Show hi tt f s u Syr fr ur M. M Marriage age arr 4 Puts Puffs Aside Spouse fter Becoming Successful a 1 t By Samuel G. G and 1 Esther B. B ion pan t Mr lr and Mrs Klin Kling 1 lt at does a wife do when she r q herself put aside for her hernds herred's do dir diri reds nd's ds d's job i eu en my husband and I were ed we started out on 18 k He received small in in- fEt creases s until seven years ago he made 32 weekly On these salaries salaries sal sal- aries I budgeted and economized to save sa enough money to pay my husbands husband's school tuition He lie studied electrical engineering engineer engineer- ing three nights a week cek for eight years three of these prior to our marriage We e were very happy then and because I had had some college training myself was able to help him with his studies Thrilled and Proud Five years ago when he received received received re re- re- re his first position as an electrical engineer we began to see sec the realization of our goal You can imagine how thrilled and proud I was to finally see allour all allour allour our sacrifices bearing fruit Today my husband is a success success suc suc- cess He works with the army engineers earns a handsome salary salary salary sal sal- ary and has the prestige of supervision in his department But and anti heres here's the tragedy hes he's become wedded to his job Hes away from home six days and three nights a week and hes he's hesso so preoccupied with his responsibilities responsibilities responsibilities that hes he's forgotten how to Lo be a husband When hes he's home hes he's exhausted never has any worthwhile conversation and has become a stranger to the children He goes out of town at least twice a month for any period period pe pe- pe- pe nod of time between two to six days Like an Old Shoe ShoeI I HI feel cast aside like an old shoe that has hns outlived its useful useful- I ness My ly children are arc small and andI I I cant can't go out to work to keep my mind occupied I am modern date up-to-date on current events a good hostess and conversationalist conversational conversational- but Im I'm hungry for my husbands husband's husbands husband's hus hus- bands band's love and companionship I I have wracked my brain for fora forn a n solution and cannot find any Does all this mean we will never find each other again agam Must lust he give himself in servitude to a ajob ajob ajob job managed by a bureau that recognizes its as filed names and not as human beings I cant can't go on living in this desolate desolate desolate deso deso- late loneliness Wont Won't you please help me Answer There are several everal things you might do Since on your own statement your husband husband hus hus- band is home four nights a week why dont don't you plan some interesting interesting inter inter- esting diverting entertainment for him If he likes the theater why liy not I arrange to go to a show on one of the nights hes he's available Have the tickets ready and all the arrangements ar are arrangements made in advance Cater to His Tastes If he likes music plan to attend attend attend at at- atI I tend a concert Whatever his interests interests in interests in- in or tastes cater to them and take the initiative in planning planning planning plan plan- ning entertainment instead of merely allowing matters to drift A second suggestion is that you have your maid or a relative stay with your children occasionally while you accompany your husband husband hus hus- band on his travels Again there is no reason why you cant can't participate participate participate par par- more actively in your church or civic affairs on those nights when your our husbands husband's busy You can cnn arrange to have someone reliable sit with your youngsters if you make an effort Talk to Him Most 1 important of all we suggest suggest suggest sug sug- gest you OU have a heart to talk lalk with your mate Tell him that while you appreciate his energy and success your marriage marriage marriage mar mar- is deteriorating ng and that you dont don't want that to happen You can cnn tell him that he should be able to create a better balance between his work and his family and that all his success will be meaningless if you continue to drift apart Finally it il seems to us that you are indulging in too much self- self pity Now that youre you're no longer I necessary to your husbands husband's Career career career ca ca- reer you feel out of things and resentful But if you busy yourI yourself yourself your your- self with other activities instead I of brooding about the past you I will find substitute sati t and you'll be happier i |