Show AMUSING METAPHORS jl A collection of witty and humorous Ite Ile marks ridicule says a german critic dislike a blow with the fist wit like the prick of a needle irony like the sting still 7 of a thorn and humor the plaster which heals beals all these wounds all of these qualities may bo be found in some metaphors man is said to ile be an animal that has a mania mama for getting gettin up societies and making himself president if theares the presidency has been already claimed lie he contents himself with tile position ot of treasurer in a cynical old bachelors opinion ideas are like beards men only get them when they grow row up and women never naver have any it was probably it nother another old bachelor who who said nature N shudders when she bees a woman throw a stone but when a woman attempts to split wood nature covers her ter head and retires to a dark and moldering cave in de filamir A spinster says old bachelors bac helois are frozen out old gardeners in the flower bed of love A farmer said one thing 1 I 1 dont like about city folks they be either so stuck up that yer cant reach em cm with a haystack pole po e or so blamed friendly that they forget to pay their board A rural poet said of his ladylove lady love she is graceful as a water lily while her breath is like an armful of clover an american pout poet w ote a bulor eulogy CY of washington whose glorious life should compose a volume is as alps hu immortal mortal spotless as it its snows tile the stars should I 1 be its types t pes its is press the age a e tile the earth its binglin binding bin clin g and the sky its parc page M truly lome gonie american poets go in for marvels marve 19 at i I 1 metaphor you look said an all irishman to a oale dale haggard liag ard smoker as if you had vot got out of your 1 grave to light your I 1 igar gar aud and find your way back gaiu again A schoolmaster describing in a bonev money ender says ife he serves you in ill tle the present tense lie he lends you in the conditional dit ional mood keeps you in the subjunctive and ruins you in the future A close observer of human nature remarks time marches on with tile the I 1 I 1 slow measured tread of the man mail working by the day A french author is charged with the prediction that france will throw herself into the arms arins of tile the liberating sword this is not quite so bad as the politicians speech celi we will burn our ships and with every sail steer boldly out into tile the I 1 ocean of fre freedom edorn on board a ship began a sermon in the following manner dear friends I 1 shall embark embiri k my exhortation on the bargo barge of my lips in order to cross the stomy ocean of your attention and in hops holin oi of arriving safely at the port of your cars A young american lawyer employed to defend a culprit charged with stealing in g a pig resolved to convince the he court that he was born to shine according accord aig ly lie proceeded to deliver the following in m brilliant exordium may it gleaso the court aud and gentlemen of tho the jury while europe is bathed in blood while classic greece is struggling liu for her rights and liberties and trampling 0 the unhallowed altars of the bearded infidels let to dust while america shines forth tile the brightest orb in the political eky 4 1 with due diffidence rise to defend the cause of this humble bo hog christian union |