Show Obsession m A YOUNG Copyright 1907 by Thomas H L McKee MURK of smoky amber was the sky over St. St where looking westward westward westward west west- Georges George's orges orge's Hospital A ward from irom the balcony of the Motor Club you could see sec the busy tides of or traffic ebbing ebbing ebbing eb eb- bing into tho gloom Night had fallen in the hollow although the sky was stained with the last of or the daylight I I turned away from tram the balcony Into the long amok amok- of room Ing-room and looked round the scattered groups It momentary companionship men there in search of or was Vas not a promising prospect A fat man was sitting after heavily armchair snorting smoking a pipe In an each respiration three rather dissipated young men talking In together were close heads with v their very motor compan company com corn eager undertones of the formation of or a had bought a second hand car pan pany One of or them b various penciled and the tho others were showing him by calculations on the margin of an illustrated paper office in Jn the Haymarket and renting a small that by calling themselves The Automobile Salon Limited 1 ti t thousand a and spend i they would each make ten year i week ends driving powerful ears cars 1 a lifetime of or happy I thought If It you can be e a why be a fisherman I turned and saw moment and at the tho same Bame abI abI ab- ab who ho had just come In and ordered an In an armchair and stretched down I sinthe He sat I out a shaking hand for a 8 pile of or automobile papers I and magazines was then a man of about I 1 Worn with a curious steel forty five worn and old looking quiver in his In-his his eyes and a certain tremulousness about In inI ini his well cut mouth He was shaved clean and I i normal health would have bave been a looking good-looking man i but there thero was something about his appearance now that was the reverse of oC attractive His shoulders had bad a curious forward stoop and his head and neck were Inclined forward on his shoulders the faco face was fallen in and prematurely wrinkled and the effect of or orthe the fine intelligent brow was discounted by a pathetic weakness of or the chinI chin I see they have bave reduced the flying ng kilometer by byI I I another two seconds he said as I took a seat beside him I should like to have bave seen that and 2nd nd someI something some some- I thing like enthusiasm glittered gUttered In his pale steely Ii eyes ces Not much to see I objected and he be involuntarily straightened up in his chair Personally I dont don't understand understand understand un un- un- un where the fascination of or reducing record-reducing comes in Ah HAh said sipping his absinthe it is the only thing I care about going about going fast I used to like motoring for the sake of or the things I saw on the roads then I used to like it for the places I could go goto goto goto to and the journeys I could make now I simply like it for itself Speed Speed pace pace there's theres nothing like it JUA JU A flush came Into his sallow cheeks and his eyes grew crew bright And I tell you solemnly he added in ina ina ina a low voice with a kind of dogged emotion that was wag curiously impressive that this thing which you sometimes call cail the speed mania and which is regarded as the childish fad of or the mischievous rich Is but another embodiment of or those terrible forces that are in the world beyond the veil They dwell out there In tho darkness but they send out their antennae to us here In the tho light I know said fald There was a fra fragment ent of or sugar left in the bottom of or glass a little white island in a little milky acid sea He took up the glass and watched the Un tiny Island crumbling and corroding away one particle after atter another sinking into tho the liquid until It had a all been absorbed You think he said slowly a motor car the most I that has bas commonplace and matter fact thing man over ever designed I tell you that equally with the dentists dentist's dentists dentist's dentists dentist's den den- chair the table operating-table the hangman's noose it may be the instrument and scene of prodigies be beyond beyond beyond be- be yond our belief r. r Its It's nothing in the motor car itself but the forces I speak of or are enthroned in strange strange places and distributed by strange conductors Anxious to bring him back to saner things I asked him what nhat kind of car he drove Immediately a change came over his f face ce The enthusiasm faded from It H I and and was as replaced by a furtive and almost cunning expression I have two or three cars be he said the one I drive most is a horse fifty car of no particular make take at all Its It's an experimental car My Iy other two bo are area a Fiat and a Daimler I see that Marlow has been experimenting with oxygen he be said as though he were anxious to change tho the subject end and our talk drifted on into more normal channels and continued until at time dinner-time we went nent our separate ways r Our conversation In to the Club smoking room had been on the occasion of a flying visit to London I had been busily occupied with things far different nt from motor c cars rs and I did not lot recognize the writing on the large envelope lope that brought me letter It came to me at the tho table breakfast-table