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Show Never judge by appearances. A seedy coat may cover a heart in full bloom. Free labor will give us wealth. Free thought will give us truth. One of the hardest lessons to learn in life is that the man who differs with you, not only in opinions but in principles, may be as honest and sincere as yourself. The man who thinks it foolish to reward his wife's devotion with kind words and caresses is the same one who wonders why it is that women sometimes go wrong. Fact, really!-Some Scotchmen can live on Ayr. An Illinois deacon, while visiting in Philadelphia, was asked if he had purchased any Christmas cards, and replied with some surprise: "Why should I? My old pack is good enough." "Is your father a Christian?" said a gentleman to a little boy on one occasion. "Yes, sir," said the little boy, "but I believe he has not worked much at it lately."-Academy. Young Lady-"So you're better again, Mr. Grubbles?" Grubbles-"Well, no miss. No I can't say as I'm a bit better. Not a bit. I ain't maybe not quite so bad as I was though. That's all I can say for it." A Nevada Girl's Love-letter.-"Dear Jimmy, It's all up. We ain't going to get married. Ma says you're too rough, and I guess she's right. I'm sorry, but can't you go to Europe and get filed down?"-American Sentry. The "utterly utter" kind of talk has infested the street gamins one of whom after picking up a more than usually fragrant cigar stump exclaimed to his friend, "Jack this is quite too positively bully."-American Sentry. A man with a harsh voice was reading the Koran aloud at a mosque door, and a passerby asked him what he was reading for. "I am reading for God's sake," said the fellow. "Then for God's sake hold your tongue!" was the reply. Nothing better enables a man to say hard words and nothing better proves that the old Adam is not entirely eradicated from human nature than to hit the nail a right smart blow on the head, and then suddenly become conscious that it was his finger nail. The best sermon in the world never yet reconciled the proof man trying to curl his feet up and out of sight under the pew, to the painfully obtrusive and evident fact that the wife of his bosom had used his blacking brush to polish the kitchen stove.-Burlington Hawkeye. "Why are doctors called physicians, mamma?" said an inquisitive little girl to her mother, who had just been visited by one of them. "Physician," replied mamma, who was seldom at a loss for an answer, "comes from ‘fee seek,' as the doctor rides all day seeking fees." "What do you call this thing?" asked an old lady at the opera last evening to which she had gone with her daughter and the husband of the same. "Patience," replied the dutiful son in law. "Patients? Well, I declare, they do act sick?" said the old lady, putting on a look of commiseration.-Lowell Citizen. The editor of a Texas exchange says he does not like turkey, that if he can't have ‘possum to celebrate with, he don't want any at all, but his neighbors still continue to look up their turkeys after dark. Some people don't believe everything they read in a newspaper. The editor can't play "possum" on them that way.-Texas Siftings. Sir Walter Scott was, in one of his walks, leaning on the arm of a faithful attendant, Tom Purdie. Tom said: "Them are fine novels of yours, Sir Walter. They are just invaluable to me." "I am glad to hear it. Tom." "Yes, sir, for when I have been out all day, hard at work, and come home very tired, and take up one of your novels, I'm asleep directly." A young man was giving himself up to the agreeable occupation of ridiculing his uncle. "Confound it, what does the old guy dye his hair to that preposterous fashion for?" he remarked just as his venerable relative entered the room. "Sir," said his uncle, in a voice conveying the idea of codicils and elaborations of wills, "if men of my age are compelled to dye, it is because men of your age, sir, have no respect for gray hairs!" Conversation between two school boys.-First boy-"I've been down to have my head felt by a phrenologist." Second boy-"What did he say?" First boy-"Oh, he said I had a great brain, but my body wasn't equal to it, and he told my guv'nor he'd otter take me out of school for a year, and just let me play to rest and develop my physique, and guv'nor's going to do it." Second boy is now pestering his father to take him to the phrenologist.-American Sentry. Mansur, the second caliph of the house of Abbas, was one day preaching to the people in accordance with the custom of the early caliphs, who themselves always officiated in the mosque on Fridays. "O ye people!" said he, "ye should give thanks to Allah Most High that he has given me to reign over you he has taken away the plague which was in your midst." "Yes, truly," cried in Arab from among the congregation. "Allah is far too merciful to give us you and the plague at the same time!" It is said that if you have presence of mind enough to face a raging bull and look straight into his eyes, he is powerless to do you harm. We tried this experiment once and found it worked admirably. The fierce animal tore the ground with his feet and bellowed with all his might, but something seemed to hold him back like magic and he did us no injury. Perhaps [unreadable] to add in order to be correct ??. The bull was on the other side of the fence. We never try and experience of that kind without taking the proper precautions beforehand. |