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Show JIMMY, THE NEWSBOY, ON THE WAYS OF WOMEN '.' ' ' - . . - .k . : ' . , ,- .-. '"Say."; said Jimmy,' the newaboy as he espied The Telegram man today, "did you ever stop to think of de chances I has of studyln human nature? na-ture? I guess I can come pretty near telUn' -from, what part of da ompass & guy, comes .from' by Just thrtjwln me lamps ob him. I'm- a regyiar Sherlock when It comes down to de 'deduction' game.'' Sura thing. . Try me out and see? " . V "Who's dat guy over dere on de corner? cor-ner? Is he from Missouri?. Not on you're life. He's no 'Miseourlan. He's a 'Bnttlnlaa.' Say, dat'a a Joke Z made up meself; ' . ' ' "But on de square did you ever coma to think how women buys poipers? Tow never did? -Say.. you've missed .half da meal ticket'-- i f ,4 , "Gee, I'll tell you a f unay ting.- I waa down. jto. .tha Knutsford today.-. In da 'lebby iwas a man about fifty, "rathar ' short, but heavy built.- He ware glasses and smiled at you. He bought a .Tele of me and gives me a quarter. . The clerk tella me he's de man wot writes i de Noo Tork Susxpolper. He's all right, he is. The. clerk iells me his name, too. Just den a lady comes trp and says to me, 'Who's dat?' meaning-de 8un man. 1 says, Tie's Laffan., 'What about? says she. 'Who? savs I. 'Dat man,', says she. 'What's he laffln about?' Say, boss, on de level. I had to. go outside for air. Ain't dat the limit? -.Honest now? "Say, den another woman comes alon' and wants to know if dere Is anythln' in de polper about Mrs. Sylvester Jones Corcoran Wittmer.KeUogs; entertainln' the Sunshine club at her home a week ago Tuesday afternoon In Pocatello, dat if dere is, she'll tell her huaban' and may be she'll buy two when, he gets back about I o'clock. . 'Den alon' comes a woman who takes a polper and wants me to change a S20. I tells her to keep the polper, dat I had a heavy week on de mlnln' exchange and don't need no small money, dat I'm only sellln' poipers for de exercise. 'How nice,' she says; 'den Til take an-other.' an-other.' . , .... i. i "Den another lady forgot her money, i but offers to give a note to me to take down to her . huaban' at the mine In Bingham and' he'll pay aU right, and maybe give me an extra penny for myself. my-self. "But say, boss, dey all smiles at you, and on de level ain't dat worth more dan de money, at dat? Say, dey ain't anythln' sweeter or better fo me in dls I world dan a go(I unlets its two gone. I Say, da more de merrier for me. You bet I'm from Utah. "But de women are all right at dat. I sells poipers to a whole tot of dent. Dey always remembers you. too. I should say dey did. 'Ain't you de boy,' says one of dem to me today,, 'dat sold ma a polper about a week agoF 'Sura ting.' lady,' says I. 'Well.' she says, 'I had read the one t. bought of you. I didn't tink I had at de time. If you come up to my house tomorrow I'U give it back .to you for on of tomorrow's papers.1 It will be all the same to you, for you don't read. you. know, and- you might Just aa well have an old polper left over aa one of today s.' Say, ain't dat enuf logic to make an embassador out of her, eh? "Say, I heard a funny story at de Wilson hotel last night. Dere was a lot Of soldiers dere from de Fort. One of of dem was telUn' a story. It went like dls. It was about a Jap and a Russian. It seems de Jap captured a Rtosslan and jrae tying him to a tree. " 'Say,' said de Russian. you ain't got no right to treat me like. dls. I am a Colonel. I am.' " 'No, you ain't. aald the Jap. 1at ain't quite right Tou waa a Colonel all right, all' right but dat waa Just before be-fore I got you. 81nce den your commission commis-sion haa run out "Tou say I must be mistaken? Why? Tou say a Colonel is entitled to distinction distinc-tion and acoordin' to rules of modern warfare dey have got to take his rank into consideration aad so dey couldn't possibly have tied a -Colonel up to a tree? Wot have I got to s&y to dat? "Weil, you know dat's all right too, but den some Russian Colonels is ranker' dan others, see. Well, s'long." |