Show I Useless Superiority I IBy By DR FRANK CRANE When I was a a. boy I knew a man who wasn't rich o or handsome or smart but who was l Immensely i proud o of himself by virtue of or a single accomplish accomplish- ment He was the long distance spitting champion o of the countryside For distance accuracy and aplomb he was was a world beater But beyond this single unprofitable excellence he was pretty much of a total loss los He lie was one one of ot that numerous assemblage e qualifying quail quail- hIn for the Royal Order of ot tho the Useless Superior Th They y are the ones who excel in the unimportant ort ort- ant who preen prec-n themselves upon overtopping others in things that do not matter matter The whittlers who us used d to hook themselves over oyer the fences near village stores who were dexterous rous with jackknives but generally incompetent with all el else were honored members of ot the order The whittlers and the of ot the past pat have passed but th the uselessly superior are as In Insistent Insistent insistent In- In as ever Newspapers 1 which feature the unusual are arc continually continually continually con con- adding to the examples of ot those who pride them themselves elves b because use they excel others In things that do not matter One man lays claim to fame tame because e he has drunk en fifteen cups p pj coffee a day lay for tor fifteen en years ears ars another because bec he has carried the same umbrella for half halt a century another because he has worn the same mme collar coHar button most of ot his life Ufe without losing lOring it another because he has one side of his blacksmith blacksmith blacksmith black black- smith shop piled to the roof with tin tobacco cans which he has used Men Ien each tach year write in to the s secretary of ot commerce and bitterly fight for the titles of ot the largest larget consumer of ot tobacco or the greatest consumer consumer con con- sumer of ot coffee coffie as if lf it were we-re Important and meri meri- Useless superiority gives gl the man a sense of achieving a a. distinction when ho he has dono done nothing worthy of distinction It is Is a sort of mild inoculation which leaves him Immune to struggling for the real thin thing Copyright ht 1926 by McClure Newspaper 1 Syndicate I |