Show THE 2 seconds to go I 1 FICTION by C NORMANS BORTNER WONDERED why I 1 t carl bullard drown it gasn wasn that I 1 hated him he was a nice enough fellow just a boy of course and too sentimental and too and too rich it if only he hadn haan t mar ried constance I 1 d have saved him in half a minute but tor for that in stead I 1 watched the water swirl over his head and wondered no one could know what I 1 had done that I 1 had killed him almost as much as if I 1 had pushed him down and held him under the sur sur face hew how could they ever know I 1 was quiet and still on the edge of the pier with my feet dangling in the cool water and a cigarette between my fingers behind me sat carl bul this lard lards s wife talking calmly with some weeks of her guests and behind her the best shoreline shore line of carl bullard a land fiction stretched away se rene and smooth to carl bullard s roomy house on the opposite side of carl bullard s cove and I 1 stared down between my toes at carl bullard s white body in tha water he ile had looked straight at me as he went down it was a queer tor aured pleading sort of a look as if it he knew exactly what was happen ing to him and was trying to tell me with his eyes he had opened his mouth to cry out shipped a full gasp of water into that boyish chest of his and gone down with hardly more than a ripple cramps I 1 guess I 1 id d seen the same thing be tore fore but not so quick the cove was twelve feet deep at the end of the pier and greenly translucent to the yellow sandy bot torn tom it seemed almost too clear too innocent to kill 1 a man but I 1 knew it was happening I 1 could see carl bullard s slow convulsive thrashing he was not yet halt half way down how long woul dit it be before he touched the sand two seconds ten but how eternally long a sec see ond can be constance had warned him said tt it was too soon after lunch said he ought to wait a while but he had laughed in that small boy way he had and chucked her under the chin and then he had run across the pier to lump jump in over my head I 1 could still feel the little breeze of his passing it was cold on my wet back it was the chin chucking I 1 think that made me sit still while he sank constance was not a woman to be chucked under the chin you wouldn t sing swing in a church would you that a what I 1 men I 1 im in a fine one to talk about churches but that s what constance S V how long would it be before he touched the sand two second ten but how eternally long a second can be does to me yesterday I 1 saw her the first time in three years it s worse with me now than it then Alot A lot worse deeper potboy not boy and girl stuff any more man woman and she a married to bullard she would have married me it if things had gone right they hadn haan t though I 1 thought a year in buenos atres aires at an unbelievable salary would give me my start instead of that three years in buenos aires and amazing bad luck at any and all forms of gambling gave me a taste for living and little to live on three years there had been letters between us the first few months gee I 1 miss you connie wish my year was up I 1 you too aleck seems like a year already keep writing often BUT ba UT the letter slowed down after a while and then stopped alto gether my fault I 1 know I 1 couldn coulden t keep lying to her about the money I 1 was supposed to be saving it it was well in my second year that I 1 heard shed she d been married the news filtered down to me one way or another I 1 didn dian t n mind nand and then I 1 had other diversions three years is a long time A al most as long as it was taking carl bullard to reach the yellow sand he was near it now and not cle clearly arly outlined just a slow moving blur three years was enough to give me a lifetime lifetimes s fill of everything somehow constance beard heard I 1 had come back and she wrote to me just a friendly welcome back note that meant she held no hard feel ings the boy and girl stuff wax was done with and yet I 1 suddenly wanted to see her talk with her I 1 found her here at the cove she was still the con stance I 1 remembered if a little sub dued a little settled and satisfied but there was something in her eyes when she looked at me that made me wish I 1 d never gone away from her A glow Not fust Just friend li ness more than that it was the glow in her eyes that kept me at the cove I 1 wouldn t have stayed at the bullard place ex capt for that A flock of guests as dull an and d chat bering as guests always are A bus band who kept grinning at her like a gawky boy and patting her arm and chucking her under the chin the glow in her eyes whenever she looked at me made up for all of that tha t I 1 wanted to take my stare from carl bullard s body now nearly on the sand and look over my der toward constance I 1 wanted to see those glowing eyes again meet ing mine but I 1 didn dian t move instead I 1 thought of some something thing very interesting if I 1 were to sit still only a little longer the pier and the house and the cove and a great deal more would belong to con stance she d be wealthy and with a glow in her eyes when she looked at me three years in the argentine tor for Tio thing and three minutes on carl bullard s pier for everything I 1 wanted why t I 1 let carl bullard drown I 1 IT T S STRANGE when you re tense and still how all your sense senses become sharp beyond normality while I 1 watched the greenish white blur that was carl billiard bullard the feminine voices behind me which before had been unintelligible be came clear and distinct constance talking to her guests that water looks so good she said I 1 wish I 1 could go in why don t you connie I 1 won dered why you hadn t sah sh h doctors orders there was a pause connie conniel you don t you might as well know now as later I 1 guess it 11 be in decem ber haven t you noticed the way I 1 ive ve put on cef weight why my dear we had no ideal but now I 1 know why carl has been so attentive and that sparkle in your eyes connie AH ali the signs the sparkle in her eyes the glow carl bullard a body was on the sand at last tumbling awkwardly shapelessly my cigarette dropped into the water I 1 heard it hiss and then I 1 dived in without taking time to stand carl bullard s grip nearly broke my arm |