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Show - - Iathleen Kathleen ( Norris Says : Has Any Father the Right to Do This ? ( Bell Syndlcate-WNU Syndlcate WNU - - Service ) 4 t 7 / \ t tt t - U , e eThey _ _ J- J JThey - . - They play cribbage by the hour , Ullkmg talking all Ihe the tame time they are lale late for formea formeals mea meals slow , low aboul about ever everything ) Ihang fUlS fussy ) ' , and andwIth wIth long explanallOns explanations and andrequelS andrequest requelS request , IT R ITe Re ITare Rare e are boh both boh&ellang ! &ellang ellang getting & hornbly horribly nen-ous nen ous nervous - abouc about .t t it . , I By KATHLEEN NORRIS ( < " (1 1 (1YEAR ( < -YEAR YEAR - EAR Mrs Norns Norris , " "DEAR DEAR Dwrites D | ) writes wrltes Blanche B , - ' from a suburb near nearDubuque nearDubuque nearDubuque Dubuque , "my my " problem is so sosenous soserious soserious senous serious that it threatens to towreck towreck towreck wreck my married marrled happmess happiness happmessI'm happinessI'm happinessI'm happinessIm I'm Im ' ' not a fool , ' I've Ive ' been a abusmess abusiness abusiness busmess business woman , ' I'm Im ' runninga runnmga runnmg running a home comfortably and ecO ecOnOI111cally economically economically nOI111cally nomically , but I can t work workthlS workthis workthis thlS this one out Please tell me mewhat mewhat mewhat what you'd youd ' do in m my place"Frank place"Frank place place"Frank "Frank Frank " and I were engaged engagedfor engagedfor engagedfor for four years before we wecould wecould wecould could marry , because lus sus lusmother susmother hismother mother was dependent uponhim upon uponhlm uponhim hlm him , and his hlS two brothers brotherscalmly brotherscalmly brotherscalmly calmly refused to do anythmg anything anythmgfor anythingfor anythingfor for her support But when I Ihad Ihad Ihad had hada a good bank account and andwe andwe andwe we were buying buymg a home we wefelt wefelt wefelt felt that we could risk It it , , and we wewere wewere wewere were married marned tour four years ago I was wasthen wasthen wasthen then 28 2B Frank 33 At the time my mywonderful mywonderful mywonderful wonderful mother was running runnmg a asuccessful asuccessful asuccessful successful small grocery with my myfather myfather myfather father as assistant Dad drove the thedelIvery thedelivery thedelivery delIvery wagon answered the tele tele- telephone telephone telephone - - phone and SEEMED to be whatshe what whatshe whatshe she called him lum her partner but butIt butit butit It wasn t long after her death that thatwe thatwe thatwe we discovered that she had been beencarrymg beencarrying beencarrying carrymg carrying him all along as a lIabIlIty lIabIlItynot liabilitynot liabilitynot not an asset The bus business mess rap.dly rapdly rapidly rap.dlywent rapidlywent rapidlywent . went to pieces Dad sold out for forhalf forhalf torhalf half its value bought a II cottage cottageand cottageand cottageand and said he was going gomg to retire retlIe retlIeDad retireDad retireDad Dad Definite Da.nd.cap Dand.cap Dandcap Handicap Da.nd.capHI HandicapHt HandicapHL . . HI Ht . . made only seven payments paymentson on the cottage which he lost and andIn andin andin In 11 monU mont montl ! s had spent the more morethan morethan morethan than $2 2 ? $ 2 000 the business bUlness buiness $ $ had brought broughtThen broughtThen broughtThen Then he came to us That was II a IIlIttle alittle alittle lIttle more than a year agoShortly agoShortly ago agoShortly Shortly afterward my uncle uncleDad uncleDad uncleDad Dad s brother came to see us and andDad andDad andDad Dad hospitably invited lDVlted him to stay staypaymg staypaying staypaying paymg paying me $7 7 $ a week board ThIs ThIsUncle ThisUncle ThisUndo Uncle Dan gratefully grd.tefuUy grdtefuUy . agreed to do doI doI doI I was at the time earning earnmg $16 16 $ a av.eek aweek aweek v.eek veek week . ta In a part time tune job but it didn dldn t twork twork twork work The two old men got every everything everything thmg thing at home Into a mess wh while e 1 1was 1was Iwas was away pipe dribbles dnbblcs dirty dirtyd d shes icebox left open bathroom bathroomd d sgraceful-t sgraceful t sgraceful-tl tl sgraceful - ! u ey were worse than thanI thanch thanch ch Idren ldren I would have had to pay a amaid amaid amaid maid what I was earning and wehad we wehad wehad had no room tor for her so 50 it seemed seemedv.lser seemedwiser seemedwiser v.lser vlser wiser . to do things thmgs myself . . I lIke lake lIkehousework lakehousework likehousework housework and am a good manager managerand managerand managerand and cook cookIIusbaud cookDusband cookHusband IIusbaud Dusband Husband Plays Sad Role RoleNo RoleNo RoleNo No v my life is s mply rnply that