but the glanco glance I gave to it showed me that it was too long and important to be read then and presently present I took it out into the mild mUd fragrant air of the October morning morning morn- morn ing anI and began to read it walking up and down the terrace in the autumn sunshine The letter was dated from place in Surrey I bad had not turned turned the tho first of or its closely written pages before I was ar arrested arrested arrested ar- ar rested in my walk and stood rooted in amazement III III II I h have hesitated many times Um's whether or not I should write to you he ho began I have even once or twice taken up my pen and begun a letter and have put It down again with a sense of or tho the hopelessness of or my intention Now Kow however something h has S happened happened hap hap- that makes lakes tho the help and advice of at a friend nece necessary sary and I turn to you ou in confidence that even eveni i if you dont don't and cannot understand me you will at least believe me and give me your our advice I want to tell you Jou that I am a maniac maniac maniac-a a speed maniac Do you understand In order that you may not think that I am talking lightly or foolishly which you are apt lpt to think when we are arc simply conversing face to face I am writing down in words something of the experience that has led up to this crisis in my life end t the straus stang tn mania that holds balds me a helpless vic vie U tim in fn 0 t t the first place I am conscious of being dominated dominated dominated dom dom- by the neighborhood and personality of my car I find myself often otten thinking about it it or I- I f rather not so much thinking about It as picturing It Itin Itin itIn in various places In this sense I find myself suddenly picturing m my car standing in Its garage I see tho the curves of Its Us body the sweeping lines of Its wings the angles and circles of or its wheels and I am conscious conscious conscious con con- of or deriving a kind of or dull dun pleasure from this imagining It Is 15 followed as a rule by a desire to look upon the tho car and to be sitting in it and driving It an Impatience of other occupations a succession of or Imagined pictures of or myself driving tho the car along various stretches of road This oppression of mind may last for a little HUlo time or a long time but It results results results re re- re- re In m my going out for a drive in the car Often Otten I am held back by th the thought that there is nowhere I want to go to and this difficulty Is generally re resolved resolved resolved re- re solved by my always alwa's going on the same road the road the road which is best for the car and on which one can drive fastest I think that the highest moment of enjoyment I have bave in connection with my motor molar motorcar car Is either that in which I finally Anally make up my mind that I will go out for a drive or that in which I am sitting Bitting In the car and just making ready to set out Actual driving I realize is not in itself a pleasure pleas pleas- ure to meMy me My of or the motor car continues after aCler I have come como homo home from a n drive I am then sapped and exhausted I can not cat eat I continue driving in imagination I am unable to bring my mr mind to any other subject although I am always alwa's willing to talk about my journey or about my carIt car It is now noVo some time however since I first made madea a curious discovery namely that j just st as 35 my car went better belter and worse on various days so on n various days I 1 felt more moro 0 or less well on returning from my drive I h have Te since then certainly ascertained that the car is sensitive to me and I to it that wo we act and re react react react re- re act on one another in a manner manDer which is not psychic or neurotic but physical that the car carr through some Game obscure channel of sympathy makes use a of my strength and vitality that every sane Instinct I possess possess possess pos pos- sess struggles against and resists this drain and that on the days on which my system is well tuned and able to resist the car dr draws ws from frol me mo a smaller r supply supply supply sup sup- ply of or vitality and su suffers correspondingly In its own being and that Inversely when I am and unable to resist the tho car ca- revives and thrives on its increased draught of life As my health has declined the tle power and speed of the car have increased and within the last week it covered a flying mile on the level road near my house at a speed of or i 79 9 9 miles per hour It is to the carburetor that I believe I have traced this very ery mysterious and to me dreadful Increase in vitality I should tell you that the carburetor on my car car unlike any other I have seen is constructed al almost almost almost al- al most entirely of or very light and thin steel It is of very simple although although original construction and the variation of the air admission in accordance with the speed at nt which the car Is running is produced by pressure upon a series of steel discs or diaphragms of or orthe the thinness of or paper That Is all that thai can be said of ot it mechanically yet et I believe that this small steel box is sensitive to and within a limited degree governed governed governed gov gov- b by forces other