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Show "Have you been kept in again at school?" asked an Austin father of his son, who came slinking home just about dark. "Yes, sir. I didn't know my Jografy lesson. "Good Heavens alive, boy, if you are kept in that way now, at a little one-horse school, when we get the University at Austin, you won't get to come home once in three months" -Texas Siftings. A young married man in this town calls his wife Malaria because she shakes him up at least every other day.- New Jersey Enterprise. A young married man iin this town calls his wife Poker, because she hauls him over the coals regularly each day. - Elevated Railway Journal. "My wife," said a hard-featured old Benedick, "is one of the largest-hearted women I have ever known. She thinks first of herself, second of the children, third of her relatives, fourth of her friends, fifth of her acquaintances, sixth of her husband. Mighty few ladies can get oveer so much ground as that, I can tell ye." "Tobaccy wanst saved my life," said Paddy Blade, an inveterate smoker. "How was that?" inquired his companion. "Oh, ya see, I was diggin' a well and came up for a good smoke, and while I was up the well caved in." |