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Show BRIEF AND BREEZY. It will be a bitter blow o Captain Hobsou if Japan desires to lick Eng- , land instead of the United States. " There arc thirty-seven pagc of Smiths in the N. Y. City directory. The Smith a mighty clan is he? liibhop Potter says: "It is safer to think than to speak." Yes. But it is so much harder work for some people. The party who sent Mr. Loeb that . elephant's tail, made a slight mistake. What the republican elephant is look ing for is a new head. When Japan begins to buy Missouri mules, then Congressman Hobson may get an audience regarding that nation's serious intentions. Secretary Taft has developed an inordinate taste for travel, but his friends believe that lie could be induced in-duced to settle down for four years. The only negro member of the Georgia legislature has resigned his seat, and the colonels will hasten to celebrate before the new prohibition law goes into effect. The California astronomer who has declared that marriage is a crime, has evidently been seeing too many 'theatrical 'the-atrical stars" and chorus girls recently. re-cently. The San Francisco Call refers to Vice-Prcsidcrt Fairbanks as "John Warren Fairbanks." At least, this is quite funny and a great deal more original than "Mr. Fairbanks." Mr. James J. Hill says the country wants more money. If Mr. Hill and a number of his kind would stand aside and keep hands off for a while, the country might stand some show to get it. If Mr. Roosevelt should become an j editor after his retirement from the Presidency, it is safe to assume that fresh and conscienceless contemporaries contempor-aries would think twice before stealing steal-ing his editorials. iThe official organ of the coat dealers deal-ers declares that more coal was mined during the past summer than ever before in the same period of time. Therefore the price must be raised of course. ' The Jamestown exhibition which had a great many knockers at first, is now receiving praises from every i direction. It is one of the best ex ) positions ever held, and is a great deal i larger than the Buffalo exposition, and is not far behind the one recently recent-ly held in St Louis. Every American who can possibly do so, should visit it, and learn something some-thing about the progress of this wonderful won-derful country of ours, and the opportunities oppor-tunities it offers. Mr. Taft is reported to contemplate holding three kings in conversation during his trip, but Mr. Fo:akcr is alleged to have the two black aces up his sleeve. Forakcr is comforting himself with the thought that McKinley opposed Hayes, and was himself elected president. presi-dent. But then Roosevelt is not Hayes, and neither is Forakcr McKinley. Mc-Kinley. The. work down on the isthmus is too important to be hampered by any red tape. Let the dirt fly I Wc have a surplus. Spend itl Spend it! Spend all that is needed to build the canal. If Nick Longworth decided to run for mayor of Cincinnati, of courjo. he will get the endorsement of father-in-law Roosevelt and Heir Apparent Taft. There is nothing like keeping the good things in the family. Unless reports are greatly exaggerated exagger-ated the North Carolina directors of the Southern railroads never retire at night without looking under the bed for Editor Joscphus Daniels of the Raleigh News and Observer. A Kansas man has made a somewhat some-what disconcerting discovery in connection con-nection with the new 2-ccnt railway rate law in tha State. He finds that his kinfolk visit him twice as often as they did before it went into effect. A Georgia man complains to the police of Chattanooga that sonic one robbed him of a case of beer. Any outsider who would steal beer fronl a Georgian these sad and distressing days, would cheerfully rob a baby of its last stick of candy. The Macon Telegraph a contemporary contem-porary ordinarily of undoubted character char-acter and conspicuous ability is yelling yel-ling lustily for "Rcfawm" in Georgia. Somehow the Telegraphs refawmed spelling rather leads us to think it is not as "cinserc" as it might be. The N. Y. World insists that Secretary Sec-retary Cortelyou shourd resign because be-cause of his campaign fund activities of 1904. Mr. Cortelyou is too busy thinking about contributions next year to be disturbed by ancient scandals. scan-dals. After spending some time at the springs, prisoner John F. Gaynor, of Gaynor and Greene fame, now .xsks to be permitted to take a sea voyage in order to repair his "sliatered nerves." So far as we can see, there is nothing the matter with his nerve, beyond its abnormal development. Mr. Rockefeller says he isn't going to talk anymore for publication. Perhaps Per-haps the American Press Humorists neglected to send him an invitation to their convention. Indications arc that Mr. Taft means to follow Mr. Roosevelt's policy very closely, says the Norfolk Landmark. Which wc suppose means that Mr. Taft will endeavor to forget the tariff between elections. Prince Wilhclm confesses that he is surprised by much that he has seen over here. But this is the land of the unexpected. Even its oldest inhabitants never get through being surprised. "Hutchinson," says a Kansas paper, "needs more houses for rent." Kansas Kan-sas always was odd. In this part of the country the landlords seem to think they need "more rent" for their houses. Mark Twain has declined the honor of steering the president down the Mississippi. Mr. Twain has evidently heard something of the difficulties attending at-tending attempts to steer Mr. Roosevelt. Roose-velt. An Indiana woman wants a divorce because her husband reads Shakespeare Shakes-peare all the time. She ought to have it too. The idea of an Iudianian going go-ing back on "home products" that way! The cheapest thing about the Pina-ma Pina-ma Canal is the cash it is going to cost. e great thing about a task as stupendous as this is to get the work done, and for the first time since it started it has recently been pushed with a vengance. Or'v the other day Major Goethals .elared that at the present rate of progress the canal would be completed long before the scheduled time. r Suppose, as an authority siys, it BJ docs cost more to bring up a girl than BJ a boy. They are worth the difference aren't they? BJ There is a good thing about the Bb Washington Base ball team, it never B causes anybody to lie awake at nights Bb wondering what is' going to heppen i to it next day.. BJ " " I I lie Hughes baby just arrived in BJ the Governors Mansion, N Y is Bb named Elizabeth and there arc some ' HB who arc hoping that she will be the . B virgin queen of the White House. I ,BB 1 George Bernard Shaw is "disap- Bb pointed in King Edward," and says B so, right out loud; which shows that Bb George's mouth has lost nothing of ( Bb its cunning art of getting its owner i Bfl talked about. ( H Mr. WJm. Dean H'owclls thinks it is B a crime to take money for poetry. i Bfl A number of poets think the' publish- Bfl crs consider it a crime to even offer Bfl B |