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Show FABLES FAB ES I . , IN SLANG AI @ IIellsrndiret IIS'lldk8t8 IISlldk8t8 IIS'lldk8t8By ) ' . By GEORGE ADE ADEWzUSmf ADEwi.nscriHe WzUSmf wi.nscriHe winscriHe WzUSmfo . , . o . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - S TJ TJS TJi TJJti , i Jti , xs ) 1 1a ' " o a ' ? H HA A r rt , t T 1 - ' . - : iI : ' C _ j . .I I . e10 . K IP4 'VdLtt VdLtt ' Z Zpn i-- i pn - . - - ; ; iThe The Blush of Youth THE UNFLINCHING UNFLINCHINGHEROINE UNFLINCHINGHEROINEHNCE HEROINE HEROINEO HEROINENOD . NOD there was a Good Wom Worn WomI Woman Wornan Wornan I HNCE ONC O an \ who ho , , next nel.t nelt : . to Miry l\hry l hry \ Queen Queenof Queenof Queenof of Scots , piobably plobably probably sufferedmore sufferedmore suffered sufferedmore more thin th'ln thln than ' any nny other Proml Promi Promlnent Promineat Prominent nent neat Lidy L'ldy Lldy ' of whom "horn horn " we use \ \ e have hale ha \ e Record Rec Record Record ord It111 It \ will \\111 111 \ be recalled recaned that Mary Marystarted Marystarted Marystarted started out as a proudloo'lrch proud : \ Momrch \loo'lrch loo'lrch loolrch Monlrch ' , and andfinished andfinished andfinished finished up as a Martr Martyr Mart ; r , while Ills bits IllsWambo bitsWambo ! MisWambo Wambo started out as a DemocriticFixture Democr'ltlc Democrltlc Democratic Democr'ltlcriture Democraticrhture ' riture rhture . : ' ' ind 'lod lod 'and and finished up as a Ga7eUe Gazelle Ga7eUeThe GazelleThe GazelleThe The unfortunate Qu Queen n of Scots had hadher hadher hadher her head cut off MrsVambo Mrs \ Wimbo W'lmbo Wlmbo \Vambo Vambo ' did didnot didnot didnot not go quite that far , but she under underwent underwent underwent went a \ Mijor l\l'1jor l l'1jor l1jor ' Operation , which whichseemed whichseemed whichseemed seemed just as Important , and andwhich andwhich andwhich which was preceded by as much muchSuspense muchSuspense muchSuspense Suspense , Doubt and Trepidation as asth'1t asthU astint th'1t th1t thU ' \ which \ hlch racked the Rc Royal ; > yal PrIs Prls Prlsoner PrIsoner Prisoner PrisonerMrs oner onerIrs oner"sirs Mrs \Irs Irs "sirs sirs ' \ " Wambo , before she got Into Intothe intothe Intothe the Jam , had been mained malned married so many manyYe'lrs manyYears manyYeirs Ye'lrs Yelrs Years ' that she had concealed ill 111 all ' theRecords the theHecords theRecords Hecords Records and chinged ch'lnged chlnged changed ' the Subject Subject"hen Subjectwhen Subjectwhen "hen hen when " some careless carelcss Friend rnend begin beg'ln begln ' to todig todig todig dig up Dites D'ltes Dltes Dates ' She owned up to r re rememberrng remembeung ( ' membellng memberrng the Spanish AmericinWar Amerlc'ln Amerlcln Amerlc'in Amerlcin Amerlc'lnWar Amerlc'inWar ' War , but the Details had become becomeblurred becomeblurred becomeblurred blurred , because sheas she \ was \\as as \ so young youngat youngat youngat at tlie the TImeWhatccr TimeWhateser Time TimeWhatever Whatever Whatc\cr Whatc cr Whateser \ miy m'lY mlY my ' hive h'l\e h'l hl e hlse ' \ been her Vm Vin Vmtage Vintage Vintage tage , she had a hol holy holv ; } noiror IIoHor Horror of looh look loohIng lookIng