is made however in assuming that because because be be- cause a woman is ornamental and seductive seductive seductive se se- se- se that she is feminine Mental health professionals can testify that the tavern or bar Is la probably the worst place to seek a spouse particularly if stability in marriage Is desired THE CUSTOM of drinking to the point of intoxication is essentially an act of hostility A womans woman's being seductive also is an act of hostility as far as psychologists are concerned Seduction is Impersonal domination in which a weaker person easily succumbs to the temptations of another through lack of self confidence and self respect Helene Deutsch Id M. M D D. a contemporary contemporary contemporary of Sigmund Freud in one of her two volumes The Psychology of Women describes four female types according to how was ed cd from early childhood experiences It ItIs Itis Itis is the masculine aggressive type who discovered early that it is unrewarding or even dangerous to be yielding and submissive in marriage or else too hazardous hazardous hazardous haz haz- to vie with a n dominant mother for the affections of oC father Fearing the consequences of passivity including including in ins in- in eluding sexuality is renounced in favor of an aggressive way of live The woman feels secure only to the extent that she has a controlling in ins influence fluence over her spouse if she marries or in professional nal affairs Prostitutes who are actually sexually frigid women somewhat fit into this category as well N NEXT EXT IS the masochistic type the woman who makes a doormat of herself and in a neurotic way sub sub- Uey provokes her husband and others to abuse her Such a person as a child never quite felt entitled to experiencing affection in a normal self respecting way Attention was more likely given only in times of illness or through unreasonably unreasonably un un- un reasonably hard spankings by father The need for affection and the management of erotic feelings somehow get all mixed up with an uncanny need to obtain a spouse who will be sadistic or who can be provoked to becoming inconsiderate neglectful and abusive What the masochistic woman wants is attention from Crom others by complaining how she has been abused Friends relatives relatives rel reI rel- rel and counselors should not fall into the trap of being sympathetic under these circumstances THE THIRD female type is the dependent dependent dependent de pendent woman the one who never dared have a power struggle as a teenager teenager teen teen- ager with mother in order to establish herself as a woman in her own right Even in her forties such a woman has difficulties making decisions is inconsistent inconsistent incon and feels guilty when disciplining ing her children and is still likely to tobe tobe tobe be seeking permission and advice from her mother over every little lilUe thing Such Sucha a woman is easily dominated by her husband to her own detriment as a nobody The i ideal eal woman is the truly feminine feminine feminine fe minine type who was fortunate to have had parents who honored loved and respected respected respected re re- re- re each other for the distinctively male and female roles that each assumed assumed assum assum- ed cd in family life liCe Blessed messed is the little lilUe girl even though homely as a mud fence Cence who has no fear about freely getting affection from both parents Instead of observing that life is unappreciated drudgery for mother mother mo mo- ther she early learns from fathers father's appreciative ap ap- ap comments and mothers mother's happiness happiness hap hap- that motherhood and wifehood are rewarding SEXUALITY WILL not be denied and suppressed in childhood but will show itself early in tender regard for others Seductiveness and its accompanying hostility hostility hos hos- will be replaced by a remarkably intuitive understanding of the needs of her infants and husband Instead of envying men for their freedom freedom free free- dom and competing with them in the business world the feminine woman will derive her greatest satisfactions from encouraging and inspiring her man responding responding re reo re- re sexually with mutual satisfactions satisfactions satisfactions satis satis- factions expressing confidence in his abilities and expressing pride in his accomplishments knowing that she is isa isa a partner in his good deeds THE FEMININE womans woman's narcissistic narcissis tic guardian protects her from being exploited or seduced by a self-seeking self man and she yields to him sexually only when fully assured that he is masculine masculine masculine mas mas- culine in honorable ways Such a woman woman woman wo wo- wo- wo man justifiably expects the best in marriage marriage marriage mar mar- and is not about to seek some clown in a bar as a spouse To the mature man who is prepared to face the responsibilities of manhood but knows how to be tender and considerate considerate con con- his wife there are yet more hidden treasures that the truly fe fe- feminine minine woman will give to him in exchange exchange exchange ex ex- change for this kind of security |