Show FABLES IN SLANG Bell By GEORGE ADE I 1 1 J JI j I I m. m I x x H I I t tI o I 4 nJ t L I I 1 1 e 1 i I I a P vt 1 B w For the First Time That Year the Car Was Obeying th the Law It Was Doing Less Than 25 STEPPING ON IT ITO NCE there was a n Group O ONCE of Seekers Pleasure-Seekers packed Into n a Motor Car They were out for Relaxation and they were going to find It u by whizzing to a Point Mlles Miles distant distant distant dis dis- tant and mid then turning around and beating It back Home Notwithstanding which It Is said that People live longer than they used to live There were two Captains on B Board One was the priced high-priced Lad at the Wheel who thought that every stretch of at Good Road was part of at the Indianapolis Speedway The other Mrs Henry GIbble whose Husband had paid for the Car just twice what a dandy Queen Anne Cottage would have cost before Lumber went up Mr GIbble thought he hee was the Captain but he was only the Cabin Boy They wouldn't even let him hold the Road noad Map The others who had embarked were three In Number as follows Estelle only daughter of at the Gibbles Gib- Gib bles who held the Worlds World's Record for tor Nose Dabbing times In one Day Herbert Poindexter supposed to tobe tobe tobe be almost engaged to Estelle b because be cause he ho looked Aristocratic and was a heavenly Hoofer Hooter even If u he lie was on Salary Miss Leonora Peevy unmarried sister of Mrs GIbble a Gibble-a a Positive Character who held back nothing except her True Age That made six In n All and any good MI Reader Mind Reader d-Reader might have discovered din dis covered that no two of them were agreed on anything not anything not even Evo Eva lution For Instance the felt that when he was doing less than 9 95 93 he was chilling his Tires CONFIDENCE AND IGNORANCE Estelle always said that SO 80 miles an Hour was a reasonable Clip Mr Poindexter said that when he traveled above GO CO ho he could feel his Ills Brain Substance turning to Jell As for Mrs G G. G she couldn't see any sense In doing more than 50 Mr GIbble would have stayed around 40 all the time If It he had bad been permitted to give Directions which he was not Miss Peevy had read a great deal about Motor Accidents Every time she crawled Into a powered high-powered Up Hurry she expected to be killed before she got back The Law said that any anyone one who traveled along at better than 25 miles could be yanked up and tried Be that as it may the GIbbles and their two Victims got away at 0 which was n almost on Sched ale ule The Starting Time had been set for 7 03 so that they could get getto getto getto to Bald Rock noele In time for tor the Noonday Noonday Noon Noon- day Luncheon It seemed that Estelle had bad some Trouble getting her E Eye Brows to match and Mr Poindexter sat for tor foran foran an nn Hour flour In a n Brown Study looking at his Collection of at Ties and trying to make a 0 Selection After Arter the Old Folks had sat Inthe Inthe in inthe the Car silent and motionless for tor what seemed to be a 0 Couple of at Da Days s 's taking the Morning Sun In Inthe Inthe Inthe the Eyes the two jovial Juveniles appeared ap up- appeared and ancI hoped that the they hadn't kept nn anyone one waiting How lucky ItIs It Itis itis is that Looks cannot kill Just as they crossed tho the Town Limits and ancI passed into the Agricultural Agricultural Agricultural tural District Mrs G G. G asked In a aTone aTone aTone Tone suggesting that she wanted either Information n or an Argument Well what Root are we going to take Mr Poindexter bursting burstIn with Confidence and ancI Ignorance said that he had heard somewhere that by bearing over toward and ancI following the River Roan Road through Ransom and Wems you would come out on State Road 23 and get a direct ct Shoot to Bald Rock where they would have Luncheon If It any anyone anyone anyone one would be speaking to any anyone one else by that time A SAD MEAL We will always s 's insist that Mr Ir Poindexter hud had no way of ot knowing about the New Stone between JerIcho Jericho Jer Jer- icho and ancI Wb or the Detour made necessary by the tho Bridge being out between Milton's Grove and Sassafras Ridge At the very Moment when they thy should have been unpacking the Luncheon Basket under the trees at Bald Dald Rock nock while merry Laughter echoed through the Glen and ancI good- good natured Quips leaped from Lip to Lip they were as Mr Ir GIbble afterward afterward afterward after after- ward described It b between between be be- tween Fronce and Sackett's Sacketts Corners on a Dirt Road that hadn't J- J seen a n Scraper since the Civil War As far as the E Eye e could reach there was a ver verdant ant Expanse of at Bull Bull- rushes For the first time that year the Car Cor was obeying the Law v. It was doing less than 25 If It the Noonday Luncheon served promptly at 3 p p. p m m. m carried the general gen gen- general eral Gloom of at a childs child's funeral It was because Mr and Mrs Gibble and Miss Peevy could not find time timeto to say a Word They were too b busy sy hoping that tha E Estelle tene would never marry Mr Poindexter EVERYTHING FELL FLA FLAT FLAT- TEVEN T- T EVEN A TIRE It Is said that the Trans Siberian Railway running half halt way around the Globe from KowchucK to Is the longest straightaway straightaway straightaway straight straight- away Road in the World but the Gibble Expedition in proceeding from Bald Mountain to Lake Wa- Wa balm where they purposed spending spending spend spend- ing the night at a well-known well Resort Resort Re Re- sort Hotel which serves everything fresh from the Can got on a plainly marked Highway and remained there for Weeks and Weeks Mr Gibble will alwa always s 's Insist that f fhe q he wrote for tor Reservations and ancI he thinks that he ho mailed the Let Let- ter Nevertheless when the travel travel- stained and red-eyed red Outcasts found themselves grouped In the Hotel Office Of Ot fice flee like a Huddle of ot Lithuanian Immigrants the Unpopularity which had been lavished upon Mr Poindexter Poin dexter was transferred by a a. vote of ot 4 to 1 to Henry and he didn't have havea a Come Back In his S System stem Finally about an Hour after alter the Dance was over the Women Folks were shown to a Cottage on the Hill nm while Mr Poindexter and his never- never to-be to Law In occupied Cots I In the laundry When they started for tor Home next neat A. A M M. it was Mrs 0 G. G who gave ga the orders and so she was to blame when the Speed Cop Can got them Just outside of ot JImpson Heights They had six Witnesses who testified that they were creeping along at about t 15 Miles Mlles per Hour so the Justice soaked them 28 23 and after atter they were here out on the Road again the i i Engine and Miss Peevy developed a Knock r rIt It had bad to be one of ot the new Tires Tires 4 i f that went flat fiat The man In the Garage Ga Ga- r rage had bad guaranteed it for f Miles which v Explanation seemed G f to satisfy ever every one ono except Mr Ir and ancI p Mrs Gibble Miss 1 Peevy and Mr Ir t 7 Poindexter The Shades of ot Night were falling I fast when the jo riding Joy Bus passed 1 l' l through a quiet Village which was as GO 50 Mlles Miles from a Bath No one had hind anything to say to any anyone one Else except what Mrs GIbble GIb Gib- ble hIe was wash handing to the Mental De- De i who paid her Bills and what 1 she said cannot be inserted her herewith here here- j ij with as os the Newspaper using this I Article Is limited as to Space 1 t MORAL Automobiles can eliminate nato nate Distance but Not Human Na Na- b ture II I I 1 |