Show I By 0 B B. B JOYFUL a c ac OZ tt ao w 4 A now new candidate is in tn the field The new third party being the tho fifteenth third party formed this I year is elated This means excitement a wild scramble cramble for tor office more coaxing of oC delegates and more treats of ot otIce Ice cream sodas pop and anil ginger ginger- ale alc General Apathy has been I brought out by his friends General General Gen Gen- n- n eral Apathy Is the war candidate Tho The new third party felt Celt the need of a a. candidate Hence General Apathy General Apathy is not a a. favorite son Hes He's a national national na na- na- na figure Already one delegate from has been instruct- instruct ed for tor General Apathy and it Is predicted that the delegates at large from the state of at Somnolence Somnolence Somnolence lence will vote oto for or him General Apathy's campaign mana manager er made mado a cunning move when he had the general come out flatfooted for tor the abolishment of or alarm clocks This will garner a 0 large crop of ot votes otes from tram late sleepers Editors Editor's Note We Wo regret not being able to lo secure a 0 picture atthe of at the general but you can get Jet a fair Call sl sized cd Idea of at him b by watching a bo boy mowing a lawn on a ahot ahot ahot hot da day Hon Everett erelt True Is still the leadin candidate although he Isn't still And the mud sling sling- slinging slinging ing InS report that ho has hns a still sun isn't 1 s n t true t r rue u e. e either cither Mr True said ld In a n. statement state state- ment Issued day before yesterday yester yester- day day ti l E v slip slipped p pod e d I something over on the tho other othere e candidates by gaining the undivided support of ot the tho Amalgamated Dramatic Critics CritIcs Critics Crit Crit- ics the Anvil Swing Swingers Swingers' rs' rs union and the Hammer Makers' Makers asso asso- Mrs Tom Duff Duft announces s that she will oppose the boss contrived plan of running Hon lion Tom DuCt for Cor the vice presidency Mrs Irs Duff says she will go after alter the suffrage suffrage suf sut frage vote to put Tom across and the tho whole family into the tho White While WhiteHouse House Mr Duff Duft could make malce no no comment Mrs Duff Duft being present and in a talking frame Crame of ot mind This Injects the tho question Will the Duffs Dutts lead a 0 bolt from tho the convention If Ie Tom Isn't named Another Editors Editor's Note ole Our correspondent Mr 0 O. B B. Joyful will keep you OU fully tullY Informed as to the latest developments in this highly Interesting convention Dont Don't worry go so on about your business and leave it to Mr Joy Joy- ful tul MEET MM A man I hate hato is Julius Blue lIe He docs does the things thinS's I want to do He knows the tho folks talks I want to know Inow lIe Ho goes sacs where I can never go hOt And thou though h hes he's far tar from tram handsome handsome handsome hand hand- some yet Ho gets the girls I want to get Im I'm audience and he Is show And nd that Is why I hate him so |