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Show . .tu tu . .obb obb . : : h1&11)24 h11124 & ) CLDO-ut CLDO ut aba ahotrt ahotrtS ahotrtANTA CLDOutQANTA t - SANTA S QANTA ANTA MONICA . , CALIF CALIF.k- CALIF.k CALIF.kSo . - ' So soon as this tIus thus , wIth wIthboth withboth withboth both tickets tIch.cts tIchcts . just put up , folks folksalready folksalready folksalready already are saying saY1l1g this is 15 start start- starting starting starting - ing out to he be a bitter campaignthe campaign campaignthe -the the - the bitterest blttcrest , perhaps , Slllce since Slllceaway sinceaway sinceaway away back in 1895 1896 1$95 195 $ . My guess is these prophets don't dont don'trealize don'trealize don'trealize dontrealize ' realize the twentieth part of it it . . I'm Im I'mremmded I'mreminded ' I'mreminded Imreminded ' remmded reminded of whathappened what whatSi l , H.T HT ; . ] happened when my myold Si | myRy " 7 / , old friend , CoL BillHayward BillY Billfk Bill fk f Y 3 3Hayward i/ i ill . / ll Hayward ywsrd , saIl s sailed a i l e d dwith da dqa a qa v * + 1 with bis hIs negro regl-A regl A regi- regi regiment regiment - - ment for France Francedurmg France"t Francet " - k v 'yy yy ' . " during durmg the war war.tV wartV . 4t 4tN 4tN N N C I The outfit embarked embarked cm- cm em- em cmIy - Iy ? barked at nIght nighti . . # Mt 4 4S \S S \ Ncxtmornmg Nextmornmg Next morning , whenthe when wheniL iL wasB wasBf . a y , i i ihe the transport was waswell . \/f f \ / ri x xpop ! n < well out at sea a apop " popeyed pop eyed trooperIrvin trooperIrvin trooper trooperIrvinS.Cobb Cobbfrom from the interiorSouth interIor interIorSouth crior criorSouth Irvin IrvinS.Cobb IrvinSCobb S . Cobb South stood staring staringat at the endless watery expanse . "Boy Boy "Boys Boys " ! " he exclaimed to a companion com com- compamon companion - panion pamon , , , "dis dis "dlS dlS " sbo shot sho shotis ' is one big blg ocean oceans ocean"Mos oceanMos ' " "Mos Mos " ' doubtless , " stated the second sec sec- second second - ond soldier , "but but Hbut " , son , whut svhut you's yous you's100J.in you'slookin you'slookin youslookin ' 100J.in 100Jin lookin . ' at now is only jes de top toplayer toplayer toplayer layer . , " . . . The Union UDlon Party PartyAT PartyA PartyT T CLEVELAND there therc was harmony har- har harmony - . AT mony and a quiet interment mtennent forthe for forthe forthe the old Guard At Pwladelphla Philadelphia Philadelphiathe Pwladelphlathe the proceedings moved along on ongreased ongreased ongreased , greased rollers But for real redl ex- ex excitement excitement ex excitement - - citement , wait waft until that new Umon Union Umonparty Unionparty Unionparty party holds its conventionThen conventionThen convention conventionThen Then will be the signal to remove removethe removethe removethe the women and children c1uldren to a place placeof placeof placeof of safety . Just consider who'll wholl ' be bethere bethere bethere there : The Inflationists who think thmk that thatas , , as long as we have government en- en engravmg engraving en engraving - graving gravmg plants and printing prmtIng presses pressesmoney , money should be plentiful . . The Thegroup Thegroup Thegroup group committed conumtted to the idea that thatIf , if the ! farmer armer won't wont ' do somethmg something somethingfor somethmgfor for himself 1umself , something somethmg should be bedone bedone bedone done for the farmer Doctor Town- Town Townsend Townsend Town-send Town send - - send , with Wlth his lus project to provide old oldage oldage oldage age pensions for everybody over oversIXty oversixty oversixty sIXty except e'Ccept eCcept " ' Congressman McGoar- McGoar McGoarty McGoarty McGoar-ty McGoar ty - - ty . . Father Coughlin , , calling callmg for so- so social social so social - - cial justice and better radio hook hook- hookups hookups hookups - ups Huey Long's Longs ' successor , who'd whod who'dshare who'dshare who'dshare whodshare ' share the wealth and make every everyman everyman everyman man a king . . . Ai Al Smith's Smiths ' Strategy StrategyAs StrategyA StrategyS As S AN old time tune headhner headllner headliner of ot poI1hcal political po- po poLA - - LA htical I1hcal litical vaudeville , Al AI SmIth SmIthshollid Smithshould Smithshould shollid should have known better than thm : to topull topull topull pull that ancient nnclent whceze-shootmg whceze shootmg wneeze-shooting wneeze shooting whcezeshootmgat wneezeshootingat wheeze - - shootingat at Philadelphia PhlladeJphla letter carriers carners on a aSunday aSunday aSunday Sunday afternoon . And besides , think thmh . of the desper desper- desperate desperate . - ate chance he and his supporting supportingquartet supportingquartet supportingquartet quartet of sharpshooters took took"come tookcome ' " come between a mother panther pantherand pantherand pantherand and her cubs ; come between a aFrenchman aFrenchman aFrenchman Frenchman and his rus sus fracas ; come comebetween comebetween comebetween between a radio announcer and his hiselocution hiselocution hiselocution elocution , but never , right on the theeve theeve theeve eve of their thelr national convention , try tryto tryto tryto to come between betwecn a flock of office office- officeholding offlce-holding offlce holding - . boldIng holding Democrats and the pros pros- prospect prospect . - pect of four more unmterrupted uninterrupted unmterruptedyears uninterruptedyears uninterruptedyears years of the same . . . . Trouble of Travelers TravelersOUTSIDE TravelersO TravelersUTSIDE Travelers/"MJTSIDE Travelers "MJTSIDE MJTSIDE / " UTSIDE the larger cities cltIes , when whenf whena OUTSIDE O -f f - a hotel manager wishes to show showa a special guest special atten atten- attention attention attention - tion , , he assigns him to the bed bed- bedchamber bedchamber bedchamber - chamber of state which wluch usually Is Ison ison ison on the second floor , . invariably mvarlably is isat Isat isat at the front of the house and nearly nearlyalways nearlyalways nearlyalways always on the corner where elec elec- electrIc elec- elec electric electric - - tric signs twinkle twmk1e merrily tIll tIlldaylight tilldaylight tilldaylight daylight In the poor sleepless sleeplesswretch's sleeplesswretch's sleeplesswretch's sleeplesswretchs wretch's wretchs ' eyesAnd eyesAnd eyes eyesAnd And along toward 2 a m a party partynamed partynamed partynamed named Dewey , standing in the thestreet thestreet thestreet street below , will start telling n a nparty aparty aparty party named Pink Pmk , , , about sumpln sumpin sumplnmighty sumpinmighty sumpinmighty mighty comical that's thats thnt's thnts ' come up upSad'd:1Y upSad'day upSad'day upSadday Sad'd:1Y Sadd1Y Sad'day Sadday ' ' : night whereupon Pink Pmk will willbe willbe willbe be moved to recall a n few social socialTeminiscences socialreminiscences socialreminiscences Teminiscences reminiscences of his own . . . . . Convention Invocations InvocationsALTHOUGH InvocationsLTHOUGH InvocationsA ALTHOUGH LTHOUGH a southerner-how- southerner how southerner-how southernerhowever southerner - how- how howrx . - . rx ever , not working at the trade tradeas tradeas ! as steadily as some-I some I some - - I have to tosnicker tosnicker I snicker when a Democratic senator senatorwalks senatorwalks senatorwalks walks out on his own convention conventionbecause conventionbecause conventionbecause because a colored preacher asks asksthe asksthe asksthe the divine blessing blessmg on its delibera del1bera delibera- deliberations deliberations . - tIon tions ! . . Which reminds me ; : The Tbe first time that great Texan Tcxan.Jim TcxanJim . , Jim Hogg , , ran for tor the governorshipbis governorshiphis governorship his party split . , The bolters joined joinedWlth joinedwith joinedwith Wlth with the Republican outfit-most outfit most outfit-most- outfitmostly outfit - - most mostly . - ly Iy black-to black to black - to put up a fusion ticket ticketAt . . At this pinto convention , , , tho the Rev Rev"Sin RevSin . "Sin Sin " Killer Klller " Griffln Gritnn Griffin , a n famous tamous black blackevangel1st blackevangelist blackevangelist evangel1st evangelist , , delivered del1vered the invoca invoca- invocation invocation - . tion . . In concluding , he threw an anunexpected anunexpected anunexpected unexpected bombshell into the pie pie- pi piebald piebald - bald ranks by earnestly urging urgmg the theLord theLord theLord Lord to put Hogg Rogg in the governor's governors governor'schair governor'schair governor'schair governorschair ' chair . Terrific Terriflc uproar ensued . Finally a adusky adusky adusky dusky stalwart got the floor fioor . , "I I " 'I I ' moves , " he ne bellowed , "dat dat Hdat " dIs dIsyerc disyere disyere yerc yere traitors traitorsome orne and on Republik- Republik RepublikJ.n Republikin Republik-ia Republik ia - J.n Jn in . prayer be expunged from de derecord derecord derecord record . . , " Majestically M:1jestically M1jestically : : , "Sin Sin " Killer " erected erectedblmselt erectedhimself erectedhimself f fM:1jestically blmselt himself . . . \ "I I " 1 rises , " he stated , "to to Uto " a p'mt pmt p'int pint p'mtof p'intof p'intof pintof ' of order . _ It's Its ' too late to e Punge expunge expungefrum expungetrum Pungetrum " < trum frum de dc record a prayer v/hich v hich WhICh / al- al already already al already - ready done got to heaven heavcn morc'n morcn morc'nl morc'nfive morc'nfive morc'nfive morcnfive ' ' five minutes ago " IRVIN S . COBB COBB.0 COBB0 . l C-w C w ci--wz ci wz - - - WI : , . U ServJcoI Service ServJco servioo I " , j |