Show 00 09 01 a 0 Copyrighted ly Loneliness and nd Depression Work Their Will With Me Bluebeards Bluebeard's wives must havo have been very primitive women If It they had been even half civilized I presume th they y never would havo have lost their lovely lo heads I 1 often thought of 1 their sad fate fato as I carried Dr keys 5 around with me Often did id I look with a a. smile at the longest key but nover never once did I have havethe havethe havethe the least temptation to find the lock Which It fitted Probably I am only a fair sample of the modern civilized girl Irl who finds it quite Impossible to open other othor peoples people's letters packages es and anti closets I Was as aware that desk con com concealed coaled the details of oC a scandal about Daddy Lorimer I 1 guessed it must be that affair with tho the Queen of Smiles but It ft was not for Cor mo me to In Investigate in- in Certainly Mrs Irs Bluebeard rd would have S saved her life If It she had lived today because well It simply Isn't done dona But Dut I was lonely enough In tho the great house Just as Mme Bluebeard had been beon In her castle Ion long ugo ago I r think my depression began with discovery of the Bolshevist stuff In Inthe Inthe inthe the files lies and the recollection of what Eloise had Called tilled I even cven got the UlI notion inlet might have gone ono west to spread Bolshevist propaganda ganda g-andu not directly of oC course and I had to assure myself that he could not be he a spy without having been heen spott spotted by hy the government long lonh ago moreover mor over Daddy Lorimer L was wa much too clever to bo be deceived by fraud of or an any kind This was a a. great reat comfort I didn't want to add Hamilton to all my other disappointments disappoint disappoint- ments In life lire I suppose I must have been een getting setting morbid Women fall Into that mood very easily I 1 had always tried to avoid It but ut as tho the days das dragged away in n the tho lonely house where I hadn't a thing to do except file away political papers papers that made mo me more mora and find more doleful I camo came at last to tomy tomy tomy my zero hour I 1 began beSan to feel teel that I had been abandoned by hy all the people who ought ht to love lovo me mp wh when n to tell ten the truth I J had run away from most of the things which mal make e tho the average woman happy Twisting f facts and feeling sorry for themselves In consequence Is a perversity perversity per per- of women I suppose I 1 couldn't escape my m share of or It But Dut Indeed I was wag really honest In feeling that nobody cared for me mo deeply except deeply except and by all the laws of tho the land by hy th the laws of my myown myown myown own nature I was was was' forbidden to find rest on heart I 1 was shut shutout shutout shutout out of D B Bobs Bob's hs h's heart too My plan to woo him back again was losing Its attractiveness It seemed such hard work and work and victory vIctor so uncertain I Many times I reviewed m my stran strange o position in house and my nw odd relation to Bob Dob I couldn't t shape hape m my happiness for myself I recognized recognized recognized m my utter uselessness Nobody needed me That was worse than having no one to love lovo me I wept over myself and my woes My heart hurt dreadfully I endured the same samo sort of hurt I 1 which make so many lonely Girls want to end It all I 1 had always been Impatient with them had thought them stupid and selfish Now I know the they are both for tor that Is what I 1 was myself at the end nd of or a lonely rainy Sunday a few days before was expected home Certainly it wa was worse than stupid It was a sinful Idea which came into my head head but but it had the thrill which Is so often to bo ho found In sin My Iy temptation took this form You are arc lead dead a In th the theory Jane no Lorimer Why hy not he be dead In fact 1 To be continued |