than mechanical other than physical physical- ph In a a. word word that in its structure of steel wc parts puts and gossamer discs acted on by the volatile essence essence essence es es- es- es sence of the petrol is contained that balance of or principles principles prin prin- tho the ordination co-ordination of which we call life This Is a statement wild and impossible enough I cannot prove it yet nor give you rou here all the rea rca reasons sons Bans that have led me how however ver unwillingly to so EO dire a belief belleC I will only tell telI you of one experience which you ou may account for if you ou can It was during a week in which the car had not been used In which I was trying to break myself of Its habit Tho The magneto had been dismounted and sent away so that it was mechanically impossible for forthe forthe forthe the engine to have bave been running for five days das In Inthe Inthe Inthe the depths of at melancholy one ono evening when I was still brooding on my strange experience I took an electric lamp and went across to the motor house While I was examining some unions on the inside of or the engine I heard a clinking sound very faint and minute but unmistakably coming from tho the en en- gine It seemed to come from under the tho float loat of the carburetor tho the sound was er very faint and intermittent intermittent intermittent intermit intermit- tent as though a tiny grasshopper were imprisoned there As I was nas passing my hand over It I was conscIous conscious conscious con con- of or a different feeling from Crom that caused by the tho dead cold of or the metal of the engine I put my hand handon on the carburetor and found that it was warm No 1 Noone Noone one but myself had been in the motor molar house for three days there was no artificial heat of any kin kind In its neighborhood the petrol supply was turned off yet et ethere here was an unmistakable difference of or temperature and a positive warmth as though of or life or move move- ment I took look a a. small thermometer from the tho bench and laid it on the engine It registered three fitly degrees I paused in my movements and listened intently I could hear this tiny and otherwise inaudible ticking or fluttering sound I took a wrench and removed tho the cover of or the carburetor ca listening again and testing with the thermometer as before The Thc ticking sound ceased and the tho mercury fell gradually to the temperature tem- tem of or the surrounding metal I screwed on tho the cover again and when I had done so I accidentally switched off orr the light from my lamp and in the dense darkness while white I was as fumbling tumbling over the tho pipe I was aware of a hovering patch the carburetor that was no more radiance than It was darkness f but buta a dimly luminous transparency of or the atmosphere bluish in tone as though h there thero were indeed some ghostly or infernal existence breathing about th the metal At the same time the clinking sound recommenced recommenced recommenced and my nerves ner which for days days- had b been en tried over gave way with a sn snap p I switched on my lamp and fled fied from the place and that night 1 I had recourse for the third time In my life to an agency that is my mr only means of at escape from such nerve derangement de derangement derangement de- de and I went to sleep under the influence of or morphia I have not been near the machine since then I have made a great effort to pull myself together and to write this statement to you which although It is somewhat diffuse is as clear and exact as us to facts as I can make It H and aud I beg you ou my dear friend to hold all criticism in suspense and to put any engagement engagement engagement en en- which you may have on ono one side and to come to my assistance I feel the thing pulling at atme atme atme me I feel the tides of my vitality shrinking and eb- eb m. f Ilor J r v v. v bing and I have this dreadful cravin craving for speed gnawing gnawing gnawing gnaw gnaw- ing at my system but if It there is any strength left lell leftin lellin in me I will endeavor until you come to do nothing but e exist and suffer suITer Yours In extreme anxiety EDW EDWARD AnD III An hour bour after aCter I had read the letter I was In the train for fer London having tele telegraphed for my motor motorcar car which I had left there to be overhauled to bo be waiting for me at at Paddington It was not nol quite noon when I reached Bracken Hall Ball who was a bachelor lived alone but for his servants and md when I entered the house I was struck with the gloom and silence that pervaded it H. bad had been missing since tho the night before The butler buller an old servant could tell me very little The master masler hasn't be been n in iu Health for weeks s and months sir and latterly ho he has bas bee been anI only a shad shadow w of himself He doesn't sc seem m to take no Interest in anything he never sees anybody nor goes anywhere when he Isn't out driving on the car he is either cither sitting sitting sitting sit sit- ting here brooding by himself or else ho he is out In Inthe Inthe inthe the garage working Merton that's thal's the tho chauffeur sir clr can tell you Jou more about aboul that than I can all I Ikno kno know Is that master has been in a 3 er very strange way for Cor the |