OCR Text |
Show ' I F FJottings Jottings From Froma . I II'II FromII II 'II II 'IIa I ' a Prodigal Son SonDear SonDear Son ] Dear Blshi BlshThIS BishThis Bish Blsh BishThis i This week I thought I Id d write you a aa aa aa a few lines Hnes of "Duke Duke " s Mixture MIJo.ture MIJoture . " In a aI afew afew afew few more days we well 11 ha\e ha e ha.e hae base \ . the sales tax taxi taxwith taxwith taxwith i with us What a pleasure it will be foi fOl fOlall foiall , jall all the poor We have the income tax tax'sith taxwith 'Ith Ith 'sith sith ' ' its privilege of one buck to dig up upwhether upwhether upwhether whether we have any income or not notThen notThen , Then we have a multitude of othertaxes other otherta , Ita"Ces ta"Ces taCes taxes " es to take care of at the end of the theI theyear thesear I I year ear The water tax comes regularly regularlyeach regularlyeach I II Ieach each month , 01 of quarterly , just lust as the theworked theworked I I worked to death officials get out the thebi11 thebill thebill bi11 bill So take it all 311 in all , we have taxes taxesI taxesand taxesand taxesand and death staring starmg us in the face taxesI 365 365days 365days 365days I I days in the year Thank God , there thereare thereare thereare are no more days because if thele theie theleI theie's theiewere I 's s \ ' \ ere we wed d have that many more taJo.es taJoes taxes taJo.esBut taxesBut taxesBut . But in just lust a few days more and It ItWln itwill itwill Wln will be da daily y , m case we have to buy buyanythmg buyanythmg buyanything anythmg from tlie the merchantThey merchant merchantThey They say that anger is a better betterI betterweapon betterweapon betterweapon weapon than tears , but a burr commands com com- commands commands - I I betterI mands more respect than the sensitive sensitiveplant sensitiveplant sensitiveplant plant I Ive lye ve always ah.ays ahays . thought so when I Ihappened Ihappened Ihappened happened to get hold of oneThere oneThere one oneThere There are f fifty-seven fifty seven ty-seven ty seven - varieties of oflove oflove oflove love , anyone any one of which is guaranteed to toget toget toget get you into mto a pickle I don dont t remember remem remem- remember remember - ber how many pickles I Ive ve ye been inbut inbut in inIn but-- but but- butI - - . butIn butIn In order to be happy , a woman womanneeds womanneeds womanneeds I needs only a good digestion , a satisfactory satisfactory satis- satis satisfactory - - - | factory complexion compleXlon and a lover . The Thefirst Thefirst Thefirst first requirement being met , , the second secondis is not difficult to td > obtain , and the third thirdfollows thirdfollows thirdfollows follows as a matter of courseThe course TheSpinster -The The - TheI TheSpinster TheSpinster TheSpinsterThe I Spinster I SpinsterThe The same author also says , "Court Court "Court- "Courtship "Courtship "Courtship " - - ship is a game that a girl has to play playwithout playwithout playwithout without knowing the trump The Theonly Theonly Theonly only way she ever succeeds at it is by byplaYing byplaying byplaying plaYing to an imaginary trump of hel hei helown heiown heiown own , which may be either open , dis- dis disarnung disarming dis disarming - - arming arnung friendliness , or ind indifference ference " WeU Well , I don't dont ' know what is going to tohappen tohappen tohappen happen to me in the next world , nor noreven noreven noreven even if there is a next world , but 111 Ill 111march Illmarch 111march march to the end of my enlistment enlistmentand , and go down the road to the end of ofthe ofthe ofthe the trail , with colors flyingIf flying flyingIf If you want to be taken for a mil- mil millionaire millionaire mil millionaire - lionaire , , get a clean shave , slip sUp into mto anew a anew anew new suit of clothes , put on a clean cleanSWI cleanshut cleanshilt shut SWI t , a white collar and a new tie tiestrut , strut down Salt Lake's Lakes ' main mam street streetand , ( and every ten steps some fellow fcHow will willstep willstep willstep step up to you and ask you for the theprice theprice theprice price of a cup of coffe I just had that thathappen thathappen thathappen happen to me this ' \ ' week 'seek seek eek , . as I was wasstrutting wasstrutting wasstrutting strutting down Main street , togged out outm outin outin m in my best It just seemed to me that thatevery thatevery thatevery every tramp in town thought I had a agold agold agold gold mine and had struck Salt Lake Laketo Laketo Laketo to get nd rId of ot my wad"Little wad wad"Little "Little Little " drops of ot water , Uttio little grains grainsof grainsof grainsof of andthe sand , make the mighty ocean , and the pleasant land , " but I never knew knewot knewof knewof ot of it's its ' making makmg any money for the poor poorcuss poorcuss poorcuss cuss that needs it more than ever as he ashe wanders about over the country looking countrylooking for a job The next timo time I Ivote Ivote Ivote vote for president ' I'm Im ' going strong for fora fora fora a socialistYOU socialistYou socialist YOU KNOW ME . |