looLIng Ing old , or feeling old or ' luting 'l"tIng ltIng 1'ting 1ting " ' ' as asIf asIf asIt If on the Retired List She rcfened referred refenedto rcfenedto referredto to the other Bridgers as Girls 'Girls ' ' " and andwould andwould would \ \ ould warn any Bichelor B'lchelor Blchelor Bachelor ' , on theslightest the theslightest theslightest slightest Pro\ Pro Provocation ProocaUon Prosocation \ ocaUon , tint th'1t th1t ' her ber Hus Husband Husband Husband band w \ was as jealousShe jealousShe jealous jealousShe She had a Pair of Scales In her herBath herBath herBath Bath Room and had tried a FacnlMask raCI'll raCIll racnl raCI'll'lash racnlMask ' 'lash lash Mask ' . and 51 sit srs " ' : or se\ se seven seen sewn \ en Years ago agoh'1d agohid agohid h'1d h1d hid ' learned to walk loose and andslouchy andslouchy andslouchy slouchy , ni.e nie lIke . a Leading Lady In a a$3 a3 $3 3 $ Show Also she wore "ore ore " i a ' 'lone lone one pieceContraption piece pieceContraption pieceContraption Contraption \ which hlch conceiled conCC'lled conCClled conceded ' hE'r hEr hE'rKnee herKnee herKnee ' Knee Caps unless she had to sit In Ina Ina Ina a Steamer Steumer Ch'llrSEVEN Ch'ulrSEVEN Chilr Ch'llr Chllr Ch'ulr Chulr ChilrSEVEN ' SEVEN SUTHERLAND SISTERSbhe SISTERSShe SISTERS SISTERS&he &he he bhe She & had a perfectly laudable Am AmblUon Ambition Ambitlon blUon bition to keep on looking loohlng an In Ingenue Ingenue Ingenue genue until thev they the chopped her down downWhen downVhen downWlien When \Vhen Vhen \ < . ; she he got red In the face after afterdancing afterdancing afterdancing dancing continuously for about for forty forty forty ty Minutes lmutes , she Lidded hh1ded kidded herself that thatthe thatthe thathe the High Hlgh Color was the Flush rIush of ofGirlhood ofGirlhood oGirlhood Girlhood Instead of a n warning warningaga warningagainst warnin ; aga against nst Apoplexy .Apople Apople . y . From rrom this Preamble It \ will \ 111 be e\ e eI eul edent euldent evident \ I dent that her name should hae hale halebeen ha\ ha habeen havebeen \ e been : ' Mrs 'Ill's Ills ' Ponce de Leon If It there thereas therewas therewas \\as as was \ \ any Fountain rountaln rountain of Youth , shewanted she shewanted shewanted wanted to hunt It up and dive dhe dlue In Inhead , head first . . , It happened that one morning morningMrs morningMrs Mrs lrs Wambo awoke a\\ohe a ohe \ \ and dlsco\ered dlsco ered discosered dlscoeredthat discoseredthat discoveredthat \ that the Seven Seen Se\ Se \ en Sutherland Sutherlaud Sisters Sistershad Sistershad Sistershad had become a Joke Johe It may be re remembered remembered remembered membered that th these those se Girls had hadtres"es hadtresses hadtresses tres"es treses tresses " which swept the Ground and andwere andwere were \ \ ere copious all aU the wiy ssly \ \ 1y ' downWhen down downWhen downWhen When all aU of the seen sev se\ se sex \ en were bunched bunchedthe , , the View from behind was like llhe that thatof thatof thatof of Nilgan Nl1gar'l Nl1garl Niagara ' raIlsMrs fallsMrs Falls raIls FallsMrs Mrs Wflinbo Wambo recilled rec'1Ued rec1Ued recalled ' tint th\t th t tliit ' \ . , In herSeminary her herSeminary herSeminary