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Show $ EEN ah d HEARD HEARDo 1 1MAIN o/ o ot / t MAIN STREET SmELT STREETSPRING SmELTI SmELTSPRINGand SmELTw w 1 I i SPRING-md SPRING md SPRING-and and SPRING - : and time now totlun'b.mg to be bethmling bethinking tlun'b.mg tlunb.mg tlunbmg thmling ' . of SQUI Sour om gal gardenr gaiden garden den r * . . . But , , ! Mars tlars Pope advises , , don't dont don'tput don'tput don'tput dontput ' ' put in m more garden than your yourwife yourwife 'Ire Ire wife " ' can hoe . * . . . I SPRING PONE PO POMENow IE INow I INOv NO\v NO v Now \ I sit me down do"n don " to towork t to "ork ork work "orkI workI " workI I hope to goodness godness : Ion I \\on on \ wont on t shirk shirkIf , If through throughI I should snooze "orkI before I'm Im I'mthrough I'mthrough I'mthrougli Imthrougli I'mthrougliI ' ' I I hope the boss is snoozing snozmg { ) , , to tooAnd too . * . . I And " when "hen hen you J ou au get iour your J our new newI newSprmg newSpring newSpring I Sprmg Spring outfit , remember that no nomatter nomatter nomatter noI I matter how bow many man } , ) fine fme clothesyou clothes clothesou clothesJ J > : you ou wear , , It it's its ' ' : ; the expression onyour on onour I IJ J your our face race thot that is most nwst import Import- ImportI Important important important - I ant * . . . Pretty Prett'lt Prettlt ' soon , , too we well 11 have to tobegm tobegin tobegin begm begin thinking thmkmg of politics pohtlcs But vv \ webet \ e ebet ebet bet there are a lot of pigs that thaton thatwont thatwont \\on on wont \ \ t be rooting rootmg for the Republi Republl- Republl Republi- Republlcans Republicans Republicans - - cans -cans this year All plo\\ plo plowed ploed \ \ ed under . . * . . . BORE The guy who talks so somuch somuch somuch much getin about himself hm1Self you can cant t get In a word about yourself"Most yourself . . . "Mostinteresting "Most Most " intcrestinc mterestmg interesting , , " " said the sweet seet s\\ s sweetyoung sweetoung \ eet young oung thing thmg to Ralph FIetcher Fletcher , the themoter themotor themotor moter motor car sal salesman man , "and and " no now " I show me the depreciation , please . I Ihear Ihear 'hear hear ' hear it s is is heavy m cars . . " "As As " a matter of fact faet , , madam madam"replied madamreplied , , " " rephed replied Ralph , , , "we we " found it a source sourceof sourceof sourcof of worry and had it remov removed ( ' } al- al altogether altogether altogether - - together ; ! " . . . Unseen Ul1Seen by the referee , , the allmwrestler all-m all m allmwrestler all-inwrestler all inwrestler - wrestler bit his opponent severely seerely se\ se severely"You severely"You \ erely erely"You "You You " re biting , ' ; , ' hissed the suf- suf sufferer sufferer sufferer - - ferer fererVell ' Well \Vell Vell \ , , " gasped his rus adversary ad\-ersary ad ersary \ - , , "do do "doyer "doyer "dyer dyer " yer expect e\.pect e.pect e .pect pect \ . me to swaller yer in m a alump : lump9 lump ? " ' S . . . DefimtiontIT DefinitionMr Definition Defimtion DefinitionMr Mr tIT ! and \ Mrs l\Irs l Irs Dionne are said to tobe tobe tbe be anxiously an\.lously an.lously an .lously lously an'uously anuously ' \ . ' awaiting awalhng release of the thefilm thefilm thfilm film film , , . 'The The ' Country Doctor , " In InCanada inCanada i ; Canada , so they can get a glImpse glImpseIof glimpseif glimpstof Iof if their quintuplets qumtuplets . . . No , they don t serve drinks drmks at atbanquets atbanquets atbanquets banquets to make the speakers speakersltty speakersaltty speakerswitty \\ltty ltty altty \ \ . . It Its s so the others w1ll will w1llthmk willthink willthink thmk think the speakers witty wltty . . . . Speaking Speak.ing . of bridge , . Dad Gummlt Gummit Gummltobserves Gummitobserves Gummitobserves observes that when the club meets meetsIt meetiit It is the absent members who get getthe gethe ge gethe < the he most slamsFable slams . * . . FableOnce FableOnce Fable FableOnce Once upon a time , , in a contract contractbradge contractbridge bradge bridge game , a player openedIth opened \\Ith Ith with \ witha Itha a bid of two , and nobody e.clalmcdThy exclaimed e\.clalmcd e.clalmcd e .clalmcd clalmcd elclaimcd ' \ . , , Why 'Why " ' \Thy Thy \ , , that's thats ' forcing forclDg ! " " . . * . Ralph Millei Millel Miller ' 'Come Come ' on , Qorge George { ! hurl hurry Georgehurry Qorgehurl ' ) ' and wrap up Mrs Brown's Browns Brown'snbs Brown'sribs Brown'snbs Brownsnbs ' nbs ribs " George Burck- Burck Burck"Alright BurckAlright ' - "Alright Alright " , , Ralph Ralphas as soon as I ha\e ha e have \ sawed sav.ed saved . off Mrs MrsSnuth MrsSmith MrsSmiths Snuth Smith s leg and weighed Mrs MrsI MrsJones MrsJones MrsJones Jones s 11\ 11 li\er li er 11er liver \ \ er " . * . . I Definition DefirutIon DefirutIonUNDESffiABLE DefinitionUNDESIRABLE DefinitionUNDESIRABLE UNDESIRABLE UNDESffiABLE HOUSE GUEST GUESTThe GUESTThe GUESTThe I GUESTI The type that writes "ha ha " ha " after afterthe afterthe afterthe the jokes in his letters |