Show I I NEW YEAH Dont Don't Plunge but ConI Consider Consider Con Con- I I I sider Carefully Promises You Make I IV V By BILL VINES I i EW ARE reader for tor Jannary January Jan B uary nary 1 approaches It Is la time for tor you to begin to pause pauso In your our wild and woolly career forthe for forthe the nonce and consider wisely and well the particular style of at good resolutions resolutions resolutions reso reso- that it Is your firm purpose to put into Immediate and drastic effect on that date Do not plunge hastily I 4 Into the matter and waste a a. perfectly perfect perfect- ct ly 11 good resolution From my personal experience I know that It Is a human weakness In lu a of sentimental and saffron hued regret to tie oneself I up so tight in an Ironbound and ill ill- ill ill- considered New Years Year's resolution 7 that it takes take frequently till January 15 to tn t separate oneself from tram It ft and It can canGe canJe be Ge Je done then only with considerable mental anguish and aud a badly lacerated conscience T r have on hand now a varied and general lot job-lot assortment of shopworn shopworn shop shop- T wor worn worn- good resolutions adopted unanimously unanimously by bj the co committee on resolutions Lions at its annual meeting sometime between the and of Decem Decem- ber None of these resolutions has been used long at a time They are not frayed on the edges or In Inthe Inthe inthe the bushing from froin excess of use They l look ole awfully good at this gladsome time of at the year ear when ones one's bank account account ac ac- ac count appears I delicate and remorse remorse- fut ful This is the time for a good reso reso- I T Y I. I I G I I 1 I A rats r lution lulion to make its strongest appeal to you You survey urvey the field with an anxious 10 ious sous us and appealing eye and looking looking look look- ing for comfort and succor succor The good resolution forward steps blandly with witha t a a. smile bright an and che cheerful looking r with an open honest face like the insidious insidious in in- v book agent it slips a blank into your ready and nerveless hand and says sign here You are in inno no ao mental or physical condition to re reo re- re fuse You rant cant turn anything down much less a good reso resolution It is p likely the night before you could not even turn the bedclothes down but probably rested your weary head on the pillow pUlow and spread your classic form over the worked hand-worked snowwhite snowwhite snow- snow white whit e counterpane You put your hand to your solid Ivory but throbbing throbbing throb throb- bing nut and try to r recollect your thoughts You mentally review the past and see nothing in it to cheer you up not a single bright spot On top of this someone st sticks a package of letters under the door You open them slowly and there you find fend the gas bill bUl the coal bill bill the rent r t bill 1111 the grocery bill and you vainly attempt to calculate at what time next spring by the strictest economy y an and d by cutting out cigars and highballs you can can reasonably expect your bank account to be convalescent Score 12 to 0 in favor of the good resolution tion You try to remember if the good resolution now facing you looking so strong and vigorous has ever been introduced Introduced introduced in In- to you before beCore It looks familiar fa somehow Can it by any possibility possibility be the same good resolution t tint it you fell for last year which gave promise of carrying you through the good year 1915 holding you firmly on ona ona a permanent seat on the water cart I and free from the nasty effects of I King N Nicotine coUne You recall with what joy fay you embraced said good resolution A a. year ago how you fell upon its neck and clung to it in your hour of at distress and brunette remorse You reflect that it ought to be he a good resolution reso reso- resolution I lution because it is Made in America Amer Amer- lea ica but wit more of less distrust you remember that something got wrong with it during the first inning and una it permitted you to blow up with the bases full and nobody out Away way you mutter you are no good i you failed me once and you will do doo eo o again Then turn you your bloodshot eye both of them being that way to the dresser and you behold the necktie given you by the wife of f your bosom I and with a broken sob Bob you snatch the blank from the outstretched hand of good resolution and once more you are on Listen Listen Listen-if if you do It ft and you will will will- shut both eyes and hold on to that good resolution till the Fourth of July Dont Don't look it over for tor If you do you'll youl observe Its imperfections Simply exercise the tenacity of a bull pupI pup I and hold on If you las last till the tho Fourth it it will be easier at easier at least leas t I Im Iam r am m told Birmingham so-Birmingham so Ago Herald Age Hah id I f. f I |