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Show j .HORT STORIES Or STREET AHD TOWN - - - -j An East Fourth South street car was crowded almost to the limit of Its capacity. ca-pacity. A man who weighed nearly 300 pounds and occupied four feet of space to the 'vident discomfort of his fellow passeileers on the rear platform vented his spite on the street railway company by saying: "I don't suppose the railroad company com-pany will be satisfied until It' has extension ex-tension platforms on the cars that can be made to hold as many passengers as It wants to carry." "Oh. I don't know," piped e little man, who was nearly hidden In the -crowd, "it will be too expensive for the com-, com-, pany. The company would be better satisfied If It had collapsable passengers." passen-gers." . Every one on the platform laughed but the fat man.- pilot, a tone of triumph In his voice. "Did you know how I happened to know how I knew that? Guess work? No, sir! I knew It I've been here a long time and I can 'spot- 'em' every time. You see. when a woman rings the bell for the car she kind of plays with the button as though she were afraid of It It doesn't sound strong and clear. She doesn't ring It all at once, but goes at it easily and gently, a little at a time." "How does a man ring the bell?" "He pushes the button as though he had a grudge against It If he doesn't see the cable moving at once he tries to push the button clear Into the shaft" "Do you ever make a mistake?" "Oh. sometimes. When a man Is effeminate, ef-feminate, he rings it like a woman. If a woman is masculine she rings It with as much vim as though she were spanking spank-ing a baby. Oh, there are lots of things a fellow can learn when running run-ning an elevator. If he keeps his eyes open." asssse: 1 . ; There Is one young Republican cam-tpalgn cam-tpalgn orator and political enthusiast who can- usually clinch an argument 'with some fact that cannot be gainsaid. He was debating with a Democrat on : the tariff question in front of the Atlas ; block and the argument became warm. Neither he nor his Democratic friend would yield a point, and the debate be-; be-; came more than warm. A crowd collected. The Democrat finished an arraign-i arraign-i ment of the protective tariff system, 'and the Republican took the floor. He said but a few words, but the look of disgust that settled on the face of ;the Democrat may be imagined, when ! he heard the Republican say: I "Mary had a little lamb. She took its wool to trim it: Cleveland cut the tariff down. Now Mary has to skin it." The Democrat floated away amid the j laughter of the listening crowd. It was an open car. Every seat but one contained its full 'Quota of five passengers. "rvis seat held but four. V. l$ one of the four weighed at least Str j Minds. At Alain and Third South streets a number of passengers got onto the run-. run-. nlng board. . These were men. - A woman was more particular. Jler weight was about 860 pounds. ' She searched the car from end to end and finally she saw the seat containing but four passengers. She clambered aboard and crowded into the seat. No effort was made by the four to widen the breach. Then she spoke so all could hear: "Don't youse people know that these seats is built fer five?" The crowd tittered. A serious looking old man who was one of the Quartette, and who was nearly near-ly her weight and size, retorted: 'Certainly, madam, but it makes some difference how big the five are." The portly woman rode a block on the running board and then got ft.. . It was in the elevator of the Progress building. The car was at the ground floor when a passenger bound for the top entered. "Tinkle, tinkle, tink," spoke, or rather, rath-er, stuttered the bell. The indicator pointed to the third floor. "R-r-r-r-lng! , Buz-s-x! R-r-r-ing!" chimed the bell in steady, vigorous voice, as the indicator pointed to the fourth floor. "That's a woman on three and a man on four," said the elevator pilot, an in- telligent lad of about 18 years. The car shot up toward the top. At the third floor stood a woman. At the fourth a man stood punching again at the button. "What did ' I tell your asked the |