Show about I II I Debunking Wars War's Romance I SANTA ANTA MONICA CALIF Mrs Bud Lighton Lighten one of the smartest women on this thi or any other coast has started a symposium of suggestions for forthe forthe forthe the promotion of national sanity sanity sanity san san- ity the next time diplomats or politicians profiteers or professional professional professional sword rattlers or all of these types combined try toV to to rush a country into futile and uncalled for war which war which classification classification classification classi classi- covers most wars Her peace formula includes these ideas No brass bands whatsoever No speech making by stay stay-a stay home home t-home orators No recruiting recruiting recruiting recruit recruit- ing except by men who have themselves themselves themselves them them- selves enlisted for T active service No brass buttons No r r r shiny buckles no regalia Respect for forthe forthe 1 i ithe the flag and if it necessary necessary essary all proper defense for it but no cheap waving of it beforehand No VV blatant emotional irvinS Cobb d displays display's i s pia s be being i n g turned off of or on like a hydrant Reason to be invoked rather rathe than mob Red Field Day DayA DayA A A GENTLEMAN in Iowa who ho presumably inquired into the matter asserts that in this country are upwards of aliens who entered illegally and that the vast majority of these these over over 90 00 per percent percent percent cent are on relief While were we're fighting corn borers and tobacco worms and boll weevils with government government gov gov- funds wouldn't it be a n grand idea to turn a lot Jot of men G-men loose to round up these smuggled smuggled- in human parasites and ship them back where they came from Locally speaking Im I'm told that the average foreign foreign born born agitator ostensibly seeking to organize the casual workers of this state is really a n red agent spreading communistic communistic communistic com com- doctrines under cover o of his seeming activities in the industrial industrial industrial indus indus- trial field In other words his real aim is not to unionize labor but to America Watson the swatter fly and the insect poison quick poison quick The Leagues League's Big Moment l A AT A T LAST heres here's a chance for the League of Nations to function For the poor thing it has been an uphill pull to slide down hill hilI so steadily with each descending step toward the bottom marked by disappointment disappointment disappointment dis dis- dis- dis appointment and failure It had ali almost almost al al- al- al i most as t tough o 0 u ugh g h sledding as a smooth-faced smooth bearded lady would have trying to get a job in a aI I museum But now the theW league can punish at nt least one small nation for persistently persistently persistently per per- breaking the otherwise solid front presented by nearly all the important European powers Surely ere long it will hang some sort of penalty on little simpleminded simpleminded simpleminded simple- simple minded Finland for tor regularly paying paying pay pay- ing installments on her debt to us This disruptive thing cannot possibly possibly possibly pos pos- sibly be permitted to go on forever when the sacred principles of dishonor dishonor dishonor dis dis- dis- dis honor ingratitude and repudiation are all at stake Paging the Black Legion I TT IT T IS passing strange that the Black Legion is so slow about offering Herr Hitler honorary membership membership membership mem mem- in the mother-lodge mother up in Michigan Both parties seem to feel alike on the subject of ot persons persons persons per per- sons of color Meanwhile just so long as they didn't try to stop him from shaking those nimble feet teet our browns brown- brown s ski skinned k i n n e d flying squirrel Jesse Owens should worry because a dictator dictator dictator dic dic- re refuses ses to shake his hand With Metcalfe 1 and other dark colleagues helping him pile up so commanding a n lead for the American Ameri Ameri- can team in the Olympic games its it's almost time for tor the band to play All Got Wings Synthetic Spanish AND ND the famous Santa Barbara fiesta on every side and yours truly looking as ns much like a Spanish hidalgo as anybody born in McCracken count county Ky could be expected to look Plenty of other disturbing occurrences occurrences occurrences occur occur- too Heat wave still hanging hanging hang hang- ing on in spots Fresh European complications on account of the Spanish mess Down at nt his home on the range where seldom is heard a n discouragIng ing word word except except from Washington D. D C we C-we we behold Uncle Jack Garner Garner Garner Gar Gar- ner with his head over the corral bars beginning to moo plaintively And now on top of at all nIl that it teems cems we we must start worrying about Tommy Manville's next w wife e eor or wives as the case may be and be-and and probably will I do wish Tommy could see his way clear to hold off till falL If memory serves me aright the fall always was his favorite marrying season eason an anyhow how IRVIN S. S COBB Q e Western Unto Unto |