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Show Senile Awhilfi The End of Her "Are you inviting Mrs. Standoff to your party, Mrs. Malaprop?" queried a friend. "Not me," answered that lady. "I hentertained her once and she never recuperated." Shady Job "H hen was Home buill, Jimmy ?" aski'd tvurhvT. "In the night." "II hut lime you that idea?" "H i ll, sou told us Home wasn't built in a day." Good Idea Tad How are you this morning, morn-ing, Jasper? Jasper (grumpily) All right. Tad Better notify your face. Sympathy is what one woman gives another in exchange for details. de-tails. Off Pitch Bill I'm continually breaking into song. Nelly You wouldn't have to break in if you get the key. Just His Dish "The study of the occult sciences interests in-terests me very much," remarked the new honrdci. "J ie to explore the lurk depths of the mysterious, to delve into the region, of the unknown, to luthnm what is heliet ed by others to he unfathomable, and to" "May I help you to some of this hash, professor?" interrupted the landlady. And she is still wondcrtnn why the other boarders smiled audibly. Catty The clerk in a butcher's shop was chatting to a customer when a woman rushed in and interrupted inter-rupted the conversation. "Give me 10 cents of cat's meat quick," she shouted. Then turning to the other customer, cus-tomer, she said lamely, "I hope you don't mind my being served before you?" "Not if you're as hungry as all that, madam," was the freezing reply. re-ply. Vou Guess Lawyer Now, sir, did you or did you not, on the date in question, or at any other time, say to the defendant, de-fendant, or to anyone else, that the statements imputed to you and denied by the plaintiff were a matter of no consequence or otherwise? Answer me yes or nol Befuddled witness Yes or no, what? |