| Show SHAKE CLASS david Be nelas lascos coa play the girl 1111 ot 0 the 0 golden west has baa beon used as aa all the world knows by the famous puccini as an the tb libretto for or UIS bla new opera opera A k now new york critic congratulated congratulate ed M mr r delasco on this honor bonor the th other day air belasco replied to he be cinis librettist la it of 0 course an lionor honor cut but it a 61 supreme a honor some boma folks though seem to think go BO it all reminds rao me ot of a story etory about arditi ardiel was once invited to lecture on shakespeare shakespeare he said with a 01 pua pox aled frown Shake spearel dont you remember maestro said a disciple dont you remember amleto amlet and romeo e giulietta lietta and otelio and so forth oh yeal ot of coursel said bald the it tr conductor ishak shakespeare esp earol 1 the librettist I 1 williea lessons Le miss smith who Is la in tho the habit lot ct assigning long and difficult lessons called the other evening lt at tho the homo home ot of her brightest pupil who bad been absent several days la Is willie III tin she inquired solicit bously oh no responded the mother he ft quite well thank you 11 II he e has baa been absent several veral sc daya day hinted the teacher yes replied the th mother looking innocently at the teacher willie t Is so busy studying hla his lesions that lie ha time to go to school lippin cotts A learned parent pa what la Is a hedonist A hedonist my son aon yes pa let roe me see do you remember my taking you to ft a show last week yes pa and you saw a man there who walked down a flight of stairs on hla his head bead yes pa well ho was a hedonist not that kind Is in your clerk a believer in the alio occult asked the facetious man watch ing a bottle being made up into a neat package 1 I dont know said cald tho the proprietor why do you aal I 1 Ue rill Bd tile the facetious one 7 1 W ping ESSENTIAL 0 mrs mra fo gracious gra cloua sake balie aint yo yol ready to go to dat cako walk yet keepin yot yo rastus johnting John sing I 1 cant find mah cakewalk kowalk ca fazah boy know your wife wants wanta you on the telephone announced the new boy in an office where the phones of two separate parate Be companies were installed which one ona inquired tho the boss thinking of the tha two telephones of course please sir air said eald the boy 1 I dont know bow many you have 11 make a DIffer difference enco tho the sun un got uri up this morning bright and found no me still in bed n rut t ho he cutin lalo last might in A I 1 was tie be it said ald granted hit request Reque at said sad the tha hobo 1 I went around to a back door today and aarl asked for tome some thing to et eat madam I 1 said af it you will only alvo me the food you gave your cat I 1 will bo be satisfied satis fled 1 I it you want to lie around I 1 he babii bar and catch I 1 any objections the she told me acut Oc ut costly allce alice 1 I ran into a lady in one or of tho the this and her glasses fell off and smashed all to 0 o bits jack Ja denow ilaw unfortunates you made amends at I 1 suppose alice oh certainly t apologized the very latest shea shaff very proud or of tier her child 11 i jD oear t sh she know that more mere call cil dren are ire unfashionable aut I 1 belleve she has hai fomo sort bort of i 0 modi modified fled baby 7 6 FEET FEET oh I 1 the wandering toot foot lo 10 love s a seven even league leaffee boot ge but u t t the he homo keeping toot foot loes a sup upper so when cruet cruel fate faint plan to put both on one m man a n ilow how can tho the poor follow fool feel chipper ohl the th call of the tha mes ea ilan long ions clamored to me and now halt of 0 ron me harlis haahr to it OMY out heres one on ot of my feet that would beat a retreat to a hearth harth where two a there othera wait lonely ohl the th terrible strain of 0 one toot on an the mala main and the other at t horne by the insist 11 balth alth this his lenir quite the right thins thine for a fellow unless he ha be b single oh ohl I 1 the wandering foot r ot loves a seven even leasus b boot oot but the toot I 1 loves oves a ft upper slipper 60 when cruel fates plan to put both on one man ilow how can the poor sallow feel calp ayrf tom daly in catholic Cit hollo Stan standard and times AT THE vaudeville first electricity was waa la in uso before tho the hood flood second gabster gagster ilow do you know first why noah noab havo have ark lights f x how it worked out sho she married him for money but when she h was wai lit him bride Alt although houch it may seem eem runny funny for love lava she ho sighed and sighed plain old english for him ww daniea 1 lb aga us not nor tika ko and he cannot him self belt that latin Is rood good for anything at all aa tho the now new building for or tho the de da parl Dart ment ot of agriculture was being ila lobed lebed off the carvers began a latin inscription over the main door mr air wilson came along when the th work had bad been halt half done none of 0 that latin he ordered i english la 19 good enough for me popular magazine A poor beginning the young teacher looked around at I 1 tho the little assemblage that hat constituted tho the slum kindergarten of which filie lad had taken craige and began in sweet gurgling tones tonea supposed Bup posed to express intense interest in hep hev subject now flow I 1 wonder how many little children hero here this morning can tell me whether the little kitty wears fur or feathers A dirty faced urchin rolled hla his eyes and groaned audibly geel aint she never seen a cat Il arper s magazine edwards deductions edward you must eat cat the crusts crusta of your our bread I 1 did you eat crusts crusta when you were a little boy 7 wily why certainly I 1 did and la in that why yau you are ara a crusty 0 old id bachelor now uncle yonkers statesman HE KNEW the medical professor what happens when a manla temperature tempOra turo goes down as low sa as it can student absently gets cold fool feet clara ot of clara bell im vry very fond A brunette once ashes pow now a blonde somewhat beiter no said eald alie senator 1 I shall not go to mra reception dut you have a card 1 I www but bt people poop will think I 1 stole i it |