Seminary Davs Days Da s , ita It \\a a \ was \ ' ) the longing longingof of cveiy evelY every Sub Deb to be a Suther Suther- Sutherland Sutherland Sutherland - land , . , so that " when hen the ' Mop 'fop fop was let letdown letdown letdown down It would reich re'lcb relcb retch ' to the Anlles AnllesIn Ani Anl les lesIn IcsIn In fact . , It seemed that Long Hall Hali Hallhad Halihad Hallliad had been the Rage Rabe from the Days D.1Ys D1Ys . of ofIve ofDye olEve Ive Dye . ; , Cleopatra Cleopntra and Ladv Lady Lnd GodhaImagine GodisaImagine Godlva Godha Godisa GodlvaImagine Imagine the Shock Shocl . which came to toMrs toMrs toMrs Mrs Wambo " when hen slie she learned that thatthe thatthe thaithe the Flippers rl'lllIJers rllllIJers l'hppers lhppers ' ' , Instead Instcad of wcarln wearing It Itdo itdown 11down don down do\\ do \ \ n to the Ankles , had decided dcclded to towear tcwear wear \ ear it only as fir f'if fif far ' as the first firstCen firstCersical firsiCervical Cen Cersical lcal Vertebrae Some moderr7oan modern modern10an modernThan 10an Than of Arc Are , residing In Paris , h'ld hld hid h'ldtahen hidtaken hidtaken ' tahen taken a Tip from the Dutch KJds Kids KJdsand Kidsand Kid'and Kidand ' and Buster lluster Brown and hid h'ld hld ' ampu amputated amputated amputatcd tated tlie the " whole "hole hole Works Worl"s Worls " just belo\\ belo beloss belothe belossthe belowthe \ the Ears ars It seemed that thnt \ within ssithiu \ Ithln 24 24hours 2-ihours 2 ihours 4 4hours - hours all the Cutles in tlie the world worldwere workwere were \ \ ere tbrobbln throbbing with I\.cltement I.cltement I .cltement cltement ILicltement I.cltementnnd ILicltementand : . Excltemeniand ' \ . nnd and wondering It if thev thej they would dare to tofollow tofollow tcfollow follow Suit SuitSITUATION . . SITUATION LOOKS GRAVE GRAVEThe GRAVEThe GRAVEThe I GRAVEI The answer was not long delayed delayedAll delayedAll : AU All of the Young Ones fell fcU for the theI thlad thladUilrplns ( 1 I ad adIhlrpIns adHairpins Uilrplns IhlrpIns Hairpins an nnd and Side Combs sudden suddenIly suddenly suddenly Ily ly bciame bculme became a Drug on the Marl"et Marlet Market Marketbut Markcibut " : but all the tbe Factories rnctorles ractories making mahlng Toilet Toileti ToiletSoap ToiletSoap TollciSoap i Soap began to workIght ' " work ork - . \ Mght r-.ISllt r.ISllt r .ISllt ISllt \Ight Ight Shifts Shirts Wlien When the new Crate Craze Cra < se began to tosweep t tsweep < ' sweep the Woodlands and piair plaIr pialr es esMrs , Mrs Mrsambo " \ Wambo "ambo ambo \\ambo \ spoke light Ilght Eight up and andsaid andsaid ancsaid said It was Ternble Terllble Terrible She pulled theOld the theOld theOld Old One about ahout a Woman's Womans ' Chief ChiefGlory ChiefGlory ClilelGlory Glory being her Hiir H'llr Hllr ' ' ' ind 'lnd lnd 'rnd rnd she could couldn't couldn't couldn't couldnt n't nt ' imagine Imngme what wbat some of the Young YoungGirls YoungGirls YoungGirls Girls were wcre thinking t1unklng of when thejsacuficcd they theysacl1ficed theysacrificed sacl1ficed sacrificed a Top Knot on which the\ the then theh'ld thenhad thevhid \ h'ld hld had ' been working wOlklng for 1 leirs e us lUre