of a aboard aboard aboard board bouse house keeper tor for two rather ratherexactmg ratherexacting ratherexacting exactmg exacting old men Uncle Dan scru scrupulously scrupulously scriipulously pulously pays me a dollar a day If Ifbe ifhe ithe be he goes away for ( or three days to see seebls seehis seehis bls his married son he deducts that thatmoney thatmoney thatmoney money Of course this doesn t pay paymc payme payme mc me and of course my husband husbanddocsn husbanddoesn husbanddoesn docsn doesn t like hke finding linding the ba bathroom bathroomoccupied bathroomoccupied throom throomoccupied occupied when be gets home the theevenmg theevening theevening evenmg evening paper scattered about the thecomfortable thecomfortable thecomfortable comfortable chairs pre empted He Hed Hediffers Hediffers d differs fers with both the others poJtI politi poJtIcally polititally poutically ! cally tally and they argue ar d taunt him himand himand himand and > if 1l f he holds his tongus tongue they feel feeltnumphantly feeltriumphantly feeltriumphantly tnumphantly triumphantly that they have scored scoredThey scoredThey scoredThey They play cnbbage cribbage by the hour hourtalkmg hourtalking hourtalking talkmg talking all the t me they are late latefor latefor latetor for meals slow about everythmg everything everythmgfussy everythingfussy everythingfussy fussy and with long explanations explanationsand and requests We are both gettmg getting gettmghorribly gettinghorribly gettinghorribly horribly nervous about It it , , and It Is Iscspeclally isespecially Isespecially cspeclally especially trying to me because I Iwant Iwant Iwant want a child or ch Idren and It Itwould itwould itwould would be unposs imposs ble to have a babY babYm babyin babyin m in the house with one bath two twobedrooms twobedrooms twobedrooms bedrooms and tour four adult occupantsUncle occupantsUncle occupants occupantsUncle Uncle Dan is rather sweet and andw.llmg andwalling andwilling w.llmg wllmg walling . but Dad is exacting andcritical andcritical and critical , , , and never says an afIectIon affection afIectIonate affectionate affectionate ate or appreciative word But what whatcan whatcan whatcan can I 1 do ? " He is 64 and slightly lame lamefrom lamefrom lamefrom from tciabca sCiatica I 1 have a brother brotherwho brotherwho I brotherI who can send me $10 10 $ a month for forDad forDad ( orDad Dad s a keep but he demands that thatfor thatfor thaifor for tobacco My brother s w fe w willI willhave will l lI lbave I | have bave nothing to do . with v.ith vith Dad so be he PERMANENT GUESTS GUESTS'It GUESTSIt ' ' ' 11 It seems seem . ! cruel la to deny beloved belovedparen belovedparents belovedparents paren parents the comforts comfor of your home homedunng homeduring homeduring dunng during their thclr oldafe oldage old afe age a { e but bul Kalhleen Kathleen KalhleenNorru KathleenNorris KathleenNorns Norru Norris strongly believes belIeve . ! that some someUmes sometimes sometimes Umes times this thl . ! must mUlt be done She ex ex- explains explatns explains - - plains platns that chac no parent has the he ! nfhtto "ilhl ilhl right "ilhlto rightto " to ruin rum the happiness happmes , of his hI . ! chIldren chIldrenthrough childrenthrough childrenthrough through his hI . ! own self , sol/indulgence sol indulgence elfmdulgence selfindulgence elf / mdulgence indulgence If IfIhe I Ifthe f fthe Ihe the parents are that , selfish elfi.h elfih . . 111m Mrs 111mNo"1 MrsNorru SlissNorris No"1 No1 Norru " . ! recommends recommend3 that Ihat they be betoldnoc betoldnot betold betoldnot told-noc told noc told-not not - not asked Q11.ed-to Q11.edto Q11.ed Q11ed to asked-w asked w ; . - to live lwe somewhere somewhereelse somewhereelse somewhereelse somewhereelsecan else elsecan can t go there even for a visit- visit visitHehas . - He Hehas Hehas Hehas has not one cent of his rus own To put puthim puthim puthim him in m an institution mstltution would break breakhis breakhis breakhis his heart , , , and also mine mme I couldn 1 t 1bear tbear tbear bear to tell people where he was wasBut wasBut wasBut But it does seem like a deadlock as asthmgs asthings asthings thmgs things are now Frank is as constantlyannoyed constantly constantlyannoyed constantlyannoyed annoyed about it and I hate to have havethe havethe havethe the best husband in 10 the world hur bur hurdened burdened burdened dened with my folks- folks folksCan . - . Can you thInk thInkof thinkof thinkof of a way out ? outGet Get Rid R.d Rd . of D.m Dm Him D.mThe HimThe nimThe . The answer is that the only way wayout wayout wayout out is a hard one But I have kno VI vn ) vnmany vnmany many cases in 10 which it has worked workedand workedand workedand and it will work for you Immedl Immedi Immedlately Immediately