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Show Hi j Cast of Character,: Midnight Susie, the hag who haunts the Main Stem. . . . ne claims she was one of Broadway glamour gals decades ago . The hefty lady-bouncer in a 3rd Avenue gin-mill, who tames the toughest bores by merely talking to them. Tin-Pan Alley's song-scribbling' cynics, who grind out America's Amer-ica's most tender romantic ballads. The 52nd Street barkeep who entertains barflies with sleight-of-hand card tricks The two bar- tenders at the Stork Club, whose tips were so plentiful they've just bought their own joynt. ... The gambler who carries past-performance records of the racehorses in a brief case. ... The pretty red-haired red-haired shoe-shine gal near Grand Central Station. The Union Square soap-boxer who peddles carrot juice as a health-giver. health-giver. . . . The uppity Park Avenue bookie who accepts bets only from the snobbish set. ... The poet who squats near the East River in the 50s all day - composing verses which he gives to children. . . Crowds of do-nothings huddled near corner cigar stores tensely watching watch-ing a nickel-matching contest. . . . The exclusive tailor in the New York Stock Exchange. . . . The Mulberry Street puppeteers one of the city's most arresting free shows. Workers in subway change booths who rarely take their orbs off books they read, while mechanically mechan-ically dishing out jitneys. The miserable matinee Idol who totes a torch for a famed actress, usually mobbed by clawtographers. . . . The peanut stand man whose stand is covered with photos of celebs autographed! . . . The prune-faced lady (in the Fifties) handing out slips of paper with Scripturcl passages on them. . . . Sidewalk hawkers who sell books, mags, ties and kitchen utensils. One-man department stores. . . . Sleuths in railroad terminals keep-Ing keep-Ing their eyes peeled for muggs with police records arriving from the hinterland. . . . Ladies who put a coat over their nighties and take their pups for an airing every dawning dawn-ing along Madison Ave. Quiteso, Quiteso: Ted Breton reminds re-minds us that Maurice Barrymore loaned his presence to vaudeville for one consecutive 3-day run. It was at the Olympic in Chicago. . . . One matinee Maurice dashed off the stage and into the manager's office. . . . "See here!" Maurice see-here'd. "I cannot continue. They just don't get me. I cannot please your audience!" Manager George Castle calmly ; comforted: "Don't try. Just draw i 'em in. The nobodies on the program pro-gram always give the show." Worse'n the Electric Chair: Jack ! Haley was listening to a newcomer in Movietown, who was discussing j international events. . . . "The worst I moment I ever had," he said, "was when I saw Gromyko walk out on j the U. N." . . . "Then," said Haley, "you haven't really lived. Wait'U , you see Louella Parsons walking out in the middle of the preview oi I your first picture!" Bob Benchley was also irked by i literary pirates who aped his yarns. He brushed them off this way: I "Anyone who is stupid enough to ! steal ideas isn't smart enough to steal the good ones!" Americans who have recently returned re-turned from Spain inform us that ' the Spanish undergrounders have launched a campaign of ridicule 1 similar to the one that flourished in Germany when Hitler was in power. pow-er. Frixample: Night after night the walls in an industrial section of Madrid are daubed with anti-fascist inscriptions. In vain the Spanish soldiers hunted for the authors of this outrage. One day, a tired and enraged soldier wrote under one of the slogans on the wall: "Why j don't you do it in broad daylight, you cowards?" The next day there was an answer: an-swer: "Sorry, but in the daytime we are too busy parading with you fellows!" fel-lows!" Heywoad Broun was an optimist who believed that men of good will would some day build a world of peace and prosperity. But there were times when tragic news left him glum. A friend who was with Broun when he was depressed heard him mutter: "This world startoH f chaos and it will end in chaos. What happens in between does not seem to matter very much." When an Interviewer asked H L Mencken what he thought of love at first sight. Menck snapped: "It's a labor-saving device!" A foreign newsboy tells us that the -black market has dominated Europe's economy so long. Euro peans now have "a standard foke about it "Countries should concentrate," concen-trate," they say. 'on building ,ails and lunatic asylums The former I are for the people who buy in the I black market-the latter are for j those who don't " j |