Mrs MrsWambo MrsWambo ; "ambo ambo Wambo " stuck , to her Waves haves ' " aves and andrrlz7es andrriz7es amFrizzes rrlz7es rriz7es and the artificial Stu Stufltng Stufltngand Stuflincand hng hngand and any an ; suggestion that some day dayshe dayshe da ; she might join the great Sisterhood Sisterhoodof of Bobs \ would \ ould hive hwe g1\ g1 given g1en grsen \ en her the theHlbby theHibby thHibby ( Hlbby Hibby Jibbles JlbbIes Besides , , she and the theother theother thother ( other ioung young oung Mitrons l\htrons l htrons Matrons \ who tollecat tolled toiled tolledIlt toiledat Ilt at the Card Tables c\ c es every cery \ ery cry diy d'1Y d1Y day ' pre predlcted predieted predieted dlcted dieted that the \ whole \ hole Thing was wasjust wasjust wasjust just a cl temporary CrazeAs CrazeAs Craze CrazeAs As Month 'lonth lonth ' after Month 'Ilonth Ilonth : ' passed bvand b b3 b3and ; } and the number of Victims increasedand increased increasedand increaseiand and Rumor Humor ltumor bad had it that Elsie Isle J'1nis J1nis Janls JinisCarrie ' , Carrle Carrie Chapmin Chapm'ln Chapmln Chapm'rn Chapmrn ' ' Catt , Elsie Isle Fer Ferguson Fergubon . gu.ou guou guson : . , Ethel thel Ban-imole Ban imole Barrymote Barr - ; } mOl e , BebtDaniels Bebe BebeDaniels BebeDaniels Daniels , Queenlary Queen : \ Mary \lary lary , Glcnni Glenn'1 Glenn1 Glenna ' Collett Collettand Colletland I and Galli Galhi Curd Curci Curdl had succumbed , the thesituatIon thesituation th thsituation < situation begin beg'1n beg1n ' to look looh seriousT seriousSIGNS serious seriousSIGNS T . , " -SIGNS SIGNS - I ISIGNS SIGNS OF WOBBLING WOBBLINGMr \ Mr l\lr l lr W " "ambo ambo \ \ ambo began to notice noUce th1t thlt thltthe th1tthe thi thithe < the Missus , instead of siylng s'lytng slytng saying ' that thatanv thatany thaiany anv any Woman beyond 30 who got gotshingled gotshingled goshingled ) shingled vv w \ \ is 'lS lS 15 ' a Hussi Huss3 lIuss , , begin beg'1n beg1n ' to staland stall stallnnd stalland nnd and asl ask " Questions She wanted to tohnow toknow tknow ( hnow know of him It If he thought tbought It was wasDignified wasDignified wasDignified Dignified of a Woman who had a aDaughter aDaughter iDaughter Daughter In Smith bmIth College to him trim himherself trimherself tiluherself herself up like llhe a Soubrctte Soubrette and try tryto tr ; to step ou out t \ when \ hen she should sbould have haveno haveno hav havno < no ambition ambtUon except el.cept elcept : . to creite cre'lte crelte ' 1Home 1 ' 1Home 'Home Home ' Home Atmosphere for her Husband Husbandand Husbandand Husbancand and Children Mr Wambo w wis 1S twlcas t twice twiceas " IcE ( ' as foxy fol.Y folY : . and said he thought that the theModern thModern ( Iodern Modern Womin Wom'1n Wom1n Woman ' had a Right to do doAnythIng doAnything dAnything ( AnythIng \ which . hlch would not be bestopped bestopped bstopped ( stopped by the Police PoUce He IIe had ieacthe lead read leadthe readthe the Signs an and seen the Hand\\ Hand Handdtlng Handwriting Handwritingon \ dtlng dtlngon on the tbe WallShe WallShe Wall WallShe She sbo\\ sbo showed sboed \ ed him In the tbe paper paperwhere paperwhere papciwhere where Mrb Ml Mrs ' ) : , Pillsbury of RockCllPenna Roch.fill Rochfill Rockfill Roch.fillPenna RockfillPenna . Penna , had been Bobbed at the age ageof ageof agof ( of ' 82 8'2 and said It made her look and andfeel andfeel amfeel feel Forty rorty Years Younger Younge1 and she shewanted shewanted sh shwanted < wanted to know if he didn dldn t thlnl think thinkit thiniIt " It ItTas \ was \Tas Tas ridiculous but he said tliat that If ifMrs 1)Mrs 1Mrs ) Mrs Irs PJllsbur PJllsburas Pillsbuo Pillsbury \ was \\as as \ satisfied , he lie hethougbt liethought hthought ( thougbt thought It was Great . . Then there came a Day when sshen \ \ hen she shepuUed shepulled slipulled ( puUed pulled a False raIse Giggle and Slid 1d [ that thatLIb thatLib thaiLib LIb and Gert \ were \ ere both after nfter her to togo togo tgo ( go to a Place In the Union Ul110n Centlal Central CentlalBuildng CentralBuilding CentiaBuilding Buildng Building [ whore where there " was "as as a man manwho manwho marwho who had learned It Ine inew In I \e\\ e \ew ew ! \ ew eYOlh \ Yoiland YOlh York Yorkand . and who wbo could ad\ ad advise adIse \ Ise as 11S to which whichStyle \ vvhiciStvie \ hich hichSt St Style ; } Ie \ would \ ould be most becoming She Shehad Shehad Sirhad had no Intention of going gomg but It was wasa \ wasa \ a- a a11 : - 11 a Fact ract Pact tliat that a great many manv Worneiever Women WomenC Womeneser C\ C Cer eser \ er so much older th thin In She h'l hl hid hidbeen hitbeen ' been done over and you'd youd ' be sur surpri.ed surprised surpriced pri.ed pried prised . : whit wh'lt whlt ' a Chinje Ch'lne Chlne Chane ' , ; It made madeNO madeNO madeNO NO ETHER USED USEDWeeks USEDWeeks Weeks Weehs before the big I\ I : Event Ient Eient \ ent e\ e eerv eserv eservone everone \ erv ervone one but Mrs lrs Wambo knew tint UJ'1t UJ1t thit ' shp she shewas sbiwas was \ \ as sUppIngrlnaUy slippingfinally slipping sUppIng slippingFinally Finally rlnaUy she sbe hung the whole Responslblllty Re- Re Responsibility Responsibility - - sponsibility on to Wambo Wnmbo She said saidtll'1t saidtlilt sal saltint < tint tll'1t tll1t tlilt ' It If he Insisted 1nslsted on it , , she would wouldgo woul woulgo ( go the 'lbe lbe ' id ld and h'l\ h'l hl his hive h'le ' \ e a It doneThen doneThen done doneThen Then camo came the tense Weeks Weahs durIng dur durlng durlag lng lag which she he vvas was \ \ as trying to decide decidewhether dccidiwhether whether \ \ hether to have a Boyl&h Boylh Boyish oyI&h oyIh & Bob or a aShingle aShingle iShingle Shingle 01 or a Terrace Effect JIect or the theI thiI I Ish isli Hook book Dingle Dangles or some somebcaUop someScallops somiScallops bcaUop Scallops & * ScallopsOn On the Diy D1y 1Y when she " went "ent ent to tothe tothe t tthe < the Union Central Building llulldlng the SUD Sun SUDtood Sunstood Suibtood /tood tood stood / ) ; still etlll and Traffic Trame Tratlle was suspend suspended suspended ed She refused to take any Ancsthetlcs Anes AnesthetIcs Anesthetlcs thetIcs thetlcs nnd and went through tbrough the Orde11 Ordeal Orde11absolutely Ordealabsolutely Ordeiabsolutely absolutely alone except cl.cept clcept : . for Ll Lib and andGert andGert an anGert < Gert , Ella D11a an and Jess |