Show WANTED c SORGHUM IN GOTHAM FA fun g man from southern Missouri where here they grow row sor sorghum bum cane and distill distill dis dis- till its juice into molasses with a tan tang in its taste removed to New York a few y years ars a ago o. o Last month he married a aNew aNew New Jersey girl irl who has never been west welt of Paterson or south of Staten island gland The pair settled in in a top floor apart apart- ent in Washington ton Heights Mrs Missouri Mis Mis- is proud of her kitchen skill while Mr r. r Missouri isso tri thinks he be can do shopping for or the dining room table better than any iny woman on the Heights My dear he remarked at dinner a afew afew afew few days davs a ago o. o Im going in to g get t something something some some- thing tomorrow as I come home ome that willo will willbo bo o a great treat for b both th of us Guess what TiC Tickets to the Metropolitan f she guessed f Oh Oh no I was talking about food Now ow guess Why then then soft soft shell crabs Goody I just love em dont don't you you r Yes but I wasn't talking about soft hell shell crabs nor any other kind You'll I lavo ave avo to guess again Its It's something something hat grows on a farm not in the sea I Pork chops guessed Mrs Missouri i ith a laugh True pork chops grow row on a farm I ut iut the treat I am going to get for our able ble is not an animal nor any part thereof Still though its it's no lio hog it itan itcan can an run and strange to say it runs aster in hot weather than in cold the enigma t tI Oh try another guess my dear I Something that grows on a farm Isn't an animal but can run I Hm I jive give it up My dear said Mr Missouri lowering low low- ering loring his Ms voice and bending close as if fearing some invisible presence might overhear o and immediately corner all the tho risible isible supply of the treat to be bc I Im m going to going to to get some get some sorghum Mrs Missouri stared rather blankly at Ir rr Missouri She Sho did not appear par par- elated over the tho of the ho great secret At first she was about with to o say something beginning I what but she checked herself an and said Isaid instead I Indeed and where will you get them Them Its It's it it my dear corrected pIr r r. r Missouri Get it at any grocery store of course Where else l Very well weIl but dont don't buy too much Theres There's only two of us you know Oh it'll keep said the young hus hus- husband band Arent you glad I thou thought ht of oft t t tf Haven't Haven t had any for three years and nd Im I'm dying for a taste Thin Then you must have the tho larger share hare 1 S said ld generous Mrs Missouri who then adroitly turned the tho conversation conversa conversa- tion ion into another channel wherein it 9 owed lowed as smoothly as sorghum on a midsummer midsummer mid- mid summer ummer day dllY The Tho next day Mr Missouri dropped n at his grocers grocer's on the way home Ho lie liet mouth th watering wat- wat t hadn't forgotten His mo was ring ering rin for it half a gallon allon o 0 o sorghum he Jie said How much is it The grocers grocer's boy looked first puzzled thEn hen disgusted say he ho asked I Sorghum sorghum reiterated Missouri Missouri Mis Mis- slowly and distinctly I Wot s 's s that thaU Sorghum why its it's molasses of c Hurry furry up with it Wot W ot ot kind o 0 you rou want Sorghum said sorghum molasses We Wc aint that kind I got hind guess never cr heard of it Here Hero Mr Clark to he older clerk we wo got gt any any ay it p f Sorghum Sor hum I said Missouri re repeated Bated to the clerk addressed by tho boy bov bovi DOV i I huh don huh don't dont t t think I know huh huh know what you mean sir said the thc ban an What Dont Don't know what I mean w 1 when en I sav say plainly I want half a gallon o ol 01 sorghum Do I have havo to draw a diagram dia dia- gram ram Wen Well Ive I've been clerkin in jn grocery I storEs tores seventeen years next month and I If f swan I never heard heard o 0 that kind o 0 om m Ph lasses 1 Is t the he proprietor in t quietly inquired in in- Missouri Yep in the back room gettin some t lard Mr Mr Missouri 1 walked I into the back hack backroom room room and ordered half a gallon of song sorg hum The grocer who was wiping his I rs rs on a piece of cheese cloth looked looke him inquiringly i Half a gallon o 0 