| Show S J Fontenelle To amuse the public what pUblic what a sad vocation for a a. man mall who thinks All that Canada anada seems to be setting getting out of the war with Africa Is the glory with which its troops die One music teacher who didn't taU fall In Inlove Inlove love with Ills his pupil was the Detroit professor professor pro pro- fessor who killed his Duclos Ve Wo scoff at women who take us seriously and we take tragically to those who vho scoff at us She comes of a v very y old family One of her was beheaded in the tho Tower rower of London How lovely A municipality mused u Election Com Commissioner m missioner I I washburn e n derives r its Cf lust t powers from the consent of the tho Governor Governor Gov Gov- Bob B Burdette says a good substitute for the ship subsidy bill bUi would be to wrest the tho tips the steamship I stewards I wonder mused the Bibulous Person I as he contemplated the goat on the bock beer sign if It that animal does Us its horns up on n curl papers Gen Shatter who refused to run for Governor of California evidently entertains enter enter- grave giave doubts as to whether the Governors Governor's Governors Governor's Gov Gov- chair would fit him To one who wasn't In the game it would seem that Mr Thompson who bet 1800 on one pair r reA eA In the Hotel Baltimore hee poker 11 game Is entitled lt t to cents e on the dollar for hi his valor There is much appropriateness in Alfred Austins Austin's determination to dedicate his next volume of verses to President Roose Roose- velt The poet laureate has long been noted as a rough writer It ta is keeping f n more et than one r philosopher I f u up at sn nights to W figure out how the election of House Bath John Dink and Blind Billy can be construed Into victory victory vic vic- tory for the public ownership of ot utilities There has been no frying fat In the campaign at St St. Joseph where Mr Sprat has been elected Mayor It will be remembered that Jack Sprat could eat no fat and his wife could eat no lean and of course cours the Sprats are all related Brooks said sald Rivers the second second sec sec- ond time Ive I've heard you use the phrase aching void I wish you would tell me how a void can ache Well Veil said Brooks reflecting a moment not to speak of a hollow tooth dont don't you sometimes sometimes some some- times h have ve the headache Since Mrs 1 Vanderbilt has had her name copyrighted the Chicago Record Herald fi rI tr gives the following ol ln as the l latest effect in calling cards v MRS JOHN SMITH Holton avenue Wednesdays C Copyright 1902 1902 By Mrs J J. J Smith All rights reserved Tallyrand Society is divided Into two classes the and the fleeced Almost any bride can appear pretty at ata at ata a wedding and those who do not can at least appear well groomed The title of Alderman seems to fit John almost as well as s his Is clothes Rk m which were er made for him England's oldest actor recently cele celebrated celebrated his birthday When actresses reach that age they seldom celebrate We Ve have three kinds of ot friends those friends those who love us those who are indifferent to us and those who hate hale us Improvement of the waterworks system might also be advocated as a temperance measure The water wagon must needs be replenished I think It is time said the man who reads the Ladles Ladles' Home Journal regularly regular regular- ly that Mr Bok was placing some of his beer on the m market t. t There Is h hardly a doubt that as Commissioner of Pensions will encounter encounter ter some hard Yare Ware and have plenty of chances to show his mettle M 1 Santos Dumont who Is in New York Tork intends to stay f y yul ul in America t several f months and probably a until the 1 St s Louis exposi exposition tion It is not exactly a flying visit The strangest part about the formation of the OCO hardware trust this week le that everyone supposed there was already al at ready a hardware l 0 St trust That fh mug calls himself l a lf pugilist does h said Ir e boy He never r won but two fights In his life lIe lIe-I I know his record record rec rec- ord pat Once he got 32 for whipping Milky l Feet over in Argentine and once he got sixty days for beating his mother in I ha haVe e noticed that whenever Congress Is confronted with something unpleasant like the Cuban question says the Alfalfa Sage that It always gives a L few loud whoops h and begin e to investigate t a lot lotof mY awl g of things g that have nothing to do 0 with the question Gov Crane of Massachusetts Massachusetts according to the storyteller in the Brooklyn Eagle declined to appoint President Eliot of Harvard one of a commission to report on ont t the 8 proposed r construction s u of a dam over r the Charles river I on the ground r d that the law says that the commission shall consist consist con con- of three men If It I appointed President President dent Eliot there would be only one |
