Show spoiling the f child f by RING LARDNER kl K to the editor 1 have received a letter from she who signs herself won led mother eliat bauts information in regards to how to bundle her 2 kids that seems to be kind of a wild pair and in behalf of fiher parents that mabe in alie pickle it looks like 1 should douht to print her letter to me and mi reply to same as follows bhe ritts in a kind of illiterate way altar bir I 1 bei informed by the that iou have 4 that Is probably the best behaved this side of the reform school well mr 1 iol only nn iii 1 of a boy 4 a ra old and the other a I 1 and ais old aud 1 cant do anything ft ath eithur 1 of them 1 or lust in alie first place the little girl sleep and a whole lot and also laps up mure milk than we can afford to buy for her I 1 to the buy he 1 igind ne tell ailin bod keeps run abuy croul lionie and when the i omea r tu play with him it always up in a fight and be aiwas gelb the of it as he chasn t acot no nerve if you pardon the slang 1 enclose a plain envelope with no writing on 11 for reply and hope you wont tall to reply ard then she sans her name anil addra ad dru chith au none of our buiners my reply follows mra angus bertet ohio dear old girl you can bit I 1 wont fall to reply to your overtures as I 1 always make it a pt to answer notes from fair lads of the fair 1 pie surae our note was in aidt but 1 will reply to it on the up and up and my motto Is safely ast 1st and then they can t no body likic a you been well informed about the size of my family and you coulden couldn t of come to a better man to get the information my 4 children I 1 had about the same kind of a struggle yon are having with your 2 but 1 presume ou have to give the boy the unique name of jun lor and probably the little girl Is called lia ell we will take up junior 1 of my sons about the same age had a habit of running away from home all hrs of the day and finely along come and I 1 told 1 he could go bare footed then I 1 went out on the st and it for a a mile in both directions with tacks turned bottom side up but the little dell crossed me by through the ald the neighbors back ads so 1 day I 1 got him out in the wood shed and pretended like I 1 was splitting lindlang wood and by accident the heel of my hatchet come down on 3 toes of his ast 1st ft foremost and the operation was successful allm and his parent both thought it was an accident so to say the way it Is now his nurse who Is 79 ars yrs old and built in proportion can roll after him and catch him before be gets out of the yd As for junior not minding anything you say I 1 have a kid that was the same way until 1 acot me a whipping post witch can be boughten at a reduction in any oral class post office and after about 3 elsons essons he begun to pay a tension one day after I 1 he him the works a couple of our friends droe by in their tractor and they seen him and stopped and said hello stupid are you all well 0 o thank you was bis reply I 1 am all welts As for junior being afraid to tight the thing Is to match him up with maloney and let him get some courage biow in respects to lia I 1 faient no gals but the same treatment ought to be good bogli brands one of my kida insisted on 5 bottles of milk a day and wouldn t take no less till 1 conceived the idear of putting sour milk in 3 of the bottles and he wouldn t touch none but the other 2 and we made a dally savings of CO per cent on milk alone and nhen this bird steep at I 1 would first rock him to sleep with a punch in the jaw or sprinkle a little chloroform on his pillow and the first tiling you know you coulden couldn t hardly wake him up 1 ulso had a kid that cried a whole tot and for no reason except that he had the or something or was getting teeth Is a waste of time in ohp first place because they loose them all when chev are about 0 or 7 and get a new string vell glnn he had cried till I 1 coulden couldn t stand tt no more I 1 went out and bought a double 11 ll and shot out his tear ducs children Is a great comfort when they are up right and not get too fresh and it ts all in the handling I 1 hope I 1 hae helped you out dirle and if sou ver hi this old town ft york city I 1 v ish you would ciu me up or give me a hug as they say only be sure not cal up the house as tie phone isn 1 in aery good bhide and pretty abbody Is liable to answer and not understand ander stand you but give me a ring at the office and what berer information I 1 cin glie you why I 1 ani at your beckon call longs island N by th 11 inc |