Immediately ately without any argument . , put putthIs putthis putthis thIs worthless annoying old man intq intqan Intqan intqan an m mstitut institut tltut on Borrow on his msur insur msurance insurante msurance ance ante if 1l need be to pay the charges chargesat at some partly endowed home or orput orput orput put h m straight into the poor house houseThat houseThat houseThat That will bring brmg him to his senses sensesfor sensesfor sensesfor for the first time m in his Ius lIfeIn lifeIn life lifeIn In one case that I knew an aged agedman agedman agedman man of the sea got a job at the coun coup county coupty county ty farm found that he was a natural naturalvegetable naturalvegetable naturalvegetable vegetable gardener was permItted permittedto to sell surplus produce tor for is own ownprofit ownprofit ownprofit profit , , , and eventually turned into mto a auseful auseful auseful useful member of society In an another another another other case cas " an old woman made her herself herself hersell self to so helpful that the good nuns nunsplaced nunsplaced nunsplaced placed her in the posit on of head headcook headcook headcook cook and she was able to send mon money money money ey to a daughter who was in financial flnan finan flnanclal financial clal cial difficulties A . man of 64 can canbe canbe canae be busy and happy if he wants to tobe tobe tose be and if your father is persistently persistentlycntlcal persistentlycritical persistentlycritical cntlcal critical and miserable despite all allthat allthat allthat that a good daughter can do he de deserves deserves deserves serves nothing nothmg better than the poor poorhouse poorhouse poorhouse poorhouseOr house houseOr Or better find some country farm farmwhere farmwhere , where a woman will board him for for$25 for25 ! $25 25 $ or $30 30 $ a month There are many manysuch manysuch manysuch , such places Let her wrestle WIth WIthhis withhis withais his peculiar ties Ask your brother brotherfor brotherfor brotherfor for another $5 5 $ and make up the rest rest3ourselves restyourselves restyourselvesDon 3ourselves ourselves ourselvesDon 3ourselvesDon Don t Discuss It Do It ItDon ItDon ItDon Don t discuss dJscuss it with him at all allJust allJust allJust Just drive him there and say Dad Dadyour Dadyour Dadyour your things are all in m the back of ofthe ofthe ofthe the car Here s where you get outIf outIf out outIt It If Uncle Dan decides to go With Withhim withhim withhim him so much the better But get getfld getrid getrid fld rid of them both with the same samespeed samespeed samespeed speed that they would have gotten rid ridof ridof ridof of burdensome old relatives some some40 ' 40 years ago Old fathers and moth mothers mothers mothcrs ers can be delightful and contrlbuto contributo contnbutory contrlbutory contributory ry members of the family but 1l if 1lthey ifthey ifthey they don t choose to be then surely surelyyou surelyyou surelyyou you and your Frank are not the per persons persons persons sons to shoulder the ensuing ensumg unpleas unpleasantness unpleasantness unpleasantness antness It all depends upon you younow younow younow now and upon your capacity to face facea a few unpleasant hours rather than thana a lifetime 11letlme of slaveryEvery slaveryEvery slavery slaveryEvery Every human being bemg ought to plan planfor planfor planor for ( h s or her old age work for It it itdefinitely , , , definitely arrange tor for it Only a apart apart apart part of such foresight forcslght need be finan flnan financlal flnancoal financial clal coal the keeping ket'pmg ketpmg ' of friends the prlv priv privileges pnvlieges ileges eges of o ( service the capacity for forearnmg forearning ( orearning earnmg earning a D modest living lIvmg are all as asposs asposs asposs poss ble at 60 as at 26 No human humanbcmg humanbeing humanbeing bcmg being has a right to infl mfl infi ct his coinpany com corn company cornpany pany upon a young married pair pairbe pairbe pairbe be his claim that of father uncle unclemother unclemother unclemother mother mother mothcr in m law or any other otherNothlDg otherNothing otherNothing NothlDg Nothing destroys the security of ofmarriage ofmarriage ofmarriage marriage so qu ckly as to have havc an anuncongenIal anuncongenial anuncongenial uncongenIal person planted in the thehome thehome thehome home a person whom only death deathwill deathwill deathwill will remove It will be a poor sat satIsfacUon satrsfactron satisfaction IsfacUon rsfactron to Blanche 20 years tzomnow from fromnow fromnow now to realize tha that t she not only onlysacrificed onlysacrificed onlysacrificed sacrificed Frank but her childrel1 children childrel1and childrenand childrenand and her home to this spoiled poLled old olddespot olddespot olddesoot despot . . |