what lie he asked Sorghum shouted Missouri sol Soi S o r l' gh u h i u m sorghum I Catch that i I I catch it admitted the grocer but I dont don't hold it I never ne heard ofin oft of ofin t in 11 11 my life How long have you been in the grory gro gro- rv ry business Oh Oh JJ about ten years And never heard of good old son ser hum molasses Well good god da day Ill I'll do domy doI domy I my my trading hereafter with grocers who I know k ow their business So saving saying and severely miffed Misouri Missouri Mis- Mis ouri auri st stalked kerl out and walked directly across Amsterdam avenue to the hated j rival rhal of grocer No 1 Tho The grocer lark 1 ark the tho clerk and the tho grocers grocer's boy compared notes and concluded that their then late customer was drinking too much f Missouri entered the tho store of grocer No o 2 and called for half a gallon of sorghum Blank looks From grocer clerk and boy on a descending scale this time Missouri got of blank looks loos and bold boldt old t denials They were not guilty guilty guilty- e never ever er he heard rd of that stuff what stuff what was it anyway Missouri spelled the name slowly and tho store crew shook its triangular poll poU I Missouri was getting late for for dinner diner I There Thero was no other oter grocery in the thc block I and his apartment house house entrance was half balf way crown down the side street He Ho went home nome remarking to the elevator boy who Vho was nas from Mississippi Hey Hey bo boy did you ever hear of sorghum molasses 1 f Did Diel Ab Ah He He Ah Ah did Yum I Yum K Missouri gave ave the negro a quarter A follow fellow feeling made him wondrous kind Mrs Irs rs Missouri met him at the door with f a kiss kiss and a frown Ho He was twenty minutes late and she asked him why My y dear Im I'm awfully sorry he be KiV said isid but but I l c couldn't get et It it today Ill I'll get it tomorrow though h downtown I reckon rc town kon they know s something down down- Mrs Missouri Missouri glanced solicitously tit nt her husband Der She asked him timidly he was talking about Why lie bo replIed that delightful sorghum These confounded I promIsed tro grocers ers you out fere here yesterday dont don't keep it swear they never heard of nf U it What do you think thin of of that Wouldn't Wouldn't t coagulate your blood Well WeH dear try again said Raid Mrs 1 soothingly v but looking sorely puzzled nuzzled I have a nice thick porter house so 50 we can get along toni tonight ht t without with with- put out ut without that it I thought maybe you ou wouldn't remember to get it this ovenin What so I laid in the thc steak teak s that got t to do with it 1 asked Mr Missouri 1 Never with mint minI though h tomorrow well we'll have a whole gallon allow of of it j Mr Mrs s Missouri feared Mr Dir had hd had bad about a pint already but t she d discreetly kept her fear to her her- self Besides she sho had not smelled it The Th next evening Mr Missouri l reap reached home homo furious ail Yo git t dat so yit yU misi mis mis- i tah taM the elevator ele boy bo had asked aked You all go to the devil Missouri Misouri had harl roared Mrs Missouri lanced glanced curiously to s see sec e what sort of package package her husband car ear carried ried red but he carried no visible package So you didn't get that that uh that uh uh didn't t get et it 7 she inquired What What that beloved sor sorghum hunt Nl Nol 1 he said almost ly and what's more more I dont doat expect to to get get it unless I Igo Igo Igo go back to Stoddard Stoddart count county Mo 1 and plant it plow it hoe it cut it and grind it out and boil it down myself This village of people and some more never heard of sorghum Ive I've tried three grocers downtown today an and andt t they're eyre like the jags up here never here never heard of sor sorghum hum Then Mrs Missouri confessed I never heard of it myself dear until you told me you were WE're going to get it What is it anyway Oh Ob Lordy cried Mr Missouri Next summer Im I'm going to take you back to old Missouri for tor a vacation and you can see it run I hope the weather will bo he hot said his wife since it runs faster in hot weather Maybe we can get two of cm em to run a race together r 4 Gee sighed Missouri but Im I'm Im I'm a along along long way from home New N New ew York Sun |